Andy Rooney Quotes (25 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

Andy Rooney: 25 quotes24 likes

Famous Andy Rooney Quotes

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.”

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."
~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.”

Andy Rooney

“Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.”

Andy Rooney

Source: Sincerely, Andy Rooney

“I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.”

Andy Rooney

“I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.”

Andy Rooney

Source: Sincerely, Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney Quotes about life

“I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.”

Andy Rooney

“I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”

Andy Rooney

“It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”

Andy Rooney

“I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then… You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then… You finish off as an orgasm.”

Andy Rooney

Variations of this piece have been misattributed to Andy Rooney, George Carlin, and Woody Allen. The original source is a variation on a piece by Sean Morey. ( "snopes.com: Andy Rooney on Everything", Snopes.com, 2012-09-09 http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp, ) <br class="br">Misattributed

“It's a sad day at 60 Minutes and for everybody here at CBS News. It's hard to imagine not having Andy around. He loved his life and he lived it on his own terms. We will miss him very much.”

Andy Rooney

Jeff Fager — quoted in CBS News, Andy Rooney dead at 92, November 5, 2011, CBS, October 31, 2013 http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57319150/andy-rooney-dead-at-92/, <br class="br">About

Andy Rooney Quotes about people

“I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things one at a time.”

Andy Rooney

[Andy Rooney, w:Andy Rooney, 9, Twofers, Years of Minutes, 2003, PublicAffairs, 978-1586482114]

“Ive had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I havent complained about anything lately. So tonight, for you complaint fans, I have a complaint.”

Andy Rooney

[Andy Rooney, w:Andy Rooney, 197, Labels, Years of Minutes, 2003, PublicAffairs, 978-1586482114]

“At the end of every television broadcast, the names of the people who worked on it are listed. Why, you may ask yourself sometimes, would so many people want to take credit for such a bad show? Well, its just like what's happened to the dollar. Credits in television suffer from inflation. There are more of them and they arent worth what they used to be, even on a good show.”

Andy Rooney

[Andy Rooney, w:Andy Rooney, 6, Credits, Years of Minutes, 2003, PublicAffairs, 978-1586482114]