Funny quotes

A collection of quotes on the topic of funny.

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Robert Fulghum photo
Lawrence Ferlinghetti photo
Jane Austen photo

„I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.“

—  Jane Austen, Jane Austen's Letters
Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition]

Neil deGrasse Tyson photo
A.A. Milne photo
John F. Kennedy photo

„Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.“

—  John F. Kennedy 35th president of the United States of America 1917 - 1963
As quoted in Mayor (1984) by Ed Koch

Dr. Seuss photo

„Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.“

—  Dr. Seuss American children's writer and illustrator, co-founder of Beginner Books 1904 - 1991
Often attributed to Dr. Seuss without citation; also cited as an anonymous proverb. This quote has also been attributed to Gabriel García Márquez, in Spanish: "No llores porque ya se terminó, sonríe porque sucedió." Compare lines from In Memoriam A.H.H. of Tennyson:   'Tis better to have loved and lost   Than never to have loved at all.

W.B. Yeats photo
Andy Rooney photo

„The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.“

—  Andy Rooney writer, humorist, television personality 1919 - 2011

Ozzy Osbourne photo

„Out of everything I've lost, I miss my mind the most!“

—  Ozzy Osbourne English heavy metal vocalist and songwriter 1948

W. H. Auden photo

„We are all on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for, I can't imagine.“

—  W. H. Auden Anglo-American poet 1907 - 1973
Often cited as by Auden without attribution, this quotation has been traced to John Foster Hall (1867-1945), an English comedian known as the Reverend Vivian Foster, Vicar of Mirth. Full history with sound recording

Erma Bombeck photo

„Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.“

—  Erma Bombeck When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and co... 1927 - 1996

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