Quotes about crap (220 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

“Everybody feels these moments of sadness and moments of loss and sometimes I think everybody can relate to sitting alone and feeling like crap and a friend of yours comes up and starts like, you know, 'Come on, feel happy,' and you don't want that. Sometimes its alright to let yourself be upset about something and so that you can show yourself that regardless of how low you feel, you can always rise out of it, but not at the moment. And so the song ends with the lyric, 'I believe we all fall down' but I don't say 'but we we get back up'. It's just, sometimes you fall down and sometimes you fell low, and that's okay.”

Andrew Biersack (1990) American singer-songwriter

Loss , Thinking , Relation ships , Sadness

“We're such self-centered crap we don't even notice Hell itself rising up against us.”

Alex Jones (1974) American radio host, author, conspiracy theorist and filmmaker

As heard in "Jones Iver - Alex Jones Rants as an Indie Folk Song" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWd6XgBVIcg by Nick Lutsko, released on the Super Deluxe YouTube channel (14 July 2017)

Hell

“Syd was so full of whimsy as well as horrible gas. I swear to God that the early recording sessions of Pink Floyd always smelled like a strange mixture of rotten eggs, rancid cabbage, and crap.”

Syd Barrett (1946–2006) English musician

Nick Mason, Billboard (1972)

God

“Don’t crap where you eat”

Barry Lyga (1971) American writer

Source: I Hunt Killers

“Ah crap!" I instantly shooed away darkness and whatnot, so that I was solid, visible me again. "Sorry, Stevie Rae. I forgot I'd gone all Bram Stoker.”

Kristin Cast book Chosen

Source: Chosen

“It's a big deal when you finally get the chance to do the one thing you want to do -need to do- more than anything. It can kind of scare the crap out of you.”

Sarah Dessen book Just Listen

Source: Just Listen

Chance

“You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”

Chuck Palahniuk Fight Club

Source: Fight Club

World , Beauty , Singing , Dance

“Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite”

P. C. Cast (1960) American writer

“You need to read more science fiction. Nobody who reads science fiction comes out with this crap about the end of history”

Iain Banks (1954–2013) Scottish writer

History , Science , Reading

“You have little time left, and none of it for crap. A fine state. I would say that the best of us always comes out when we are against the wall, when we feel the sword dangling overhead. Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Carlos Castaneda (1925–1998) Peruvian-American author

Source: Tales of Power

Way , Feeling , Time , Personality

“Oh, for crap's sake, I can barely look at it," Aphrodite said, turning her head from the archway and averting her eyes. "And I usually love sparkly things.”

P. C. Cast book Burned

Source: Burned

Love

“That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.”

Helen Fielding book Bridget Jones's Diary

Source: Bridget Jones's Diary

“I get all these loser preps coming up to me asking for autographs and all this crap, and I really want to tell them, 'My music is not for people like you!”

Avril Lavigne (1984) Canadian singer-songwriter and actress

"People"
Let Go (2002)

People , Music

“We have things like protected properties. We have abstract methods. We have all this stuff that your computer science teacher told you you should be using. I don't care about this crap at all.”

Rasmus Lerdorf (1968) Danish programmer and creator of PHP

Itconversations.com http://itc.conversationsnetwork.org/shows/detail3298.html

Teachers , Science

“What they teach in these acting schools is incredible, hair-raising crap. The Actors Studio in America is supposed to be the worst. There the students learn how to be natural - that is, they flop around, pick their noses, scratch their balls. This bullshit is known as "method acting." How can you "teach" someone to be an actor? How can you teach someone how and what to feel and how to express it? How can someone teach me how to laugh or cry? How to be glad and how to be sad? What pain is, or despair or happiness? What poverty and hunger are? What hate and love are? What desire is, and fulfillment? No, I don't want to waste my time with these arrogant morons.”

Klaus Kinski (1926–1991) German actor

Source: Kinski Uncut : The Autobiography of Klaus Kinski (1996), p. 59

Love , Hunger , Pain , Hate

“I mean it seems like there are only two options for songwriters [sic] personalities either theyre [sic] sad, tragic visionaries like morrissey or michael stipe or robert smith or theres [sic] the goofy, nutty white boy, Hey lets party and forget everything people like Van Halen or all that other Heavy metal crap.”

Kurt Cobain book Journals

Source: Journals (2002), p. 44

People , Sadness , Boy , Personality

“Here's the thing. I always hear that whole 'metal is dead' crap. The truth of the matter is that when we started the Ozzfest, media-wise, yes, metal was dead. But as far as the kids went, it was still huge. It was just that radio and MTV decided it wasn't in vogue with what they wanted to do at the time, so the average person didn't hear too much about it. That's why when it comes to picking the new acts each summer, we have people out there on the internet and in the clubs looking for good music and finding bands that people are excited about. I want to know what the kids are into, because I don't trust the industry.”

Ozzy Osbourne (1948) English heavy metal vocalist and songwriter

Guitar World Issue 37, 2000.

People , Truth , Music , Time

“You ever take a crap so big, your pants fit better? Anybody ever do that? You ever…I'm hoping that happens to me later tonight, 'cause these babies don't fit anymore. I'm hoping I'm one big turd away from backing into an old wardrobe.”

Ron White (1956) American comedian

They Call Me Tater Salad

Hope , Baby

“Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years! Now, some rare fly will fly over me, crap on my shoulder, and I'll drop dead, you know? My life story is a real-life story.”

Ozzy Osbourne (1948) English heavy metal vocalist and songwriter

Launch.com, October 30, 1998

Life , Alcohol , Flying , Dead

“Alicia, do I sell fertilizer?" Massie asked.
"No, why?" Alicia fell for Massie's setup.
"Then why do you think I give a crap?”

Lisi Harrison (1970) Canadian writer

Source: Revenge of the Wannabes

Thinking

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

Scott Adams (1957) cartoonist, writer

Dilbert Blog, Sleepless in California, 2006-07-21, http://web.archive.org/20060814050102/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/07/sleepless_in_ca.html, 2006-08-14 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/07/sleepless_in_ca.html,

Life

“This is a 911? You know you only text that when someone is dead or dying. You scared the crap out of me.”

Sarah Dessen book Along for the Ride

Source: Along for the Ride

Dead

“Billy squinted at me. "Why are you letting them go?"
"Because they're real."
"How do you know?"
"The one I was holding crapped on my hand.”

Jim Butcher book Summer Knight

Source: Summer Knight

“You’re all so obsessed with other worlds, you’re so convinced that this one is crap and everywhere else is great, but you’ve never bothered to figure out what’s going on here!”

Lev Grossman The Magician King

Source: The Magician King

World

“Where’s a friggin’ rocket when you need it? Ah, crap, Jaden, stop with the pollen. I hate that. Yeah, taste honey, you punk! (Acheron)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Acheron

Hate

“90% of everything is crap.”

Theodore Sturgeon (1918–1985) American speculative fiction writer

Venture Science Fiction (March 1958) The original expression of this has often been declared to have been "Sure, ninety percent of science fiction is crud. That's because ninety percent of everything is crud." According to Philip Klass Sturgeon made the remark during a talk at New York University around 1951. It has also commonly appeared in variant forms such as "Ninety percent of everything is crap" and is often referred to as "Sturgeon's Law" — though he himself gave that title to another phrase:
Variant: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Context: I repeat Sturgeon's Revelation, which was wrung out of me after twenty years of wearying defense of science fiction against attacks of people who used the worst examples of the field for ammunition, and whose conclusion was that ninety percent of it is crud.
The Revelation: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Corollary 1: The existence of immense quantities of trash in science fiction is admitted and it is regrettable; but it is no more unnatural than the existence of trash anywhere.
Corollary 2: The best science fiction is as good as the best fiction in any field.

“You really get to meet people on such a personal level. There's a real bonding in someone beating the crap out of you.”

Sarah Dessen book Just Listen

Variant: There’s a real bonding in someone beating the crap out of you. - Rolly
Source: Just Listen

People , Personality

“How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?”

Louise Rennison (1951–2016) British writer

Source: Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

School , Idea , Time

“I’m about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: the word “busy” is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes.”

Greg Behrendt (1963) American comedian

Business

“Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Kiss of Death

Princess

“life is crap but, every day is an experience”

Sarah Waters The Night Watch

Source: The Night Watch

Life

“We're just not cut out for all this media circus crap.
But then, you already knew that.”

James Patterson book Maximum Ride

Source: Max

“Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Midnight Alley

Soul , Time

“These flowers will be rotten in a couple hours. Birds will crap on them. The smoke here will make them stink, and tomorrow a bulldozer will probably run over them, but for right now they are so beautiful.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Survivor

Source: Survivor

Beauty , Flowers , Bird

“All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.”

Laurie Halse Anderson Speak

Source: Speak

Lie , Feeling , Communication

“That’s pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our attention. Jacking off. Denial.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Choke

Source: Choke

“I’m gonna have to get my eyes checked. I can’t see crap until it’s right in front of me”

Jennifer Crusie book Bet Me

Source: Bet Me

“In a way, I was incrediibly proud of her (not that I had any intention of letting it show while I was beating the crap out of her).”

Meg Cabot (1967) Novelist

Way

“The same boys who got detention in elementary school for beating the crap out of people are now rewarded for it. They call it football.”

Laurie Halse Anderson Speak

Source: Speak

People , School , Boy , Football

“Everything government touches turns to crap.”

Ringo Starr (1940) British musician, former member of the Beatles

“Everyone has crap in their background, everyone has things they wish they could undo. But most people don't go around doing their best to screw up their present lives because of it.”

Nicholas Sparks book The Rescue

Source: The Rescue

People

“…(W)here there's drama, there's crap.”

Jincy Willett American writer

Source: The Writing Class

“First thought: It was a dream
Second thought: No it wasn't
Third thought: Crap”

Laurie Halse Anderson (1961) American children's writer

Source: Twisted

Dreams

“This being-nice crap was for the
birds.”

Kerrelyn Sparks (1955) American writer

Source: The Undead Next Door

Bird

“It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?

Men are crap.”

Sophie Kinsella book I've Got Your Number

Source: I've Got Your Number

Men , Birthday

“Kissing is something that makes up for a lot of other crap you have to put up with… It can be confusing and weird and awkward, but sometimes it just makes you melt and forget everything that is going on.”

Maureen Johnson (1973) writer from the USA

Source: The Name of the Star

Kiss , Forgetting

“Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"--because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk”

E. Lockhart (1967) American writer of novels as E. Lockhart (mainly for teenage girls) and of picture books under real name Emily J…

Source: Real Live Boyfriends: Yes. Boyfriends, Plural. If My Life Weren't Complicated, I Wouldn't Be Ruby Oliver

Sadness

“You've influenced the world not because you wanted to hug it and cuddle it and call it sweet thing, but because one day you wanted to beat the crap out of somebody but you didn't. You made a painting instead.”

Libba Bray Going Bovine

Source: Going Bovine

World , Painting

“I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.”

Laurie Notaro American writer

Source: The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life

Dogs

“Tell me, did you summon me just so you could beat the crap out of me? Or is there a more productive reason for why I’m here? (Eros)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon Fantasy Lover

Source: Fantasy Lover

“Dude! Put a bell on. You don't walk up on a brother like that and scare the crap out of him. (Nick)
Sorry. Didn't realize you scared like a little girl. (Acheron)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Invincible

Girl

“No I'm worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you Mikey.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Ghost Town

People

“Holy crap,” I said. While staring off at Rose and Dimitri, a brilliant flash had caught my eye—a flash on Rose’s finger.
“What’s that?” I exclaimed. “Did you rob Lissa’s crown jewels?”

Richelle Mead (1976) American writer

Source: The Ruby Circle

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking… a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”

Sophie Kinsella (1969) British writer

Life , Night

“Tohr laughed softly. "Yeah, I'm not much for the emotive crap either-Ouch! Wellsie, what the he*l?”

Jessica Bird (1969) U.S. novelist

Source: Lover Awakened

“Love does not exist, it's like religion, the state wants you to believe in that kind of crap so they can control you, and f**k your head up.”

Irvine Welsh book Trainspotting

Source: Trainspotting

Love , Religion

“What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: Fang

Life , Stupidity , Perfection

“Jules: Why are you on the floor?
Emma: I've heard roling out of bed in the morning helps you build up resistance to surprise attacks.
Jules: Oh yeah? What does screaming "holy crap!" do?
Emma: That part's optional.”

Cassandra Clare book Lord of Shadows

Source: Lord of Shadows

Help , Parting

“And mortal terror in a female was Z's favorite turn-on. He got off on it like most males favored crap from Victoria's Secret.”

Jessica Bird book Dark Lover

Source: Dark Lover

Secret

“The stallion stared in my direction and bared his teeth. Now horses were giving me crap.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Gifts

Horse

“Holy crap! Your story was so long I forgot the beginning! - Ichigo Kurosaki”

Tite Kubo (1977) Japanese manga artist

Source: Bleach, Volume 06

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”

Janet Evanovich book Seven Up

Source: Seven Up

“A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.”

Scott Lynch book The Republic of Thieves

Source: The Republic of Thieves

World , Girl , Boy , Mood

“I think I just became psychic," he said. "Holy crap.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Ghost Town

Thinking

“Dismissing fantasy writing because some of it is bad is exactly like saying I'm not reading Jane Eyre because it is a romance and I know romance is crap.”

China Miéville (1972) English writer

Reading

“You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it.
That's why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”

Octavia E. Butler (1947–2006) American science fiction writer

Thinking

“We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.”

Chuck Palahniuk Fight Club

Source: Fight Club

“It's easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.”

Laurie Halse Anderson Speak

Source: Speak

Lie , Feeling , Communication

“Everybody has problems. Some people just hide their crap better than others.”

Ned Vizzini book It's Kind of a Funny Story

Source: It's Kind of a Funny Story

People , Problem

“Rule #1 in the Universe: the crap always hits the fan. It's the nature of crap. It's a fan magnet.”

Karen Marie Moning (1964) author

Source: Iced

Nature , Universe

“I don't use a crap camera, I don't eat junk, and I'm not going to a dance where the boys are bores”

Adriana Trigiani (1970) American film director

Source: Viola in Reel Life

Boy , Dance

“The more crap you believe, the better off you are.”

Charles Bukowski (1920–1994) American writer

“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"

"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Feast of Fools

Thinking

“My work has a strong negative element. I have my own inner demons to deal with. Drawing is a way for me to articulate things inside myself that I can't otherwise grasp. What I don't want to do, what I dread more than anything, is to leave a legacy of crap. I don't want my work to be tossed in the dustbin of history, and become more of the second rate, mediocre junk that future connoisseurs will have to move out of the way so they can get at the good stuff.”

Robert Crumb (1943) American cartoonist

The R. Crumb Handbook by Robert Crumb and Peter Poplaski (2005), p. 394

Way , History , Strong , Future

“If we're looking for a rationale other than "Loughner was nuts," I think the more relevant facts about him are that he was an atheist who detested religion and religious people, made lots of references to satanic New Age "conscience dreaming" (sic) and was involved in the occult.
When a fellow participant on a UFO website wrote a lengthy response to Loughner's question about "what is wrong or right with the current date?" which included the subordinate clause, "a day in Christ is as a thousand years," Loughner fixated on that one line, railing, "I won't listen to that fictitious crap without the author. This is laughable to notice a gospel or writing related to Christ."”

Ann Coulter (1961) author, political commentator

"Mud Libel" (19 January 2011).
2011

People , Age , Religion , Dreams

“Punk: Tonight, the Straight-edge Society becomes the first ever Straight-edge World Unified Tag Team Champions. I came out here for a reason, I came out with a purpose. I'm here to lead my crusade, [Crowd chants you suck] and I've brought my disciples, Luke Gallows and the beautiful Serena with me.
Triple H: Punk, I have been watching Smackdown. And I gotta say, while I'm relieved to know that your straight, this whole I don't drink thing, I don't think anybody really gives a crap, do you know what I mean? [Crowd cheers]
Punk: You're looking at three people who give a crap, and don't try to pretend you know anything about me, or you know anything about Straight-edge, or you know anything about my society at all.
Triple H: No, no, no, no, you're right. I don't know anything about it, I don't get it, Punk, that's the thing. I don't get it, I mean you don't drink, you don't do drugs, you don't smoke. Okay, neither do I. But then again, I don't look like I've been on a week long crack binge with Amy Winehouse! [Serena shakes her head, Punk looks pissed] I'm just saying, have a little pride, man. Pick yourself up, clean yourself off. Maybe take them clippers out of the bag, shave that squirrel off you got on your chin. [Punk grabs his beard and mouths off] Hey, do yourself a favor. Grab a shower, cause I don't know if it's you, Lobotomy Man, or Britney Spears right there, but one of you's got a bad case of swamp butt!
Punk: Alright, are you done? Is amateur comedy hour over? Because I came here to claim those tag titles!”

Phil Brooks (1978) American professional wrestler and mixed martial artist

January 29, 2010
Friday Night SmackDown

People , World , Beauty , Drink

“"God blessed this guy's feet, but forgot about the rest, specially his mouth, because when he talks he only says crap, I mean: he only say shi*."”

Romário (1966) Brazilian association football player

Deus abençoou os pés desse cidadão, mas se esqueceu do resto e principalmente da boca, porque quando ele fala só sai besteira, ou melhor: só sai m...
Source: esportes.terra
Context: Referring to Pele, after the latter criticized him after the 1998 Gold Cup.

God , Guy

“I said you were a man of peace. I want you to know I took immense crap for that.”

George W. Bush (1946) 43rd President of the United States

to Ariel Sharon, quoted in [2003-06-02, Glenn, Kessler, Bush Sticks to the Broad Strokes; In Mideast Peace Push, President Wary of Details and Deep Intervention, The Washington Post, A.01, http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/washingtonpost/access/343021791.html?FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT]
2000s, 2003

Peace

“The book of your revolution sits in the pit of your belly, young Indian. Crap it out, and read.Instead of which, they’re all sitting in front of color TVs and watching cricket and shampoo advertisements.”

Aravind Adiga book The White Tiger

The Seventh Night.
The White Tiger (2008)

Books , Color

“This song is actually about when I got arrested for about 30 minutes in Mexico, and as we were just about to cross into Tijuana, we were just about to cross the "Bridge of Freedom", which I always thought was an ironic name for the bridge into Tijuana, or the one coming back for that matter. And this woman was selling these crucifixes before you got to the bridge, and she looked at me and said "You're in for trouble", and I just scoffed and laughed and was like "You don't live forever" and I thought "Jeez, what's up with the weird old woman?". And then later that night I was sitting in this police car in Tijuana and they just beat the crap out of this other guy, not that I was with, and I was like "Am I next?". I had bought this fake gold chain because my dad had said "If you go to Tijuana, have some fake jewellery to barter with."”

Josh Homme (1973) American musician

I traded with them - they just wanted cash. But I felt so sick in the back of the police car that I was like "If I throw up in here I'm dead".
Over the Years and Through the Woods, "Mexicola" commentary footage (2005)
Over the Years and Through the Woods

Cars , Guy , Freedom , Night

““How, in this day and age, can any one of you claim to be better than your fellow human beings?”
“Because we are,” said Marilyn Deighton-True with a shrug. “Face reality, Giles, or it will face you. You can spout all the socialiste nouveau crap you like, but it simply doesn’t apply to a meritocracy.””

Kage Baker book The Life of the World to Come

Source: The Life of the World to Come (2004), Chapter 6, “Alec and His Friends” (p. 106)

Age , Reality

“(While playing solitaire and sipping cognac) It's all a lot of crap. The game is up.”

Ernst Kaltenbrunner (1903–1946) Austrian-born senior official of Nazi Germany executed for war crimes

To Adolf Eichmann, about the war, at a mountain villa in Austria. Quoted in "The Last 100 Days" - by John Toland - 1966

Game

“Who is this man taking a crap in my bathroom!?”

Kerry Jackson

Radio From Hell (October 11, 2005)

“Climate change argument is absolute crap.”

Tony Abbott (1957) Australian politician

Quoted in "A look back at most controversial Tony Abbott moments" http://www.news.com.au/national/a-look-back-at-most-controversial-tony-abbott-moments-after-prime-minister-apologises-for-winking/story-fncynjr2-1226927063505 on news.com.au, May 23, 2014.
2010

Change

“The Vigils kept things under control. Without The Vigils, Trinity might have been torn apart like other schools had been, by demonstrations, protests, all that crap.”

Robert Cormier book The Chocolate War

Source: The Chocolate War (1974), p. 27

School

“Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.”

Lewis Black (1948) American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic and actor

Last Laugh ‘05 (2005)

“Strong language in Larkin is put in not to shock the reader but to define the narrator's personality. When Larkin's narrator in 'A Study of Reading Habits' (in The Whitsun Weddings) said 'Books are a load of crap' there were critics - some of them, incredibly, among his more appreciative - who allowed themselves to believe that Larkin was expressing his own opinion. (Kingsley Amis had the same kind of trouble, perhaps from the same kind of people, when he let Jim Dixon cast aspersions on Mozart.) It should be obvious at long last, however, that the diction describes the speaker.”

Clive James (1939–2019) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet, translator and memoirist

'Philip Larkin: 'Wolves of Memory'
Essays and reviews, At the Pillars of Hercules (1979)

People , Books , Study , Wedding

“And the Lord Rupert looked at his work, and even he saw that it was a load of crap, but this was the enterprise culture and it sold millions so it was good. And on the same basis he decided to take over the television too, and the earth itself wept, and little robins vomited, and cuddly furry animals threw themselves under trains, and the whole thing was filmed by Sky Channel for a horror nature programme, and the most awful thing of all was that this was just the beginning.”

Attila the Stockbroker (1957) punk poet, folk punk musician and songwriter

"The Bible according to Rupert Murdoch", from attilathestockbroker.com http://www.attilathestockbroker.com. Retrieved 2007-03-26.

Nature , Animals , Training

“I didn't just start doing this today. Not like some people that have a movie coming out, so they go visit kids in the hospital. You don't need that phony crap. All of these celebrities, they turn my stomach with their funny stuff. I've been going in the ghettos without the press, without bodyguards, talking to kids. "Get to reading, stay in school. You don't have to carry a gun." I know about peer pressure and all that, but I say, "Hey, they called me a sissy because I wouldn't join a gang. Who was calling me a sissy? Does it make me a sissy because somebody called me a sissy?" […] I'm going to fight if you touch me or hurt me or do harm to my family. But if you call me a bad name, or whatnot, I'm too smart for that. That's the message the kids need to hear coming from me. I tell them, "If I fought every time somebody called me a name, I would never get out of jail. But I'm disciplined. I'm smarter than that." So I tell them, like my mother said, "Consider the source."”

Mr. T (1952) American actor and retired professional wrestler

When you see who called you the name, then you understand why they're doing it. Then you don't have to stoop that low.

People , School , Family , Understanding

“It's time to start recognizing that not all escapist entertainment is created equal. And that some of it isn't even entertainment. Miss March is, to use the vernacular of the escapist moviegoer, the biggest pile of crap I've seen in ages.”

Stephanie Zacharek (1963) American film critic

Review http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2009/03/13/miss_march/index.html of Miss March (2009)

Age , Time

“PETA doesn't want stressed animals to be cruelly crowded into sheds, ankle-deep in their own crap, because they don't want any animals to die-ever-and basically think chickens should, in time, gain the right to vote. I don't want animals stressed or crowded or treated cruelly or inhumanely because that makes them probably less delicious.”

Anthony Bourdain (1956–2018) Chef and food writer

Medium Raw (2010)

Thinking , Time , Animals

“I'm quite hardcore on this. I think every psychic and medium in this country belongs in prison. Even the ones demented enough to believe in what they're doing. In fact, especially them. Give them windowless cells and make them crap in buckets.”

Charlie Brooker (1971) journalist, broadcaster and writer from England

Guardian columns

Thinking , Country

“I am Archie Costello," he said. "And I'll always be there, Obie. You'll always have me wherever you go and whatever you do. Tomorrow, ten years from now. Know why, Obie? Because I'm you. I'm all the things you hide inside you. That's me-" "Cut it out," Obie said. He hated it when Archie began to get fancy, spinning his wheels. "What you're saying is a lot of crap. I know who you are. And I know who I am.”

Robert Cormier book Beyond the Chocolate War

But do I, he wondered, do I?
Source: Beyond the Chocolate War (1985), p. 264

Hate

“I like good horror movies. They can exorcise our demons. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn't want to exorcise anything. It wants to tramp crap through our imaginations and wipe its feet on our dreams. I think of filmgoers on a date, seeing this movie and then — what? I guess they'll have to laugh at it, irony being a fashionable response to the experience of being had. … Do yourself a favor. There are a lot of good movies playing right now that can make you feel a little happier, smarter, sexier, funnier, more excited — or more scared, if that's what you want. This is not one of them. Don't let it kill 98 minutes of your life.”

Roger Ebert (1942–2013) American film critic, author, journalist, and TV presenter

Review http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-texas-chainsaw-massacre-2003 of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (17 October 2003)
Reviews, Zero star reviews

Life , Dreams , Feeling , Imagination

“But with today's mammoth papers the poor boobs have to write at ten times the length their subject is worth, and apart from over-padded news we have the curse of modern journalism, the proliferation of the commentary, the background exposition, the in-depth analysis, the "think-piece", all adding up to an indigestible stream of crap which no one wants to read, and no one, to judge by the mechanical repetition and weary rambling, wants to write either.”

George MacDonald Fraser (1925–2008) English-born author of Scottish descent

Dumbing Down, Down, Down... p. 253-254.
The Light's On At Signpost (2002)

Thinking , Time , Reading

“It’s not just how they feel about it, but what it feels like to wear. It’s not a comfortable process to go through, on a daily basis, and actors will often complain about how I torture them and stuff. I don’t want to torture them - though in some cases I do [laughs] - but I also want to know if they’re just being a baby or if they’re being realistic about it. So I’ll try it on to see which is the most uncomfortable, or what might become annoying after a number of days. So at least I know what it’s like on the other side, so I can sympathise with them, or tell them they’re full of crap, or whatever. Because I’ve worn it, and I know it’s not that bad.”

Rick Baker (1950) American special makeup effects artist

Rick Baker interview: Men In Black 3, werewolves and Videodrome http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/23258/rick-baker-interview-men-in-black-3-werewolves-and-videodrome (November 5, 2012)

Feeling , Baby

“They said if you just turn against Trump it would be better, but he was doing good, and that's what makes it so bad… If he had been a piece a crap from the beginning, it wouldn't be so bad. But we made so many sacrifices. And now he's crapping all over us.”

Alex Jones (1974) American radio host, author, conspiracy theorist and filmmaker

The Alex Jones Show, 13 April 2018; quoted in "Watch Alex Jones cry over Trump's decision to bomb Syria" https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/alex-jones-cry-syria/ by Christine Friar, The Daily Dot (14 April 2018).
2018