“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
"Forbes" - Vol. 166, Page 156, de Bertie Charles Forbes - Forbes Inc., 2000
Henny Youngman: 18 quotes29 likes
Famous Henny Youngman Quotes
“When I read about the dangers of drinking, I gave up reading”
Variant: When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman Quotes
“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
“I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother”
101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman (1976). Brochure.. <br class="br">Source: Cited in: Essays of an Information Scientist, Vol:4, p.515-518, 1979-80, Current Comments #26, p. 516, June 30, 1980 PDF http://www.garfield.library.upenn.edu/essays/v4p515y1979-80.pdf
“My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.”
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
“My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.”
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
“My first Hollywood picture wasn't released, it escaped.”
Insurance Newsweek, volume 45 (1944), page 60
“Business was so bad the other night the orchestra was playing "Tea for One."”
Don't Put My Name on this Book (1976), p. 92 http://archive.org/stream/dontputmynameont00youn#page/92/mode/2up/search/%22tea+for+one%22
“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
“My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.”
"The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)
Take My Wife, Please!: Henny Youngman's Giant Book of Jokes (1999)
