Quotes about guys
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“Dude! said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!”

Rick Riordan book The Sea of Monsters

Source: The Sea of Monsters

“Death, especially violent death, will turn the meanest bastard in the world into a nice guy. Why is that?”

Laurell K. Hamilton book The Laughing Corpse

Source: The Laughing Corpse

Death, World

“Guys do ridiculous things for love." Adrian reached into his pocket and held up a pack of cigarettes. "Do you know how badly I want one of these right now? Yet I suffer, Rose. All for you.”

Richelle Mead book Spirit Bound

Source: Spirit Bound

Love, Suffering

“I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?”

Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author

Health, Food

“I can’t believe you grew up and ate a monkey. Worse, I can’t believe I let a guy who ate a monkey kiss my mouth.”
Honey, I kissed more than your mouth.”

Rachel Gibson (1961) American writer

Source: I'm In No Mood For Love

Kiss

“All right, big guy, down you go."

Oh, yeah. Bed. Bed was good.

"And look who's here. It's Nurse Vishous.”

Jessica Bird book Lover Eternal

Source: Lover Eternal

“Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it. Anything to do with fire, igniting things, exploding things, things with fuses, wicks, accelerants… Iggy's your man. It's one of those good/bad things.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: Maximum Ride The Angel Experiment

“Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.”

Rick Riordan The Mark of Athena

Source: The Mark of Athena

“Relationship Principle 9
Every guy knows he can find a girl who is simply satisfied with satisfying him. They are much more turned on by a woman who cares about her own pleasure as well.”

Sherry Argov (1977) American writer

Variant: Every guy knows he can find a girl who is simply satisfied with satisfying him. They are much more turnd on by a woman who cares about her own pleasures as well.
Source: Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart

Pleasure, Girl

“You know," Shane said twenty minutes later, "I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn't think I was the go-to guy for breaking and entering.”

Rachel Caine book Glass Houses

Source: Glass Houses

Feeling, Thinking

“You will never know the exquisite pain of the guy who goes home alone. Cause without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain't as sweet.”

Cameron Crowe (1957) Academy Award-winning American writer and film director

Source: Vanilla Sky

Pain, Home, Baby

“We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra…”

Chuck Palahniuk (1962) American novelist, essayist

“Adrian! You Used compulsion on that guy. That…. I mean, it's….."

"Awesome? Yeah, I Know”

Richelle Mead book The Golden Lily

Source: The Golden Lily

“Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: Angel

School, Understanding

“Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.”

Christopher Moore book A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

Women

“The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.”

Jim Butcher book White Night

Source: White Night

Home, Forgetting

“The good guys and bad guys aren’t as easy to tell apart as I used to think they were. You can’t look at someone with your eyes and take their measure.
You have to look with the heart.”

Karen Marie Moning (1964) author

Thinking, Heart

“What are you guys doing? If you anted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: Angel

“Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Feast of Fools

Reality

“Melbourne, I always knew you'd need to learn about this kind of thing. I 'd just kind of hoped you'd learn it on a real guy.”

Richelle Mead book The Fiery Heart

Source: The Fiery Heart

Hope, Learning

“There were drinks and food in full force, and some Moroi guy had a guitar out and was trying to impress girls with his musical skills—which were nonexistent. In fact, his music was so awful that he might have discovered a new way to kill Strigoi.”

Richelle Mead Blood Promise

Source: Blood Promise

Food, Music, Way, Girl

“Do you think…"
He raised his eyebrows. "Do I think what?"
"That Valentine might have drowned?"
"Never believe the bad guy is dead until you see a body," said Simon. "That just leads to unhappiness and surprise ambushes.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Ashes

Source: City of Ashes

Thinking, Dead

“In writing a novel, when in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.”

Raymond Chandler (1888–1959) Novelist, screenwriter

Variant: When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

“As the water pounded on my back, I reflected that I must be pretty simple. It didn't take much to make me happy. A long night with a dead guy had done the trick.”

Charlaine Harris book Dead to the World

Source: Dead to the World

Happiness, Water, Night, Dead

“It was so weird, because usually I was totally nervous talking to guys. But Eli was different. He made me want to say more, not less. Which was maybe not a good thing.”

Sarah Dessen book Along for the Ride

Source: Along for the Ride

“Nico studied his face – his sea-green eyes, his grin, his ruffled black hair. Somehow Percy Jackson seemed like a regular guy now, not a mythical figure. Not someone to idolize or crush on.”

Rick Riordan book The Blood of Olympus

Source: The Blood of Olympus

Study, Sea

“If funkytown was a trailerpark, this guy would be a double-wide.”

Maya Angelou (1928–2014) American author and poet

“Why is it that every time a girl says a guy is bothering her, it's fluffed off with oh, he just likes you, as if that makes it okay?”

Kelley Armstrong book The Summoning

Source: The Summoning

Girl, Time

“If I don't shut down my brain soon, my imagination will take off so far about what could be with this guy, that nothing will ever just be.-- Norah, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist”

Rachel Cohn (1968) American writer

Source: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Imagination

“Excuse me, have you seen Death? Big guy with black feathery wings? Likes to reap souls?”

Rick Riordan (1964) American writer

Source: Percy Jackson's Greek Gods

Death, Soul

“Okay, now you're starting to scare me," Wes says.
"No, scary is the way people can alter their voices on cue. Like your imitation of that creepy guy who lives at your house."
"You mean my dad?" he laughs.”

Laurie Faria Stolarz (1972) American writer

Source: Deadly Little Lies

People, Way, Housing

“Not into older guys, huh?" asked Adrian once we were alone.
"You're imagining things," I said. "Clearly, my stunning beauty has clouded your mind.”

Richelle Mead book Frostbite

Source: Frostbite

Beauty, Imagination

“Marriage is a big word for all guys,” Shane said. “You know that. It’s kind of an allergy. We get itchy and sweaty just trying to spell it, much less do it.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Last Breath

Marriage

“I guess Smart Seth is glad, he said reluctantly. But be careful. Idiot Seth is the guy to watch out for.”

Brandon Mull (1974) American fiction writer

Source: Grip of the Shadow Plague

“If you ever meet a guy and you fall in love with him, but because of some weird genetic mutation he doesn't seem to return the feeling?… Wear that dress.”

Ann Brashares book Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood

Source: Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood

Love, Feeling

“Some guys step on a rake in the dark, and get mad and go punch somebody. Others step on a rake in the dark and fall down laughing at themselves. I know which kind of guy I'd rather be. So do my friends.”

Spider Robinson book Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

Source: Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

Madness

“A guy in Greek armor drew his sword and charged, but slipped in a puddle of pina colada.”

Rick Riordan book The Sea of Monsters

Source: The Sea of Monsters

“Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.”

Douglas Adams book The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Variant: You're so unhip, it's a wonder your bum doesn't fall off.
Source: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life.”

Rick Riordan book The Throne of Fire

Source: The Throne of Fire

Life, Hate

“I stared at her. Maybe I wasn't the brightest guy in the world when it came to girls, but I was pretty sure Rachel had just dumped me, which was lame considering we'd never even been together.”

Rick Riordan book The Last Olympian

Source: The Last Olympian

World, Girl

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

Erica Jong (1942) Novelist, poet, memoirist, critic

Women, For women

“I can't fight.
I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.”

Woody Allen (1935) American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician

Cars, Fight

“Rule number three: Best friends always think you deserve the best guy even if the best guy barely knows you exist.”

Candace Bushnell book The Carrie Diaries

Source: The Carrie Diaries

Thinking

“How come you don't work fourteen hours a day? Your great-great-grandparents did. How come you only work the eight-hour day? Four guys got hanged fighting for the eight-hour day for you.”

Studs Terkel (1912–2008) American author, historian and broadcaster

Source: Touch and Go: A Memoir

Fight

“If the lot of you survives, Curran will flay the skin off your backs," Doolittle said.
"That's what I always love about you, Doctor." Raphael grinned. "You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Strikes

Love, Flowers

“I know you have it in you, Guy," Anne said suddenly at the end of a silence, "the capacity to be terribly happy.”

Patricia Highsmith book Strangers on a Train

Source: Strangers on a Train

Happiness, Silence

“He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.”

Greg Behrendt (1963) American comedian

Source: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Love, Family, Shoe

“To my wonderful readers. Sorry about that apology for that last cliffhanger. I’ll try to avoid cliffhangers in this book. Well, except for maybe a few small ones… because I love you guys.”

Rick Riordan book The Blood of Olympus

Source: The Blood of Olympus

Love, Books

“I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down
“There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Hate

“Maintenance is what you have to do just so you can walk out the door knowing that if you go to the market and bump into a guy who once rejected you, you won't have to hide behind a stack of canned food. I don't mean to be too literal about this.”

Nora Ephron (1941–2012) Film director, author screenwriter

Source: I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Food

“When I leaned a little too close to the doorway, my inner voice piped up, telling me not to be stupid. The guy with the bionic senses was better equipped for this.”

Kelley Armstrong The Awakening

Source: The Awakening

Stupidity, Sense

“Get up guys. We’ve got a visit to pay.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I am not hanging out with Blake Lazar again.”

Richelle Mead book Last Sacrifice

Source: Last Sacrifice

“Fifteen minutes later I was an expert. That's all you need. I think I was even getting the upper hand, which is very simple with a guy. Anything seems to turn them on.”

Melina Marchetta book Looking for Alibrandi

Source: Looking for Alibrandi

Thinking

“I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.”

George Carlin (1937–2008) American stand-up comedian

Drink

“I don't think he could ever be a serial killer. He's way too shy. That Ted Bundy guy, he was pretty outgoing, from what I heard. -Jess about Doug p. 107”

Meg Cabot (1967) Novelist

Source: When Lightning Strikes

Way, Thinking

“The look he was going for was Friendly Suburban Dad, because that’s what he was, but he suspected he’d achieved only
Cialis Guy.”

Lisa Scottoline (1955) American writer

Source: Every Fifteen Minutes

“You can party, but I better not catch you drunk. (Wulf)
(Chris rolled his eyes, then bent down to said to Cassandra’s stomach…)
Be wise, little guy, stay in there where Lord King Neurotic can’t kill all your fun. (Chris)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Kiss of the Night

“To have a girl two thousand miles away going to pieces over you, weeping at the mere memory of you, losing her appetite, losing herself and her self respect - well, that’s a trophy enough for a guy’s ego, huh?”

Jerry Spinelli book Love, Stargirl

Source: Love, Stargirl

Girl, Memory

“This is the part in the movie where that guy says, "Zombies? What zombies?" just before they eat his brains. I don't want to be that guy.”

Holly Black (1971) American children's fiction writer

Source: Kin

Parting

“I decided that giving a girl a ring when you're not in a serious relationship is sort of like giving a guy a blow job when you have no real feelings for him. It makes everything feel a little cheap. It cheapens the giver and the recipient.”

Emily Giffin (1972) American writer

Source: Baby Proof

Feeling, Girl

“But she's not, and I am left to wonder on my own: How does this work, the getting to know a new guy without revealing too much desperation for his undivided attention?”

Rachel Cohn (1968) American writer

Source: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

“Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won’t cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful.”

Donna Barr (1952) comic book author and cartoonist

Thinking, Tear, Sleep, Cry

“It can be exhausting eating a meal cooked by a man. With a woman, it's, Ho hum, pass the beans. A guy, you have to act like he just built the Taj Mahal.”

Deb Caletti (1963) American writer

Source: The Queen of Everything

Cooking

“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”

John Woods (1955) Irish long-distance runner

“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him….”

Christopher Moore book Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Source: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Perfection

“Anya, the minor goddess of Anarchy? A woman who had more balls than most men—because she’d cut them off the guys stupid enough to get in her way and kept them as souvenirs.”

Gena Showalter (1975) American writer

Source: The Darkest Seduction

Men, Stupidity, Way

“You could wear the same outfit every single day and no guy - who isn't gay - will notice.”

Maureen Johnson (1973) writer from the USA

Source: Suite Scarlett

“If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing,
because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.”

Greg Behrendt (1963) American comedian

Source: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Personality

“A guy can do far far worse than surrounding himself with people who restore his faith in humanity.”

David Levithan (1972) American author and editor

Source: Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

People, Faith

“She wanted me to betray you guys, and I was like, 'Pfft, right, I'm gonna listen to a face in the potty sludge'.”

Rick Riordan book The Lost Hero

Source: The Lost Hero

“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.”

Michael Thomas Ford (1968) American writer

Source: Suicide Notes

Imagination, Girl, Thinking, Parent

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”

Chelsea Handler book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Source: Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Drink

“Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don'tso," Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Fade Out

Parting

“A girl doesn't always want to go out, you know, Mr. Wind-Up Bird. Sometimes she feels like being nasty--like, if the guy's gonna wait, let him really wait.”

Haruki Murakami book The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

Source: The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

Feeling, Girl, Bird, Waiting

“We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”

Douglas Adams The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy pentalogy

Variant: and we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere … and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.
Source: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Secret, Intelligence