Scott Adams Quotes (86 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

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God's Debris

Scott Adams

Scott Adams: 86 quotes4 likes

Famous Scott Adams Quotes

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

Scott Adams

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

Scott Adams

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

Scott Adams

“You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public”

Scott Adams

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

Scott Adams

"A Kind Word", in DNRC Newsletter #9 (December 1995) http://web.archive.org/web/19970412134441/www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/newsletter/html/newsletter09.html

“Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

Scott Adams Quotes about people

“The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to
think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.
- Wally's Keynote Speech”

Scott Adams

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

Scott Adams

“Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

Scott Adams

Source: God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.”

Scott Adams

Scott Adams Quotes about thinking

“I am saying: I see a flame thrower. I think the flame thrower guy wins in the stick fight.”

Scott Adams

[Monticello, Justin; Manning, Alex; & Weissmueller, Zach, Dilbert Creator Scott Adams on Donald Trump's "Linguistic Kill Shots", reason.com, 6 October 2015, http://reason.com/reasontv/2015/10/06/donald-trump-is-a-master-wizard]

“They say that dogs lick their own genitalia because they can. But I think it's at least partially because they don't have the Internet.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert blog, My day as a Neanderthal, 2006-10-25, http://web.archive.org/20061107115218/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/my_day_as_a_nea.html, 2006-11-07 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/my_day_as_a_nea.html,

“You might think the word “homemade” is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don’t realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that’s why.”

Scott Adams

Restaurant menus Source: "Menus: Stacey’s Homemade Soup Of The Day", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Atttributed to Adams by "About Us", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/about-us.php,

“There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert Blog, Quotes, 2007-02-26, http://web.archive.org/20070228095118/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/02/quotes.html, 2007-02-28 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/02/quotes.html,

“If you think it’s easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you’ve probably never tried.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Spicy Fried Calamari", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“I think New Yorkers are more provocative in every way.”

Scott Adams

[Scott Adams talks to Naval Ravikant, YouTube, 8 May 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu4RkmUIfR4] (55:42 of 56:02)

Scott Adams: Trending quotes

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”

Scott Adams

Source: Books, The Dilbert Principle (1996)

“What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality?”

Scott Adams

The Avatar, from God's Debris : A Thought Experiment (2001)
Context: Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality?

“If an economist uses a complicated model to predict just about anything, you can ignore it.”

Scott Adams

Press release, 10 September 2008 http://dilbert.com/blog Context: If an economist uses a complicated model to predict just about anything, you can ignore it. By analogy, a doctor can’t tell you the exact date of your death in 50 years. But if a doctor tells you to eat less and exercise more, that’s good advice even if you later get hit by a bus. Along those same lines, economists can give useful general advice on the economy, even if you know there will be surprises. Still, be skeptical.

Scott Adams Quotes

“When you understand persuasion … the truth is not as useful as it should be …”

Scott Adams

[Sam Harris vs. Scott Adams on Trump, YouTube, 19 July 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAVMbuETnX0] (14:43 of 2:17:44)

“The truth is that I imagined every bit of good fortune that has come my way.”

Scott Adams

Context: Years later, when "Dilbert" was in thousands of newspapers, people often asked me if I ever imagined being so lucky. I usually said no, because that's the answer people expected. The truth is that I imagined every bit of good fortune that has come my way. But in my imagination I also invented a belt that would allow me to fly and had special permission from Congress to urinate like a bird wherever I wanted. I wake up every morning disappointed that I have to wear pants and walk. Imagination has a way of breeding disappointment.

“These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping.”

Scott Adams

The Dilbert Principle (1995)
Context: These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real letdown if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

“I wake up every morning disappointed that I have to wear pants and walk. Imagination has a way of breeding disappointment.”

Scott Adams

“Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.”

Scott Adams

The Dilbert Principle (1996), p. 174;
Context: Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”

Scott Adams

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert Blog, Sleepless in California, 2006-07-21, http://web.archive.org/20060814050102/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/07/sleepless_in_ca.html, 2006-08-14 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/07/sleepless_in_ca.html,

“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”

Scott Adams

“When did ignorance become a point of view?”

Scott Adams

“If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

“I get mail; therefore I am.”

Scott Adams

“Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo”

Scott Adams

“The best things in life are silly.”

Scott Adams

“I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.”

Scott Adams

“The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.”

Scott Adams

“When life gives you lemons… choke on them and die… you stupid lemon eater.”

Scott Adams

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”

Scott Adams

The Dilbert Principle (1995)

“There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”

Scott Adams

“The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.”

Scott Adams

Source: God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.”

Scott Adams

Source: God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that
helps him get through the day”

Scott Adams

Source: God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.”

Scott Adams

“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power.”

Scott Adams

Source: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

“Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there”

Scott Adams

“The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I’m sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Jambalaya", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“The biggest issue in this election is something called flip-flopping, and all candidates are accused of doing it. A strong leader is expected to maintain steadfast resolve in his opinion even if the environment changes or he gets new information. In any other context, that would be considered the first sign of a brain tumor. When presidents do it, it's called leadership, and frankly, we can't get enough of it.”

Scott Adams

DNRC Newsletter #57, 2004-10-28 http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter57.html,

“We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Goat Cheese with Caramelized Pear Dip", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.”

Scott Adams

DNRC Newsletter #58, 2004-11-11 http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter58.html,

“The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes. Whose fault is that? Do you blame the baby who didn't ask to be born male? Or do you blame the society that brought him into the world, all round-pegged and turgid, and said, "Here's your square hole"?The way society is organized at the moment, we have no choice but to blame men for bad behavior. If we allowed men to act like unrestrained horny animals, all hell would break loose. All I'm saying is that society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness.”

Scott Adams

"Pegs and Holes", 2011-06-15, Scott Adams Blog, 2012-12-03 https://www.scottadamssays.com/2011/06/15/pegs-and-holes/,, quoted in * 2011-06-20 Dilbert Creator Scott Adams Says Rape Is A ‘Natural Instinct’ For Men Huffington Post https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dilbert-creator-scott-adams-on-rape_n_880590

“There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

“This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Apple-wood Smoked BLT", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If you don’t believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Grilled Salmon", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it’s self-love, so it won’t help you that much.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Stacey’s Favorite Baked Shells & Cheese", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“We smoke the bacon so you don’t have to.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Free Range California Chicken", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Our scallops are so delicious your mouth will thank you, which is creepy because your mouth can actually talk.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Sea Scallop", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“We use only the finest days of the week in this dish.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Risotto of the Day", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Spinach Salad with Pacific Fish Cakes", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Caesar [Salad http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php,", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14] Restaurant menus

“This dish might not turn you into a syndicated cartoonist, but whatever you’re doing now probably isn’t working either.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Scott’s Favorite Pasta", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If there is one thing that our role models in this election have taught us, it's that omitting important information is completely different from lying.”

Scott Adams

DNRC Newsletter #57, 2004-10-28 http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter57.html,

“Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert Blog, Good News Day, 2006-10-24, http://web.archive.org/20061107120053/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/good_news_day.html, 2006-11-07 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/good_news_day.html,

“My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.”

Scott Adams

"Phone", 2010-09-03, Scott Adams Blog, 2011-09-30 https://www.scottadamssays.com/2010/09/03/phone/,

“Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons”

Scott Adams

Title of book, Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons (1995)

“The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert blog, The Benefits of Getting Old, http://web.archive.org/20061111154839/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/08/benefits_of_get.html, 2006-11-11 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/08/benefits_of_get.html,

“People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.”

Scott Adams Dilbert

Dilbert, in Daily Dilbert (26 March 2005)

“If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Portabella Mushroom", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.”

Scott Adams

The Dilbert Blog: Atheists: The New Gays, 2006-11-19 http://richarddawkins.net/article,326,Atheists-The-New-Gays,Scott-Adams--Dilbertblog,

“Our salmon sandwiches are so good you’ll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don’t.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Blackened Salmon Sandwich", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus