Quotes about crap
page 2

Michael Moore photo
Marc Maron photo

“I'm just saying, a lot of people are on medicine, they don't need to be. Because let's be honest folks, it isn't easy for anyone. And I think in most cases, the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment. And to be honest, in the day and age we live in now, if someone comes up to you and says, “I think you might be clinically depressed,” the proper response is, “Thank you, thank you very much. That means I’m awake." Is there any indication we shouldn’t be depressed— are you living on the same planet that I am? Did you ever think that depression is the reasonable human response to the crap we’re going through as a species, meant to propel us into the next evolutionary step, or at least into taking some different course of action so we might survive? Did you ever think that maybe it’s the happy people that are really screwed up in the head? Where’s that spin on the situation? Maybe it's those guys. "Hey, how ya doing?" "I don't know, I feel great, again!" "Really, well, that's creepy and weird. Maybe you should be on medication. Clearly you're self-centered, delusional, narcissistic. I don't know, but you're draining me with your happy. Could you move along because I'm doing the big work, creating a world that functions properly in my brain."”

Marc Maron (1963) Comedian

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/2ufif7/comedy-central-presents-bipolar-coaster
Comedy Central Presents (2007)

Jason Mraz photo
Michael Richards photo

“For me to be at a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. … I'm not a racist, that's what's so insane about this!”

Michael Richards (1949) American actor

Appearing on the Late Show with David Letterman (20 November 2006), as quoted in "'Kramer' Apologizes, Says He's Not Racist", CBS News (21 November 2006) http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/20/entertainment/main2201817.shtml

Harlan Ellison photo

“If I had to pick a religion, I'd pick Buddhism. Buddhism is a kindly religion. It says you got a chance… it's got humor, it's got wisdom, it says to be nice to each other. All the rest of them have gods that want to beat the crap out of you if you defy the rules.”

Harlan Ellison (1934–2018) American writer

Interviewed by J. Michael Straczynski Clue book for the computer version of I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream http://infidels.org/kiosk/author/harlan-ellison-207.html

Philip Larkin photo

“Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.”

"A Study of Reading Habits" (20 August 1960)
The Whitsun Weddings (1964)

John Derbyshire photo

“Ninety percent of paid work is time-wasting crap. The world gets by on the other ten.”

John Derbyshire (1945) writer

Source: Wishing I’d Played the Ponies http://takimag.com/article/wishing_id_played_the_ponies/print#axzz3xNaU2RAk, Taki's Magazine, June 16, 2011.

Linus Torvalds photo

“C++ is a horrible language. It's made more horrible by the fact that a lot of substandard programmers use it, to the point where it's much much easier to generate total and utter crap with it.”

Linus Torvalds (1969) Finnish-American software engineer and hacker

Message to gmane.comp.version-control.git mailing list, 2007-09-06, Torvalds, Linus, 2007-09-22 http://article.gmane.org/gmane.comp.version-control.git/57918,
2000s, 2007

Christopher Hitchens photo

“The idea that God speaks to some illiterate merchant warlord in Arabia, and he’s able to write this down perfectly and it contains the answers to all — don’t waste my time with that bulls**t. Also, the archangel Gabriel speaks only Arabic, it seems? Crap.”

Christopher Hitchens (1949–2011) British American author and journalist

http://www.inquisitr.com/1735647/christopher-hitchens-islam-comments-resurface-after-charlie-hebdo-its-the-most-depraved-religion/
2010s, 2010

Lorenz Hart photo
Donald J. Trump photo
Eugene Jarvis photo
Scott Kurtz photo

“Cole, would it be okay if I crapped myself right now?”

PvP (1998)

Tony Abbott photo

“The argument [behind climate change] is absolute crap. However, the politics of this are tough for us. Eighty per cent of people believe climate change is a real and present danger.”

Tony Abbott (1957) Australian politician

Remarks quoted by Craig Wilson, editor of the Pyrenees Advocate, quoted in "Town of Beaufort changed Tony Abbott's view on climate change" http://www.theaustralian.com.au/politics/the-town-that-turned-up-the-temperature/story-e6frgczf-1225809567009 in the Australian, December 12, 2009. [no recording was made, and accounts differ of the precise wording].
2009

Helen Garner photo

“Crap,' said Janet. 'He was a whinger and he wrote it down. That's not poetry.”

Page 78.
Cosmo Cosmolino (1992)

Ken Livingstone photo

“What a squalid and irresponsible little profession it is. Nothing prepares you for how bad Fleet Street really is until it craps on you from a great height.”

Ken Livingstone (1945) Mayor of London between 2000 and 2008

City Limits, 1 May 1986, quoted in The New Penguin Dictionary of Modern Quotations by Robert Andrews
Source: https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=VK0vR4fsaigC&pg=PT1062&lpg=PT1062&dq=ken+livingstone+%22squalid+and+irresponsible%22&source=bl&ots=F0cC08cyjK&sig=DZt7eobEcCQDQlN7fFdbQZ2suhQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjkiaiz6pHZAhXvp1kKHQvUAnwQ6AEISzAI#v=onepage&q=ken%20livingstone%20%22squalid%20and%20irresponsible%22&f=false

Timothy Ferriss photo
Ira Glass photo

“Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.”

Ira Glass (1959) American radio personality

"Ira Glass on Storytelling, part 2" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW6x7lOIsPE
This American Life

Gerhard Richter photo
Christopher Hitchens photo
Karl Denninger photo

“Ya gotta be fruity to carry that crap [an iPhone] around in your pocket.”

Karl Denninger American businessman

Apple Screws The Pooch (Again) http://market-ticker.org/akcs-www?post=230052 in The Market Ticker (22 April 2015)

Christopher Titus photo
Patrick Rothfuss photo
Patrick Stump photo
Bill Cosby photo

“I suspect this picture is pretty close to what fans were hoping for, and for their sake, I'm glad it's markedly better than the two that preceded it. But Revenge of the Sith is still crap.”

Stephanie Zacharek (1963) American film critic

Review http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2005/05/18/star_wars_iii/index.html of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Richard Nixon photo
Jerome David Salinger photo
Walker Percy photo
Robert Smith (musician) photo
Ben Croshaw photo

“No book critic has ever tried to assess the Old Testament. Maybe they should. I did once. It's a crap story and it's very badly written.”

Ben Croshaw (1983) English video game journalist

Where God Went Wrong
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

Robert Crumb photo

“My generation comes from a world that has been molded by crass TV programs, movies, comic books, popular music, advertisements and commercials. My brain is a huge garbage dump of all this stuff and it is this, mainly, that my work comes out of, for better or for worse. I hope that whatever synthesis I make of all this crap contains something worthwhile, that it's something other than just more smarmy entertainment—or at least, that it's genuine high quality entertainment. I also hope that perhaps it's revealing of something, maybe. On the other hand, I want to avoid becoming pretentious in the eagerness to give my work deep meanings! I have an enormous ego and must resist the urge to come on like a know-it-all. Some of the imagery in my work is sorta scary because I'm basically a fearful, pessimistic person. I'm always seeing the predatory nature of the universe, which can harm you or kill you very easily and very quickly, no matter how well you watch your step. The way I see it, we are all just so much chopped liver. We have this great gift of human intelligence to help us pick our way through this treacherous tangle, but unfortunately we don't seem to value it very much. Most of us are not brought up in environments that encourage us to appreciate and cultivate our intelligence. To me, human society appears mostly to be a living nightmare of ignorant, depraved behavior. We're all depraved, me included. I can't help it if my work reflects this sordid view of the world. Also, I feel that I have to counteract all the lame, hero-worshipping crap that is dished out by the mass-media in a never-ending deluge.”

Robert Crumb (1943) American cartoonist

The R. Crumb Handbook by Robert Crumb and Peter Poplaski (2005), p. 363

Linus Torvalds photo

“XML is crap. Really. There are no excuses. XML is nasty to parse for humans, and it's a disaster to parse even for computers. There's just no reason for that horrible crap to exist.”

Linus Torvalds (1969) Finnish-American software engineer and hacker

Linus Torvalds - Google+ (As a reply in the comments section), Torvalds, Linus, 2014-03-06, 2014-03-07 https://plus.google.com/+LinusTorvalds/posts/X2XVf9Q7MfV,
2010s, 2014

Larry the Cable Guy photo
Glenn Beck photo

“I could give a flying crap about the political process…. We're an entertainment company.”

Glenn Beck (1964) U.S. talk radio and television host

Rose
Lacey
Glenn Beck Inc.
Forbes
0015-6914
2010-04-08
2010-04-26
http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2010/0426/entertainment-fox-news-simon-schuster-glenn-beck-inc.html?boxes=Homepagechannels
2010s, 2010

Robin Williams photo

“The sound crapped out for a bit, that's why I'm using SupposiSound! No one wants their tapes back, I wonder why.”

Robin Williams (1951–2014) American actor and stand-up comedian

A Night at the Met (1986)

Jim Gaffigan photo
Mark Ames photo
Sacha Baron Cohen photo

“With all respect, why do you give crap countries a vote?”

Sacha Baron Cohen (1971) English stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and voice actor

As quoted in "War" http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=qyA-A3mYV6A (28 February 2003), Da Ali G Show

Ralph Bakshi photo
Bel Kaufmanová photo
Christopher Vokes photo

“My recollection is that most of the crap coming out of the trial via the media had Meyer condemned even before the trial was over.”

Christopher Vokes (1904–1985) Canadian general

The Occupation, p. 205
Vokes - My Story (1985)

Bill Engvall photo
Mickey Spillane photo
Markiplier photo

“[begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap outta me."”

Markiplier (1989) American YouTuber and Internet personality

Video game commentary, SuperHOT prototype (September 15, 2013)
Source: SuperHOT, Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier, September 15, 2013, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7qY7s1tCtU,
Source: SUPERHOT - an FPS where time moves only when you move, 2014, July 9, 2014 http://superhotgame.com,

John Scalzi photo
Andy Kessler photo

“The stock of the greatest company in the world is crap if every investor already thinks it is the greatest company in the world.”

Andy Kessler (1958) American writer

Part VI, Burst, Morgan Stanley Tech Conference 2001, p. 229.
Running Money (2004) First Edition

David Spade photo
Robert Crumb photo
Brian K. Vaughan photo

“I just make crap up more than anything else.”

Brian K. Vaughan (1976) American screenwriter, comic book creator

Ain't It Cool News interview

Basshunter photo

“The album is very different from the all the other albums today. First of all, the album was one year delayed because I wasn’t happy and every time I did an album it was unofficially finished. I had some time to listen to some new songs and plug into some music programs and discovered this new song and delayed the release for a month, because I wanted to update the new tracks to these new sounds I found… so then when I did that all the other songs sounded like crap compared to the new ones! So I said f*** this I need to reproduce the other ones as well. Then I scrapped a few songs and produced new ones. So to produce this album I pretty much produced maybe about 50 tracks and picked out the best of them. You know when you buy an album from a producer/artist, you kind of hear the same sound repeating in each song, you hear the same sound repeating, but this album is like every song is individual. Like you wont find two songs which have the same sound. Each song is completely different which I think kind of represents what I do because I produce everything and I love producing everything. Sometimes I’m in the mood to produce you know a dance song, sometimes I’m in the mood to produce an R&B song, it’s just interesting because I just want to show people that I can deliver to all ears.”

Guestlist interview with Ria Talsania (10 July 2013) https://guestlist.net/article/9219/catching-up-with-basshunter
Calling Time

Sandra Bullock photo

“Sandra Bullock on 'Gravity' Oscar Nom: 'I've Just Gotten Better at Not Picking Crap”

Sandra Bullock (1964) American actress and producer

As quoted in http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/sandra-bullock-gravity-oscar-nom-671771

Danny Tidwell photo

“I think you're talking crap.”

Danny Tidwell (1984) American dancer

Nigel Lythgoe's response to the above quote.
"Episode #3.12". So You Think You Can Dance. July 11, 2007. No. 12, season 3.
About

Charles Bukowski photo
Linus Torvalds photo
Michael Swanwick photo

“People will believe in just about any kind of superstitious crap nowadays.”

Michael Swanwick (1950) American science fiction author

Source: In the Drift (1985), Chapter 5, “Marrow Death” (p. 152)

David Letterman photo

“I may not be smart enough to debate you point-for-point on this, but I have the feeling about 60% of what you say is crap.”

David Letterman (1947) American comedian and actor

Source: To Bill O'Reilly, in discussion about the supposed War on Christmas, as quoted in "In Letterman appearance, O'Reilly repeated false claim that school changed 'Silent Night' lyrics" http://mediamatters.org/items/200601040009, Media Matters for America, (4 January 2006).

Chetan Bhagat photo
Chetan Bhagat photo

“I know, these Hindi movies are crap, but they do kind of take your mind away from the crap of real life like nothing else.”

Chetan Bhagat (1974) Indian author, born 1974

Source: Five Point Someone - What not to do at IIT! (2004), P. 37

Robert J. Sawyer photo
Kate Bush photo
Mike Tyson photo
James Howard Kunstler photo
Linus Torvalds photo

“I think Leopard is a much better system [than Windows Vista] … but OS X in some ways is actually worse than Windows to program for. Their file system is complete and utter crap, which is scary.”

Linus Torvalds (1969) Finnish-American software engineer and hacker

[linux.conf.au conference, http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/torvalds-pans-apples-os-x/2008/02/05/1202090393959.html, 2008-02-05]
2000s, 2008

“Smarmy, plastic, oily, greasy, unctuous, shallow, superficial, old-fashioned, superannuated, crap”

Bob Monkhouse (1928–2003) English entertainer

Summing up opinions of him
Obituary in The Independent http://web.archive.org/web/20100507114758/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/bob-monkhouse-549171.html

Rachel Whiteread photo

“We still have prostitutes standing on our corner, and people crapping round the back of buildings. The charms are still there.”

Rachel Whiteread (1963) British sculptor

On her home-studio in Bethnal Green, as quoted in "Still breaking the mould" by Gordon Burn in The Guardian (11 October 2005) http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1589344,00.html

Fiona Apple photo
Ben Croshaw photo
George S. Patton IV photo
Tommy Lee photo

“I don't want a fat mexican woman beating the crap out of my son.”

Tommy Lee (1962) American drummer

(When asked about getting a baby-sitter for his kids) http://www.marksfriggin.com/news00/12-18-00.htm.

Richard Rodríguez photo
RuPaul photo
Phil Brooks photo

“Punk: Hey, Jeff. Jeff, aren't you nervous sitting way up there so… high? Especially in the condition you're in, and by "condition", I mean that you're probably drunk right now, just like all these people here tonight. (Crowd boos) Yeah, that's something to be proud of, I mean, you'd have to be under the influence to stomach this "live in the moment" crap that you spew. What's living in the moment gotten you, Jeff? I know it got you a night in a hospital, and for what? The adulation of these people? One brief moment of attention? (Crowd chants "Hardy") You know, I don't know what's more pathetic—all these people hanging on your every word, waiting for the next pitiful example for you to set that they can lead, or you and your egotistical addiction to their cheers and support and adulation. Listen, listen to them, Jeff. They actually believe that you can beat me at SummerSlam. (Crowd cheers)
Jeff: So do I.
Punk: So does our general manager. Teddy Long's the guy that said TLC is your match. It's Jeff Hardy's match, everybody. They're right, it is your match. This TLC is your last match. I know what I have to accomplish to get everything I want. When I beat you at SummerSlam and I take back my World Heavyweight Title, it will validate everything I've said in the past. I will prove once and for all, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that straight edge is the right way, that straight edge means I'm better than you. Jeff, I have to get rid of you to teach these people the difference between right and wrong. I have to get rid of you to teach them how to say, "just say no." I have to get rid of you so they stop living in your moment, and they wake up, and they start living in my reality. Make no mistake about it, Jeff; there's no turning back from this point on. You can talk about the space from the top of that ladder to this mat, but from here on out, there's nothing left. At SummerSlam, I will hurt you, and I will remove you and the stain of all your bad examples from the WWE forever.
Jeff: Punk, you can't destroy me, you can't destroy what I've created over my ten years here. Kansas City's not gonna listen to you. You won't beat me at SummerSlam, Punk. I will prove that I'm better than you in my specialty: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs.
Punk: You're right, Jeff. You know what, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them, because you need them to enable you. You need them to justify your reckless behavior with their support and their cheers, just like they need you to somehow justify their reckless behavior, with their smoking and their drinking and their use of prescription medication. They try in vain to live vicariously through a man who, by way of his lifestyle, thinks he can fly.”

Phil Brooks (1978) American professional wrestler and mixed martial artist

Interrupting Jeff Hardy's promo from the top of a ladder. August 21, 2009.
Friday Night SmackDown

Irvine Welsh photo
Mandy Patinkin photo

“No one is going to beat the crap out of me more than me.”

Mandy Patinkin (1952) American actor and tenor singer

People, "Actor Mandy Patinkin Battles His Perfectionist Tendencies…" http://www.mandypatinkin.net/ARTICLES/mppeople89.html, 1989-05-08 by John Stark

Gregory Benford photo
Holly Johnson photo
Alan Sugar photo
Bill Engvall photo
Linus Torvalds photo

“There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.”

Linus Torvalds (1969) Finnish-American software engineer and hacker

<nowiki>Re: [GIT pull https://www.mail-archive.com/linux-kernel@vger.kernel.org/msg467322.html, x86 updates for 3.11</nowiki>, Torvalds, Linus, 2013-07-13, 2013-07-15]
2010s, 2013

Lucius Shepard photo
George Harrison photo

“Rap music is just computerised crap. I listen to Top of the Pops and after three songs I feel like killing someone.”

George Harrison (1943–2001) British musician, former member of the Beatles

Quoted in The Beatles — After the Break-up : In Their Own Words (1991) by David Bennahum, p. 54

Roger Ebert photo
Jim Breuer photo
Amanda Palmer photo

“I write a lot, but it's not all fantastic. There's plenty of terrible crap. We work on a few things at a time, let some things fall away, make changes.”

Amanda Palmer (1976) American punk-cabaret musician

Interview in Only Angels Have Wings (April 2004) http://onlyangels.free.fr/interviews/d/dresden_dolls.htm
Context: I write a lot, but it's not all fantastic. There's plenty of terrible crap. We work on a few things at a time, let some things fall away, make changes. We certainly have enough for the next album, which could take at least another year to come out.

Holden Karnofsky photo

“So one crazy analogy to how my morality might turn out to work, and the big point here is I don't know how my morality works, is we have a painting and the painting is very beautiful. There is some crap on the painting. Would I like the crap cleaned up? Yes, very much. That's like the suffering that's in the world today. Then there is making more of the painting, that's just a strange function. My utility with the size of the painting, it's just like a strange and complicated function. It may go up in any kind of reasonable term that I can actually foresee, but flatten out, at some point.”

Holden Karnofsky (1981) American nonprofit executive

In a conversation https://intelligence.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/01-16-2014-conversation-on-existential-risk.pdf with Luke Muehlhauser and Eliezer Yudkowsky, January 2014; part of this is quoted by Carl Shulman in "Population ethics and inaccessible populations" https://reflectivedisequilibrium.blogspot.com/2014/08/population-ethics-and-inaccessible.html
Context: So one crazy analogy to how my morality might turn out to work, and the big point here is I don't know how my morality works, is we have a painting and the painting is very beautiful. There is some crap on the painting. Would I like the crap cleaned up? Yes, very much. That's like the suffering that's in the world today. Then there is making more of the painting, that's just a strange function. My utility with the size of the painting, it's just like a strange and complicated function. It may go up in any kind of reasonable term that I can actually foresee, but flatten out, at some point. So to see the world as like a painting and my utility of it is that, I think that is somewhat of an analogy to how my morality may work, that it's not like there is this linear multiplier and the multiplier is one thing or another thing. It's: starting to talk about billions of future generations is just like going so far outside of where my morality has ever been stress-tested. I don't how it would respond. I actually suspect that it would flatten out the same way as with the painting.

Roger Waters photo

“This is the crap that our children are learningBut ooh, the tide is turning.”

Roger Waters (1943) English songwriter, bassist, and lyricist of Pink Floyd

"The Tide Is Turning (After Live Aid)", on Radio K.A.O.S. (1987)
Context: Who is the strongest, who is the best
Who holds the aces, the East or the West
This is the crap that our children are learningBut ooh, the tide is turning.