Quotes about dogs
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“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian

Cute, Books, Reading

“Three things know a secret-
First; the lady in a dream,
The dog that barks no warning,
And a maid that does not scream.”

Mercedes Lackey book By the Sword

Source: By the Sword

Secret, Dreams

“Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire.”

Charlaine Harris book Dead to the World

Source: Dead to the World

God

“Really, it was difficult to determine which I had most reason to fear—dogs, alligators or men!”

Solomon Northup book Twelve Years a Slave

Source: Twelve Years a Slave

Men, Fear

“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.”

Marie Corelli (1855–1924) British writer

Home, Cats, Night

“Where we live in the world
is never one place. Our hearts,
those dogged mirrors, keep flashing us
moons before we are ready for them.”

Naomi Shihab Nye (1952) American writer

Source: 19 Varieties of Gazelle: Poems of the Middle East

World, Heart

“They're powerful, those songs. At times they've been my only way back, the only door out of the dark, bad places the black dog calls home.”

Johnny Cash (1932–2003) American singer-songwriter

Source: Cash

Way, Home, Time

“If pinpointing God's presence were really that simple, then he supposed the beaches would be more crowded in the mornings. They would be filled with people on their own quests, instead of people jogging or walking their dogs or fishing in the surf.”

Nicholas Sparks book The Last Song

Source: The Last Song

God, People, Fish

“I'm a girl of extremes. When I love something, I'm like a puppy dog (without all the licking). When I'm cranky, I'm a wasp (like a whole hive of 'em). And when I'm angry, I'm a Mother Bear with a predator after her cubs: Dangerous.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: Fang

Love, Girl

“Everything I know, I learned from dogs.”

Nora Roberts (1950) American romance writer

Source: The Search

Learning

“When you walk a dog on a short leash, she's close enough to bite you.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Bleeds

“The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.”

James Thurber (1894–1961) American cartoonist, author, journalist, playwright

"An Introduction", The Fireside Book of Dog Stories (Simon and Schuster, 1943); reprinted in Thurber's Dogs (1955)
From other writings

Success

“Choosers will be beggars if the begging's not their choosing," said the Dog
"What does that mean?"
"I have no idea," said the Dog”

Garth Nix book Abhorsen

Source: Lirael

Idea

“Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it—no.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: The Angel Experiment

Waiting

“Do you know my dog's name?
[…]
"It is from an ancient word, kerberos. It means 'spotted.'"

I blinked. "You're a genuine Greek god. You're the Lord of the Underworld. And… you named your dog *Spot*?”

Jim Butcher book Skin Game

Source: Skin Game

God

“Men are like dogs," Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took up too much space on the bed, and they always went for the crotch.”

Lisa Kleypas (1964) American writer

Source: Smooth Talking Stranger

Men

“Sometimes you're sure dogs have some secret, superior intelligence, and other times you know they're only their simple, goofy selves.”

Deb Caletti (1963) American writer

Source: The Six Rules of Maybe

Secret, Intelligence, Time

“My little dog—a heartbeat at my feet.”

Edith Wharton (1862–1937) American novelist, short story writer, designer

Variant: My little old dog
a heart-beat
at my feet

“If dogs talked, one of them would be president by now. Everybody likes dogs.”

Dean Koontz (1945) American author

“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

Nora Ephron (1941–2012) Film director, author screenwriter

Source: I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Funny, For Parents, Children, Housing

“dogs and angels are not
very far apart”

Charles Bukowski book The People Look Like Flowers at Last

Source: The People Look Like Flowers at Last

Angels

“When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.”

Edward Abbey (1927–1989) American author and essayist

Friendship, For Friend, For Bestfriend, Problem

“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

Janet Evanovich book Hot Six

Source: Hot Six

Grandma

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring — it was peace.”

Milan Kundera (1929–2023) Czech author of Czech and French literature

As quoted in The Canine Hiker's Bible (2000) by Doug Gelbert, p. 8

Peaceful, Jealousy, Peace, Evil

“How funny are dogs?”

John Marsden book Tomorrow, When the War Began

Source: Tomorrow, When the War Began

“The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them.”

Stanley Coren (1942) American psychologist

Fear

“A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.”

Andrew Vachss (1942) American writer and lawyer

For Mother, Family, Personality

“Of course when you were running with the bottom dogs, what you mostly saw were paws, claws, and assholes.”

Stephen King book Doctor Sleep

Source: Doctor Sleep

“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.”

Dean Koontz (1945) American author

Source: A Big Little Life: A Memoir of a Joyful Dog

Life

“Dogs are a gift to mankind. They are happy and joyful and loyal by nature. They are pure, positive energy and teach by example. That is all that's required of them.”

Alyson Nöel book Radiance

Source: Radiance

Nature, Happiness

“Dogs wait for us faithfully.”

Marcus Tullius Cicero (-106–-43 BC) Roman philosopher and statesman

Waiting

“Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.”

Joe Gores (1931–2011) American writer

Age

“Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday.”

Thornton Wilder (1897–1975) American playwright and novelist

As quoted in "The Notation of the Heart" by Edmund Fuller, in The American Scholar Reader (1960) edited by Hiram Hayden and Betsy Saunders

Love

“The pair of them were staring at the computer screen like two dogs watching animal planet: very focused, but incapable of turning up the volume or changing the channel.
-Manny and Butch”

Jessica Bird (1969) U.S. novelist

Source: Lover Unleashed

Change, Animals

“Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.”

Roger A. Caras (1928–2001) American photographer

Love, Faith, Universe

“I have a little dog who likes to nap with me.
He climbs on my body and puts his face in my neck.
He is sweeter than soap.
He is more wonderful than a diamond necklace,
which can't even bark…”

Mary Oliver (1935–2019) American writer

“I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.”

Merrill Markoe (1948) American writer

Sadness

“It's hard not to immediately fall in love witha dog who has a good sense of humor.”

Kate DiCamillo book Because of Winn-Dixie

Source: Because of Winn-Dixie

Love, Sense

“She wanted more, more slang, more figures of speech, the bee's knees, the cats pajamas, horse of a different color, dog-tired, she wanted to talk like she was born here, like she never came from anywhere else”

Jonathan Safran Foer book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Source: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Color, Cats, Bee, Horse

“Oh, but I like my geese. Like cats, they can't be told what to do, and like dogs, they're loyal, and like people, they talk every chance they get.”

Shannon Hale The Goose Girl

Source: The Goose Girl

People, Cats, Chance

“My father, I never knew, except for this one time when he threw a ball and told me to go fetch it.

"Dad," I said. "Am I a dog?"

"Lydia," he said. "I apologize.”

Jaclyn Moriarty (1968) Australian writer

Source: The Year of Secret Assignments

Time

“Dogs make sense. They understand hierarchy and the need to cooperate. They come when you call them. A cat though—a cat will take your number and get back to you. Maybe. If he’s in a good mood.”

Eileen Wilks Mortal Danger

Source: Mortal Danger

Cats, Mood, Understanding, Sense

“Screw reality. It don’t feed my dog. It don’t make my Porsche payments. It don’t get me laid. Bullshit does that…and I like it that way. (Leo)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Dark Side of the Moon

Way, Reality

“They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for ones country. But in modern war there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason.”

Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) American author and journalist

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. Sweet and glorious it is to die for our country. ~ Horace in Odes, Book 3, Ode 2, Line 13, as translated in The Works of Horace by J. C. Elgood
Notes on the Next War (1935)

War, Country

“You can never tell about a person by guessing… that's why language was invented. Otherwise, we'd all be like dogs, sniffing each other to find out where we stood.”

Alice Hoffman book Practical Magic

Source: Practical Magic

Personality

“Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.”

Ernest Thompson Seton (1860–1946) British/ American author, artist, and a founder of the scouting movement

Money

“Do you know why the nose of the bull dog is sloped backwards? So it can keep on breathing without ever letting go.”

Winston S. Churchill (1874–1965) Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

“… some people coddle their own afflictions the way others spoil small pedigreed dogs with cans of pate.”

Lionel Shriver book We Need to Talk About Kevin

Source: We Need to Talk About Kevin

People, Way, Affliction

“If you have a dog, you will most likely outlive it; to get a dog is to open yourself to profound joy and, prospectively, to equally profound sadness.”

Marjorie Garber (1944) American academic

Sadness, Joy

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”

Steve Martin (1945) American actor, comedian, musician, author, playwright, and producer

Love, Money

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.”

Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian

This may be original with Groucho, but the Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/category/jim-brewer/ mentions the earliest report found in a 1958 issue of Boy's Life magazine where it is attributed to Jim Brewer. <br class="br">Misattributed <br class="br">Variant: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. <br class="br">Source: The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

Funny, For Bestfriend, Books, Reading

“If you don’t have a dog--at least one--there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.”

Vincent Van Gogh (1853–1890) Dutch post-Impressionist painter (1853-1890)

Life

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

Water

“I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.”

Diana Wynne Jones book Castle in the Air

Source: Castle Series, Castle in the Air (1990), p. 31.
Context: "Maybe," he said, "you should be more careful about whom you let your dog bite."
"Not I!" said Jamal. "I am a believer of free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so."

Hate

“To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs.”

Karl Kraus (1874–1936) Czech playwright and publicist

Half-Truths and One-And-A-Half Truths (1976) <br class="br">Context: There is no doubt that a dog is loyal. But does that mean we should emulate him? After all, he is loyal to people, not to other dogs. http://books.google.com/books?id=T9V0j2sfPpUC&q=%22there+is+no+doubt+that+a+dog+is+loyal+but+does+that+mean+we+should+emulate+him+after+all+he+is+loyal+to+people+not+to+other+dogs%22&pg=PA109#v=onepage

“If you added it up, without her there was nothing--but with her even the simplest of gestures of walking a bird dog in the desert, or selecting the ingredients for a meal for two rather than one took on an ineffable charm.

(from the novella,)”

Jim Harrison (1937–2016) American novelist, poet, essayist

Source: Legends of the Fall

Bird

“I like dogs
Big dogs
Little dogs
Fat dogs
Doggy dogs
Old dogs
Puppy dogs
I like dogs
A dog that is barking over the hill
A dog that is dreaming very still
A dog that is running wherever he will
I like dogs.”

Margaret Wise Brown (1910–1952) American children's writer and editor

Source: The Friendly Book

Dreams

“The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.”

Carrie Underwood (1983) American country music singer

From The More Boys I Meet from the album, Carnival Ride (2007). [Misattributed: performer not credited as writer.]

Love, Boy

“All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers, is contained in the dog. If one could but realize this knowledge, if one could but bring it into the light of day, if we dogs would but own that we know infinitely more than we admit to ourselves!”

Franz Kafka (1883–1924) author

"Investigations of a Dog"
The Complete Stories (1971)
Source: The Great Wall of China and Other Stories

Question, Knowledge, Light

“It seems to me that the good lord in his infinate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable- hope, jokes, and dogs. But the greatest of these was dogs.”

Robyn Davidson (1950) Australian writer

Source: Tracks: A Woman's Solo Trek Across 1700 Miles of Australian Outback

Life, Wisdom, Hope

“Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we're still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants.”

Margaret Atwood book The Blind Assassin

Source: Der blinde Mörder

Memory

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”

Roger A. Caras (1928–2001) American photographer

For Mother, Life

“There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog”

Konrad Lorenz (1903–1989) Austrian zoologist, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine in 1973.

Faith

“You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself.”

Emily Dickinson (1830–1886) American poet

“It was a day as different from other days as dogs are from cats and both of them from chrysanthemums or tidal waves or scarlet fever.”

John Steinbeck book The Winter of Our Discontent

Source: The Winter of Our Discontent

Cats

“It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.”

P.G. Wodehouse book My Man Jeeves

Source: My Man Jeeves

Feeling, Time

“Histories are more full of Examples of the Fidelity of dogs than of Friends.”

Alexander Pope (1688–1744) eighteenth century English poet

Letter to Henry Cromwell (19 October 1709).
Source: Letters of the Late Alexander Pope, Esq. to a Lady. Never Before Published

History

“It's hard to say. Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods. And sometimes they just haven't found their special place in life. And sometimes they're dogs from hell and must be destroyed.”

Charles Addams (1912–1988) Cartoonist

Life, People, Hell, Childhood

“He does not rule us. No one can rule us. No one can rule anyone who does not first agree to the ruling." She smiled a trace at Aeriel and patted the little camp dog, which was whining for more tidbits. "One must rule oneself.”

Meredith Ann Pierce book The Darkangel

Source: The Darkangel

Smile

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”

Camille Paglia (1947) American writer

As quoted in Sex from Plato to Paglia : A Philosophical Encyclopedia (2006) by Alan Soble, Volume 2, p. 378, ISBN 9780313334252

Sex

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

Rita Rudner (1953) American comedian

Thinking

“It's just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn't it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”

John Grogan (1958) American journalist

Source: Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog

Love, People

“You know how cats do. They hide to die. Dogs come home.”

Thomas Harris Red Dragon

Source: Red Dragon

Home, Cats

“Like a dog!”

Franz Kafka book The Trial

he said, it was as if the shame of it should outlive him.
Source: The Trial (1920), Ch. 10, end of the book

“I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.”

Laurie Notaro American writer

Source: The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life

“Oh, I never kid about Artemis. I promised her I’d sit here and do nothing, so here I am doing nothing. Much like a really tall, bored guard dog. Personally, I’d rather be throwing myself onto an electric fence- be about the same, I think. (Acheron)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Devil May Cry

Thinking, Personality

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.”

Dean Koontz book False Memory

Source: False Memory

Soul, Heart

“i held it up, and tried to channel happy dog thoughts toward Cerberus- Alpo commercials, cute little puppies, fire hydrants.”

Rick Riordan book The Lightning Thief

Source: The Lightning Thief

Happiness

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.”

Samuel Butler (1835–1902) novelist

Dogs
The Note-Books of Samuel Butler (1912), Part XIV - Higgledy-Piggledy

Pleasure, Fools

“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”

Jean Ferris (1939–2015) American children's writer

Source: Once Upon a Marigold

“The Rudderless World is not shaped by vague metaphysical Forces. It is not God who kills the Children. Not Fate that butchers them or Destiny that feeds them to the Dogs…. It´s us. Only us.”

Alan Moore book Watchmen

Source: Watchmen

God, Fate, Children, World

“I couldn’t leave Total behind.”
“Total?” Iggy asked.
“That’s what his card said,” Angel explained.
“Totally a mutant dog who will probably turn on us and kill us in our sleep,” Fang said.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: The Angel Experiment

Angels, Sleep

“It’s good.’ She chirps the last bit as if that were all to say about a book: It’s good or it’s bad. I liked it or I didn’t. No discussions of the writing, the themes, the nuances, the structure. Just good or bad. Like a hot dog.”

Gillian Flynn book Gone Girl

Source: Gone Girl

Books

“It didn't matter if I got bitten by a dog or I ripped my pants on the fence post or I poked myself in the eye with a tree branch that I was crawling over, it was all about the shortcut. My whole life I took the shortcut, and I ended up lost.”

Anthony Kiedis book Scar Tissue

Source: Scar Tissue

Life, Tree

“The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.”

Jennifer Weiner (1970) American writer

Source: Little Earthquakes

Stupidity

“Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.”

David Sedaris book Me Talk Pretty One Day

Source: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Here is a list of fearful things:
The jaws of sharks, a vulture's wings,
The rabid bite of the dog's of war,
The voice of one who went before.
But most of all the mirror's gaze,
which counts us out our numbered days.”

Clive Barker Days of Magic, Nights of War

Abarat, Book One
Source: Days of Magic, Nights of War

War, Fear

“If it is true that cowardice is the most grave vice, then the dog, at least, is not guilty of it.”

Mikhail Bulgakov book The Master and Margarita

Book Two in 'Time to Go! Time to Go!', B/O, here Woland is speaking to the Master about Pontius Pilate
Source: The Master and Margarita (1967)
Context: They have read your novel... and they said only one thing, that, unfortunately, it is not finished. So I wanted to show you your hero. He has been sitting here for about two thousand years, sleeping, but, when the moon is full, he is tormented, as you see, by insomnia. And it torments not only him, but his faithful guardian, the dog. If it is true that cowardice is the most grave vice, then the dog, at least, is not guilty of it. The only thing that brave creature ever feared was thunderstorms. But what can be done, the one who loves must share the fate of the one who is loved.

“Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real”

Lisi Harrison book The Clique

Source: The Clique

“Andrea: "…. I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.”
Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix."
Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Bleeds

Idea, Thinking