Quotes about kid
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“Number eight, the silver one, belongs to Artemis. She vowed to be a maiden forever. So of course, no kids. The cabin is, you know, honorary. If she didn't have one, she'd be mad.”

Rick Riordan book The Lightning Thief

Source: The Lightning Thief

Madness

“You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding.”

Brad Thor (1969) American writer

Source: Black List

Help

“The universe, I’d learned, was never, ever kidding. It would take whatever it wanted and it would never give it back.”

Cheryl Strayed book Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

Variant: The universe, I'd learned, was never, ever kidding. It would take whatever it wanted and it would never give it back.
Source: Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

Learning, Universe

“So let that be a lesson, kids who get an F in math. Ellen says you’re doing the right thing. You’re welcome, parents.”

Ellen DeGeneres (1958) American stand-up comedian, television host, and actress

Source: Seriously... I'm Kidding

Parent

“It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.”

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

Money, Parent

“Also consider that someday, when you’re dead and rotted, kids with their baby teeth will sit in their time-geography class and laugh about how stupid you were.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Rant

Source: Rant

Stupidity, Time, Baby, Dead

“Dr. Barney stared at me, his lips puckered. What was he so serious about? Who hasn’t thought about killing themselves, as a kid? How can you grow up in this world and not think about it?”

Ned Vizzini book It's Kind of a Funny Story

Source: It's Kind of a Funny Story

World, Thinking

“The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.”

John Updike (1932–2009) American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic

The New Yorker (March 29, 1976)

People, Sense

“Librarians save lives: by handing the right book, at the right time, to a kid in need”

Judy Blume (1938) American children's writer

Books, Time

“I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba)
I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Infinity

“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”

Bill Watterson (1958) American comic artist

The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes
Source: The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury

Hate

“Kids are never the problem. They are born scientists. The problem is always the adults. They beat the curiosity out of the kids. They out-number kids. They vote. They wield resources. That's why my public focus is primarily adults.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson (1958) American astrophysicist and science communicator

Comment on "I am Neil deGrasse Tyson -- AMA", November 13, 2011 http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/mateq/i_am_neil_degrasse_tyson_ama/c2zg3g6, <br class="br">2010s <br class="br">Variant: Kids are never the problem. They are born scientists. The problem is always the adults. They beat the curiosity out of the kids. They out-number kids. They vote. They wield resources. That's why my public focus is primarily adults.

Problem

“I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.”

Mindy Kaling book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Source: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Parent, Time

“Kids who don't eavesdrop on adult conversations are doomed to a childhood of ignorance.”

Kelley Armstrong (1968) Canadian writer

Source: Men of the Otherworld

Childhood

“Kid. You just made the last mistake of your life.'
'God,' I said. 'I.”

Jim Butcher book Small Favor

Source: Small Favor

Life, God

“Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.”

Rick Riordan The Mark of Athena

Source: The Mark of Athena

Baby

“I felt like a kid standing in the world's greatest video arcade without any quarters, unable to do anything but walk around and watch the other kids play.”

Ernest Cline book Ready Player One

Source: Ready Player One

World

“Nobody's cut out for this town," Shane said. "Nobody sane anyway."
"Says the kid who came back."
"Yeah, kind of proves my point.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Ghost Town

“That sounds terrific. Just you, your comatose wife, your shell-shocked son, and you daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Bones

Clary, pg. 444
Source: The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones (2007)

Love, Hate, Family, Daughters

“You tell a kid he doesn't like to read, and he'll believe you”

Gabrielle Zevin (1977) American writer

Source: The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry

Reading

“Baby?"
She perched beside him in the chair. "You're kidding me right?"
"I was trying it out, no?"
"no," she said firmly
Simon & Clary”

Cassandra Clare book City of Ashes

Source: City of Ashes

Baby

“When I was a little kid I thought like a little kid, but now I'm five I know everything.”

Emma Donoghue Room

Source: Room (novel) (2010)

“In a city this size, every year, hundreds of husbands walk away. Kids leave home. Wives escape. People disappear.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Haunted

Source: Haunted

People, Home

“I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage.”

Roald Dahl (1916–1990) British novelist, short story writer, poet, fighter pilot and screenwriter

Books, Learning, Passion

“Parenting is really just a matter of tracking, of hoping your kids do not get so far ahead you can no longer see their next moves.”

Jodi Picoult My Sister's Keeper

Source: My Sister's Keeper

Hope, Parent

“Children live in the same world we do. To kid ourselves that we can shelter them from it isn't just naive it's a vanity.”

Lionel Shriver book We Need to Talk About Kevin

Source: We Need to Talk About Kevin

Children, World

“Living with kids is like living in a frat house… everything's broken, nobody sleeps, and there's alot of throwing up”

Ray Romano (1957) American stand-up comedian

on Everybody Loves Raymond

Sleep, Housing

“Want to know the best thing about teaching? Seeing that moment when a kid discovers his or her gift. There's no feeling on earth like it.”

Stephen King book 11/22/63

Source: 11/22/63

Feeling

“The baby!’ Nico grinned, which hurt his face muscles. He wasn’t used to making that expression. ‘Mellie and the kid are all right?”

Rick Riordan book The Blood of Olympus

Source: The Blood of Olympus

Hurt, Baby

“Little kids are amazing. They seem able to adjust to anything.”

Judy Blume Tiger Eyes

Source: Tiger Eyes

“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”

Charlotte Gray (1948) Canadian historian

World, Sister

“Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you--
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.”

Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist

Love, Happiness, Sadness

“Disappear where?" You know what they say: Curiosity killed the mutant bird kid. But I couldn't help myself.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: School's Out—Forever

Bird, Help

“It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back "Yeah. You want pepperoni?"
-Maximum Ride”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: School's Out—Forever

People, Thinking

“Christophe, with the careful tone of an adult telling a kid not to pet the nice foaming-rabid pooch.”

Lilith Saintcrow (1976) American writer

Source: Betrayals

“It's unfair how the kids who are starving for attention tended to be so annoying that people had no inclination to give it to them.”

Lauren Myracle book Shine

Source: Shine

People

“Books were this wonderful escape for me because I could open a book and disappear into it, and that was the only way out of that house when I was a kid.”

Dean Koontz (1945) American author

Books, Way, Housing

“Life likes to be taken by the lapel and told, "I'm with you kid. Let's go!”

Maya Angelou (1928–2014) American author and poet

Life

“Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.”

Eddie Izzard (1962) British stand-up comedian, actor and writer

Stripped (2009)

“She talked to me like I was just like any other student, not a kid in a wheelchair.”

Sharon M. Draper book Out of My Mind

Source: Out of My Mind

“The kids kept walking, moving through the Henley's halls like a tide, but when Kat turned to leave, she walked in the opposite directions. She wasn't an ordinary kid, after all.
Katarina Bishop followed no one.”

Ally Carter book Heist Society

Source: Heist Society

“When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.”

Brian P. Cleary (1959) American writer

Source: You Oughta Know By Now

“Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus?
Athena's answer : What an interesting idea… No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt.”

Rick Riordan (1964) American writer

Idea, Question

“… why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

“I guess it wasn't everyday they see a yellow lifeboat with no engine going a hundred knots an hour, manned by three kids.”

Rick Riordan book The Sea of Monsters

Source: The Sea of Monsters

“I haven't laughed so much over anything since the hogs ate my kid brother.”

Dashiell Hammett book Red Harvest

Source: Red Harvest

“And then I had a thought, clear as day. I would never be somebody's favorite again. I would never be a kid again, not in the same way. That was all over now. She was really gone.”

Jenny Han (1980) American writer

Source: It's Not Summer Without You

Way

“Those kids aren't dumb. But the people who run these schools want to make sure they don't get smart: they are really teaching the kids to be slaves.”

James Baldwin If Beale Street Could Talk

Source: If Beale Street Could Talk

People, School

“There are worse things than finding your wife and child dead. You can watch the world do it. You can watch your wife get old and bored. You can watch your kids discover everything in the world you've tried to save them from. Drugs, divorce, conformity, disease. All the nice clean books, music, television. Distraction. These people with dead children, you want to tell them, go ahead. Blame yourself. There are worse things you can do to the people you love than kill them. The regular way is just to watch the world do it. Just read the newspaper.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Lullaby

Source: Lullaby (2002), Chapter 3

Love, Children, People, Books

“Acheron: You're really not right, are you?
Nick: Yeah. I know. It was all the paint chips I ate as a kid. They were good, but chromosomally damaging”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Variant: You’re really not right, are you?
Yeah, I know. It was all the paint chips I ate as a kid. They were good, but chromosomally damaging. (Nick)
Source: Infinity

Painting

“I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!"

"Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!”

Jill Shalvis (1963) American writer

Source: Simply Irresistible