Dorothy Parker quotes

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Dorothy Parker

Birthdate: 22. August 1893
Date of death: 7. June 1967
Other names: Dorothy Parkerová

Dorothy Parker was an American poet, writer, critic, and satirist based in New York; she was best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th-century urban foibles.

From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary works published in such magazines as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed when her involvement in left-wing politics resulted in her being placed on the Hollywood blacklist.

Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker". Nevertheless, both her literary output and reputation for sharp wit have endured.

Quotes Dorothy Parker

„I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.“

—  Dorothy Parker

Variant: I've never been a millionaire but I know I'd be just darling at it.

„If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.“

—  Dorothy Parker

Man and the Gospel (1865) by Thomas Guthrie "and you may know how little God thinks of money by observing on what bad and contemptible characters he often bestows it."
“We may see the small Value God has for Riches, by the People he gives them to.” -- Alexander Pope (1727).
Misattributed
Variant: If you want to know what the Lord God thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it.

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„I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.“

—  Dorothy Parker

Variant of:
I wish I could drink like a lady.
“Two or three,” at the most.
But two, and I’m under the table—
And three, I'm under the host.
The Harlequin, Volume 2, 1959, University of Virginia (page ? http://books.google.com/books?id=zdFKAAAAYAAJ&q=%22under+the+table%22+%22under+the+host%22)
Perhaps attributed due to “One more drink and I'd have been under the host.” (see above).
“ Martini Madness: Dorothy Parker didn’t write the famous quatrain about martinis that’s always attributed to her. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/drink/features/2013/martini_madness_tournament/sweet_16/dorothy_parker_martini_poem_why_the_attribution_is_spurious.html”, Troy Patterson, Slate, April 8, 2013
Misattributed
Variant: One martini. Two at the most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host!
Source: The Collected Dorothy Parker

„What fresh hell is this?“

—  Dorothy Parker

"If the doorbell rang in her apartment, she would say, 'What fresh hell can this be?' — and it wasn't funny; she meant it." You might as well live: the life and times of Dorothy Parker, John Keats (Simon Schuster, 1970, p124). Often quoted as "What fresh hell is this?" as in the title of the 1987 biography by Marion Meade, "Dorothy Parker: What Fresh Hell Is This?".
Variant: What fresh hell can this be?
Source: The Portable Dorothy Parker

„Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.“

—  Dorothy Parker

"But the One on the Right" in The New Yorker (1929)
Context: That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

„You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.“

—  Dorothy Parker

Parker's answer when asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence?, as quoted in You Might as well Live by John Keats (1970).
Source: You Might as Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker

„Brevity is the soul of lingerie.“

—  Dorothy Parker

Caption written for Vogue 1916
Source: While Rome Burns

„Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Etiam egestas wisi a erat. Morbi imperdiet, mauris ac auctor dictum.“

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