Quotes about kid
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“If by 'miracle kids' you mean innocent test-tube babies whose DNA was forcibly unraveled and merged with two percent avian genes, yeah, I guess that would be us," I said. "Because it's a miracle that we're not complete nut jobs and mutant disasters.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: The Final Warning

Baby

“Hands down, the biggest thrill is to get a letter from a kid saying, I loved your book. Will you write me another one?”

Kate DiCamillo book Because of Winn-Dixie

Source: Because of Winn-Dixie

Love, Books

“Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”

Christopher Moore book A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

Love, Hate, People, Parent

“Kids, the fiction is the truth inside the lie, and the truth of this fiction is simple enough: the magic exists.”

Stephen King book It

It (1986)

Truth, Lie

“But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.”

Barbara Kingsolver Pigs in Heaven

Source: Pigs in Heaven

For Mother

“Boys always get the best eyelashes; it's like some kind of cosmic law. And half-breed kids get some kind of extra help there from genetics, too.”

Lilith Saintcrow book Strange Angels

Source: Strange Angels

Law, Boy, Help

“Kids think with their brains cracked wide open; becoming an adult, I've decided, is only a slow sewing shut.”

Jodi Picoult My Sister's Keeper

Source: My Sister's Keeper

Thinking

“When kids look up to great scientists the way they do to great musicians and actors, civilization will jump to the next level”

Brian Greene (1963) American physicist

Way

“If a little kid ever asks you just why the sky is blue, you look him or her right in the eye and say, "It's because of quantum effects involving Rayleigh scattering combined with a lack of violet photon receptors in our retinae."”

Philip Plait book Bad Astronomy

Source: Bad Astronomy (2002), p. 47
Source: Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions and Misuses Revealed, from Astrology to the Moon Landing "Hoax"

“Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

“Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won't have as much censorship because we won't have as much fear.”

Judy Blume (1938) American children's writer

As quoted in Good Advice (1993) by William Safire, p. 125

Children, Fear, Parent, Reading

“Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip… And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."
Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week.”

Rick Riordan book The Lightning Thief

Source: The Lightning Thief

Game, Singing

“And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.”

Jerry Seinfeld (1954) American comedian and actor

Source: Halloween

“People want to believe they know other people. Parents want to believe they know their kids. Wives want to believe they know their husbands.”

Gillian Flynn book Gone Girl

Source: Gone Girl

People, Parent

“If you don't have doubts you're either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.”

Frederick Buechner (1926) Poet, novelist, short story writer, theologian

Source: Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC (1973)

Faith

“Kids don’t know about best sellers. They go for what they enjoy. They aren’t star chasers and they don’t suck up. It’s why I like them.”

Maurice Sendak (1928–2012) American illustrator and writer of children's books

Star

“Oh, I never kid about Artemis. I promised her I’d sit here and do nothing, so here I am doing nothing. Much like a really tall, bored guard dog. Personally, I’d rather be throwing myself onto an electric fence- be about the same, I think. (Acheron)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Devil May Cry

Dogs, Thinking, Personality

“I really do think that if for one week in the United States we saw the true face of war, we saw people's limbs sheared off, we saw kids blown apart, for one week, war would be eradicated. Instead, what we see in the U. S. media is the video war game.”

Amy Goodman (1957) American broadcast journalist, syndicated columnist, investigative reporter and author

War, People, Game, Thinking

“Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug.”

Neal Shusterman (1962) American novelist

Source: Challenger Deep

Dead

“After a while the middle-aged person who lives in her head begins to talk to her soul, the kid.”

Anne Lamott (1954) Novelist, essayist, memoirist, activist

Source: Joe Jones

Age, Soul, Personality

“Don’t let the past ruin your future. (Acheron)
Meaning what, oh great Yoda? (Kyrian)
You take care of the kid. I’ll take care of your patrol tonight. I could use the target practice. (Acheron)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Infinity

Past, Future

“Relax, having kids is years away. But can you imagine? Your brains, my charm, our collective good looks… then add in the usual physical abilities dhampirs get.

It's really not even fair to everyone else.”

Richelle Mead book The Fiery Heart

Source: The Fiery Heart

Imagination

“You think my kids just popped out of the ground?”

Kim Harrison (1966) Pseudonym

Source: Dead Witch Walking

Thinking

“Censors never go after books unless kids already like them. I don’t even think they know to go after books until they know that children are interested in reading this book, therefore there must be something in it that’s wrong.”

Judy Blume (1938) American children's writer

Children, Books, Thinking, Reading

“This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Feast of Fools

Beer

“I hear a guttural sound followed by a weak sigh and look back at the bodies.
"I'm going to kill the kid," Barrons says faintly.
Ryodan makes a burbling sound like a bloody laugh. I don't think he even has the parts left to laugh with. "Get in line.”

Karen Marie Moning (1964) author

Source: Iced

Thinking, Parting

“Sure, he had a wife and fifty-four kids, but he looked like a college freshman. A yummy college freshman majoring in Oh-my-god-I-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.”

Kim Harrison (1966) Pseudonym

Source: A Fistful of Charms

God

“Paul Gauguin asked, "whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?”

Bill Watterson (1958) American comic artist

“Calvin: But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!
p182”

Bill Watterson (1958) American comic artist

Source: The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

“Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slits somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Slays

Parent

“Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record.”

Janet Evanovich Four to Score

Source: Four to Score

Men, Cars, Home, Daughters

“Death is a great tragedy…a profound loss…I don’t accept it…I think people are kidding themselves when they say they are comfortable with death.”

Ray Kurzweil (1948) Author, scientist, inventor, and futurist

Death, People, Thinking, Loss

“So softly Lizzy has to lean over to hear me, I say, 'I can't face the world until I know why I'm here.'
You're kidding me.'
I shake my head vehemently. 'No. I need to figure out my purpose. Until I do, what's the use of getting up?”

Wendy Mass Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

Source: Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

World

“Hey Baby.
Baby? You're kidding me, right?
I was trying it out. No?
No.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Ashes

Source: City of Ashes

Baby

“We laughed about all the kids who believed in the Santa Clause myth and got nothing but a bunch of cheap plastic toys. 'Years from now, when all the junk they got is broken and long forgotten,' Dad said, ' you'll still have your stars.”

Jeannette Walls book The Glass Castle

Source: The Glass Castle

Star

“Back when I was on my first assignment as a seeker, I was way out in Arizona. Brought in this kid named Clarisse.”

“Clarisse?”

“Sibling of yours,” Hedge said. “Ares kid. Violent. Rude. Lots of potential.”

Rick Riordan (1964) American writer

Way, Siblings

“like a kid kicked out of class. humiliated and free.”

Janet Fitch (1955) American writer

Source: Paint it Black

“How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife.”

Neal Shusterman (1962) American novelist

Source: UnWholly

Forgetting

“I mean, what do people talk about when they're married?" "Their kids, I guess." "Maybe that's all they have in common.”

Rita Mae Brown book Rubyfruit Jungle

Source: Rubyfruit Jungle

People

“Teachers were both blamed for everything that went wrong with kids and turned to for their every salvation. This dual role of scapegoat and savior was downright messianic but even Jesus was probably paid better.”

Lionel Shriver book We Need to Talk About Kevin

Source: We Need to Talk About Kevin

Teachers

“Note to self: If you’re trying not to have kids, don’t marry a lady who is the Titan of motherhood.”

Rick Riordan (1964) American writer

Source: Percy Jackson's Greek Gods

“This is the Wilderness School. 'Where the Kids are animals”

Rick Riordan (1964) American writer

School, Animals

“Life is only precious because it ends, kid. Take it from a god. You mortals don't know how lucky you are”

Rick Riordan book The Son of Neptune

Source: The Son of Neptune

Life, God

“When I was a little kid, I realized that if you say any word over and over fast enough, it loses all it's meaning.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Ashes

Source: City of Ashes

“The image isn't reality. Even though we're used to thinking that way alot of the time. We show a kid a picture of a dog and say 'This is a doggie' - but it's not. It's just an image.”

L.J. Smith The Forbidden Game

Source: The Forbidden Game

Dogs, Way, Thinking, Reality

“Real, sane, mature love—the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school—is not based on infatuation but on affection and respect.”

Elizabeth Gilbert book Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Source: Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Love, School

“Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.”

Jordan Sonnenblick After Ever After

Source: After Ever After

Light

“Mrs. Cole was a perfect democrat. She hated all kids equally.”

Stephen King book It

Source: It

Hate, Perfection

“Us," Peter corrects. "I did it for us." He links our fingers together. "It's you and me, kid.”

Jenny Han book P.S. I Still Love You

Source: P.S. I Still Love You

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”

Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)

Source: I Am America

Dogs, Christ

“I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me.”

Stephen Chbosky book The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Source: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Happiness, Hope

“It is a violation of trust to use your kids as caulking for the cracks in you.”

Anne Lamott (1954) Novelist, essayist, memoirist, activist

Source: Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son's First Son

“It was sad, the imbalance of it all. Why do kids assume so much from one parent and hold the other to a lower, looser standard?”

Mitch Albom For One More Day

Source: For One More Day

Sadness, Parent

“A kid under a tablecloth insists he’s a ghost. A table
underneath a tablecloth is, I guess, like the rest of us,
only pretending to be invisible.”

Richard Siken (1967) American poet

“I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.”

Kelley Armstrong book Stolen

Source: Stolen

Parent

“One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline…. But also every single day a kid needs a break.”

Anne Lamott (1954) Novelist, essayist, memoirist, activist

Source: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

Children

“Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids.”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Infinity

Waiting

“The truth is, what I learned this year is that life is hard… Good people die for no reason. Little kids get sick. The people that are supposed to love you end up leaving.”

Jennifer Weiner (1970) American writer

Source: Certain Girls

Love, Life, People, Truth

“Either the kid was naturally hyper or he was hopped up on enough caffeine to give a heart attack to a water buffalo.”

Rick Riordan book The Lost Hero

Source: The Lost Hero

Nature, Water, Heart

“I didn’t want to know that the monster that lived under your bed when you were a kid not only really is there but used to have a few beers with your dad.”

Robin McKinley book Sunshine

Source: Sunshine

Beer

“I think on my next birthday, I'm going to buy her a present. I think that should be the tradition. The kid gets gifts from everybody, and he buys one present for his mom since she was there, too. I think that would be nice.”

Stephen Chbosky book The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Source: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Moms, Birthday, Thinking

“Even if he doesn’t eat, he knows the cookies. I’ll bet his mother stuffed him full as a kid. (Tory)
Not really. My mom wasn’t the Betty Crocker kind. (Acheron)
(Not unless it involved napalm or plagues.)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Acheron

Moms

“It's okay," said Adrian breezily. He rested his arm casually on the table. "I don't really need a job or extra money. After Rose and I get married, the kids and I'll just live off of her guardian paycheck.”

Richelle Mead book Spirit Bound

Source: Spirit Bound

Money

“Even as a kid, my memories are of books taking me out of myself.”

Oprah Winfrey (1954) American businesswoman, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist

Books, Memory

“I will make Maggie safe. If the world burns because of that then so be it. Me and the kid will roast some marshmallows.”

Jim Butcher book Changes

Source: Changes

World

“We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Fallen Angels

Books, Thinking, Evil, Parting

“Honestly, darling," she said. "Do you even look in a mirror before you walk out the door? Your hair's a mess."

He dodged her as she reached toward his head. "Are you kidding? I spend hours in front of the mirror toit look this way.”

Richelle Mead book Spirit Bound

Source: Spirit Bound

Way

“If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?”

Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author

“When we did art with the kids, the demons would lie down.”

Anne Lamott (1954) Novelist, essayist, memoirist, activist

Source: Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

Lie, Art

“I know how this feels: the tightening of the chest, the panic, the what-have-I-done-wait-I-was-kidding. Eating disorders linger so long undetected, eroding the body in silence, and then they strike. The secret is out. You're dying.”

Marya Hornbacher book Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

Source: Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

Secret, Feeling, Silence, Waiting

“I don't really need a job or extra money. After Rose and I get married, the kids and I'll just live off of her guardian paycheck.”

Richelle Mead (1976) American writer

Money

“Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.”

Bill Hicks (1961–1994) American comedian

Variant: I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.

People

“You should stop and listen to yourselves sometimes. 'We're practically adults, let us run wild.' 'We're only kids, leave us alone.'… You can't have it both ways.”

Ally Carter (1974) American writer

Source: United We Spy

Way

“Some morning while your eating breakfast and you need something new to think about, though, you might want to ponder the fact that you see your kids across the table not as they are but as they once were, about three nanoseconds ago.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson (1958) American astrophysicist and science communicator

Source: Death by Black Hole - And Other Cosmic Quandaries

Thinking

“Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.”

Garrison Keillor book Leaving Home: A Collection of Lake Wobegon Stories

Leaving Home‎ (1987), p. 19
Source: Leaving Home: A Collection of Lake Wobegon Stories

Parent

“I don't think anyone ever remembers what they were really like as kids. Adults think they do, but they don't. Photos and videos don't capture the real you, or bring back to life the person you used to be. You have to return to the past to do that.”

Darren Shan book Sons of Destiny

Source: Sons of Destiny

Life, Photo, Thinking, Past

“Are you the cursed kid Nemesis mentioned?" Leo asked. "But you're a girl."
"You're a girl," said the girl.
"Excuse me?”

Rick Riordan The Mark of Athena

Source: The Mark of Athena

Girl

“Suddenly it was obvious to Connor why they don't teach it. Once education was restructured and corporatized, they didn't want kids knowing how close they came to toppling the government. They didn't want kids to know how much power they really had.”

Neal Shusterman (1962) American novelist

Source: UnWholly

Education

“Kid, you might just annoy me into killing you.”

Karen Marie Moning (1964) author

Source: Iced

“Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.”

Matt Groening (1954) American cartoonist

Forgetting

“I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: School's Out—Forever

“It's like a kid standing at the window watching the rain.”

Haruki Murakami book Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

Source: Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

“Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake — you know, to send the right message to kids.”

Bill Maher book New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

"Valentine's Day, that great state holiday" in The Boston Globe (14 February 2004) http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2004/02/14/valentines_day_that_great_state_holiday <br class="br">Source: New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

People, Law, Birthday

“So you just… left?'

Zach huffed. 'All the cool kids are doing it.”

Ally Carter Out of Sight, Out of Time

Source: Out of Sight, Out of Time