Quotes about bathroom

A collection of quotes on the topic of bathroom, going, likeness, time.

Quotes about bathroom

“He was a close friend of Zakir Husain, the third President of India. It was a coincidence and a tribute to their friendship that both occupied the highest position of the land, died in harness of heart failure and collapsed in the same bathroom of the Rashtrapathi Bhavan.”

Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed (1905–1977) the fifth President of India and a politician

Source: Presidents of India, 1950-2003, P.108

Failure, Friendship, Heart

“The first time I felt I was famous was when I went to the movies with my mom. I had gone to the loo, and someone in the bathroom said in a very loud voice, "Girl in stall No. 1 were you in "Mystic Pizza?"”

Julia Roberts (1967) American actress and producer

I paused and I said, yeah that was me.
People Magazine 8/22/99

Girl, Moms, Time

“I kidnap children from bathrooms
I eat the children for breakfast
They were so young
Yum Yum Yum”

Adam Sandler (1966) American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer

The Chanukah Song.

Children

“And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate.”

Dodie Smith book I Capture the Castle

Source: I Capture the Castle

Hate

“And just then Damon stepped out of the coat closet, and at the same time Aunt Maggie tripped him neatly and said, “Bathroom door beside you,” and picked up a vase and hit the rising Damon over the head with it. Hard.”

L.J. Smith (1965) American author

Source: Nightfall

Time

“Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.”

Augusten Burroughs Possible Side Effects

Source: Possible Side Effects

“When you sit down to write, write. Don't do anything else except go to the bathroom, and only do that if it absolutely cannot be put off.”

Stephen King (1947) American author

“What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom.”

Chuck Palahniuk book Survivor

Source: Survivor

Forgetting

“I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.”

Ned Vizzini book It's Kind of a Funny Story

Source: It's Kind of a Funny Story

People, World, Peace, Time

“Oh my gods, when do you not sport wood? There are bathrooms in the back, so go burp the worm or whatever.--Regin”

Kresley Cole American writer

Source: Dreams of a Dark Warrior

God, Sport

“Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go."
"Ooh, me, too," Eve said.
The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it.
"What? It's what girls do. Get over it.”

Rachel Caine (1962) American writer

Source: Ghost Town

Girl, Boy

“Did you really think I was too fragile to know what Deryn was?"

"Fragile?" Volger looked about. "I hadn't thought so, but now I find you brooding in a bathroom. This doesn't speak well of your sturdiness.”

Scott Westerfeld book Goliath

Source: Goliath

Thinking

“Love dries up, I thought
as I walked back to the
bathroom, even faster
than sperm.”

Charles Bukowski (1920–1994) American writer

Love

“I'd made water shoot out of the bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.”

Rick Riordan book The Lightning Thief

Variant: I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing...
Source: The Lightning Thief

Understanding, Water

“How are you? How is your wonderful bathroom? How are the books you read and the things you think? Your dogs and their lives? The weather? Your feelings?”

Anne Sexton (1928–1974) poet from the United States

Source: Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters

Books, Dogs, Feeling, Thinking

“normal person's weekly chore list:
1. clean kitchen.
2. clean bathroom.
3. clean entire rest of domicile.
cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list:
1. don't get peanut butter on sheets.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Personality

“The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”

Arthur C. Clarke (1917–2008) British science fiction writer, science writer, inventor, undersea explorer, and television series host

As quoted in The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners (2004) by Geoff Tibballs, p. 264
2000s and attributed from posthumous publications

“I gotta go to the bathroom," Emby mumbles.
"You should have thought of that before you left," says Hayden, putting on his best mother voice. "How many times do we have to tell you? Always use the potty before climbing into a shipping crate.”

Neal Shusterman book Unwind

Source: Unwind

Time

“As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.”

Janet Evanovich Hard Eight

Source: Hard Eight

God, Housing

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

Dogs, Water

“The second bathroom's downstairs - that's kind of the emergency backup bathroom when Shane's in there moussing his hair for like an hour or something…."
"" Shane yelled from behind the closed door.”

Rachel Caine book Glass Houses

Source: Glass Houses

“I can’t for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. You know how if you turned on a faucet in your sink to wash your hands, the idea of leaving the bathroom without turning it off is insane? That’s how I am about ignoring delicious food.”

Mindy Kaling book Why Not Me?

Source: Why Not Me?

Life, Food, Idea

“Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.”

Janet Evanovich book One for the Money

Source: One for the Money

Smile, Appearance, Night

“Desire is like fog on a bathroom mirror -- its presence incites you to wipe the mirror, and see yourself clearly again.”

Vera Nazarian (1966) American writer

Source: The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

“The bathroom mirror has not budged, the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff they say and looks me in the eye- says do you prefer the easy way? No? Well ok then, dont cry.”

Ani DiFranco (1970) musician and activist

Truth, Way, Cry

“I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.”

Jen Lancaster (1967) American writer

Feeling

“I kind of have to go to the bathroom," Aria said woozily.
Ezra smiled. "Can I come?”

Sara Shepard Pretty Little Liars

Source: Pretty Little Liars

Smile

“There are women in my closet, hanging on the hangers. a different woman for each suit, each dress, each pair of shoes. I hoard clothes. My makeup spills from the bathroom drawers, and there are different women for different lipsticks.”

Marya Hornbacher (1974) American journalist

Women, Shoe, Clothes

“All the kids from daycare are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no you can't go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go?
The f**k to sleep.”

Adam Mansbach book Go the Fuck to Sleep

Source: Go the Fuck to Sleep

Hell, Sleep

“Dudes," He said, "Do not follow other dudes to the bathroom."

Isabelle sighed. "Latent homosexual panic will do you in every time”

Cassandra Clare book City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Fallen Angels

Time

“When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.”

Janet Evanovich book Lean Mean Thirteen

Source: Lean Mean Thirteen

School, Boy

“Everybody needs a seashell in her bathroom to remind her the ocean is her home.”

Sue Monk Kidd book The Secret Life of Bees

Source: The Secret Life of Bees

Home

“Jesus, you've got a death wish."
"Right now I have a bathroom-and-sleep-somewhere safe wish, kid.”

Lilith Saintcrow book Strange Angels

Source: Strange Angels

Death, Sleep

“Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn)
I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)”

Sherrilyn Kenyon (1965) Novelist

Source: Dark Side of the Moon

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”

Jasper Fforde book One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

Source: One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

Shoe

“What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded.
Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Fallen Angels

“But I've swallowed my pride before, that's for sure. I'm practically lined with my mistakes on the inside like a bad-wallpapered bathroom.”

Barbara Kingsolver The Poisonwood Bible

Source: The Poisonwood Bible

“I always end up in the bathroom, doing his hair.”

Apolo Anton Ohno (1982) American short track speed skating competitor

Yuki Ohno, Apolo's dad and hair stylist Price, S.L. (2002) "Launch of Apolo" http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_online/news/2002/02/13/launch_of_apolo/ Sports Illustrated (accessed May 24, 2007) About

“I made, for a London television company a programme called 26 Bathrooms … which was about the ways in which people behaved in their bathrooms. It was about where people put the soap on one level, or the colour of the bathroom curtains, the acoustics, about whether you sang in the bath, and it was structured very simply on the alphabet. We had a man and a woman who arrived one by bus, one by bike, to come and demonstrate for me, in front of the camera, how a jacuzzi operated. I asked both of them to take their clothes off because obviously you don't get into a bath with your clothes on. They hesitate, but eventually their dressing gowns came off and they got into the bath. They had never met one another before. Six weeks later I got an invitation from these people that I had brought together so peculiarly in this jacuzzi -- they were planning to get married! I understand that now they have three children.”

Peter Greenaway (1942) British film director

From an interview in Art and Design, no. 49
Interviews

Children, People, Way, Understanding

“"Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

God

“(Television) With men or boys at home, your bathroom needs cleaning every day. (Sylvia) Not if you bolt the door.”

Nicole Hollander (1939) Cartoonist

Source: Sylvia cartoon strip, p. 75

Men, Home, Boy

“This morning he’d discovered the bathroom light on, its lustre wasted in daylight.”

Amit Chaudhuri book A New World

A New World (2000)

Light

“Al Gore could really pollute a bathroom … Just look at the guy. If someone doesn't take away his pork 'n' beans, he's bound to get another one of those 'gut feelings' and mistake his own greenhouse gas production for science!”

Rachel Marsden (1974) journalist

Toronto Sun column cited in Fox's Ann Coulter 2.0 http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/03/29/marsden/index.html. Salon.com.

Guy, Feeling, Science

“No, it doesn't affect my morale. Because life must go on. I would pick up a paper or a derogatory article and stick it in my bathroom or my desk and see it every morning. I look at it as something that has to be overcome- (On his reaction to the abuse and ridicule in the Press).”

Amitabh Bachchan (1942) Indian actor

Quotable quotes by Amitabh Bachchan.

Life

“Who is this man taking a crap in my bathroom!?”

Kerry Jackson

Radio From Hell (October 11, 2005)

“Seven thirty-nine, more than three hundred miles to the north and east, Jack Reacher climbed out of his motel room window. One minute earlier, he had been in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. One minute before that, he had opened the door of his room to check the morning temperature. He had left it open, and the closet just inside the entrance passageway was faced with mirrored glass, and there was a shaving mirror in the bathroom on a cantilevered arm, and by a freak of optical chance he caught sight of four men getting out of a car and walking toward the motel office. Pure luck, but a guy as vigilant as Jack Reacher gets lucky more times than the average.”

Lee Child book Echo Burning

Echo Burning, Ch. 1 (2001).

Men, Cars, Guy, Chance

“Does Mary Poppins have an orgasm? Does she go to the bathroom? I assure you, she does.”

Julie Andrews (1935) British actress, singer, author, theatre director, and dancer

The New York Times (14 March 1982) http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B02EED7153BF937A25750C0A964948260&sec=&pagewanted=all

“The stately homes of England we proudly represent,
We only keep them up for Americans to rent.
Tho' the pipes that supply the bathroom burst
And the lavat’ry makes you fear the worst
It was used by Charles the First (quite informally),
And later by George the Fourth on a journey north,
The state apartments keep their historical reknown,
It's wiser not to sleep there in case they tumble down;
But still if they ever catch on fire
Which with any luck they might,
We'll fight for the stately homes of England.”

Noel Coward (1899–1973) English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer

The Stately Homes of England from Operette (1937).

Fear, Home, Sleep, Fight

“The 'wemon' is a shy creature and bathrooms offer it comfort by reminding it of its native Sweden! Try to lure it out with a few styrofoam packing peanuts and scratch it gently behind the ears.”

Ben Croshaw (1983) English video game journalist

5 October 2005
Fully Ramblomatic

“Your teachers are always telling you [high school students] to behave like adults. I wonder if they'd like it if you did. You may be loud and disorganized, but you're very docile compared to adults…. Imagine the reaction of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being told they had to ask permission to go the bathroom, and only one person could go at a time.”

Paul Graham (1964) English programmer, venture capitalist, and essayist

"What You'll Wish You'd Known", January 2005

School, Imagination, Teachers, Time

“She staggers over to the bathroom door and grabs the edge of it to balance herself and blood starts running down her legs in thin rivulets and when she lifts up the robe we both can see her underwear soaked with blood and she pulls it off, panicking, and suddenly a huge gush of blood expels itself from beneath the robe, splashing all over the bathroom floor.She gasps, a thick noise comes out of her throat and she doubles over, grabbing her stomach, then she screams. Looking surprised and still clutching her stomach, she vomits will staggering backwards, collapsing onto the bathroom floor. There are strands of tissue hanging out of her.”

Bret Easton Ellis book Glamorama

Glamorama (1998)

“Male privilege' is assuming one has the right to occupy any space or person by whatever means, with or without permission. It's a sense of entitlement that's unique to those who have been raised male in most cultures - it's notably absent in most girls and women. Male privilege is not something that's given to men in this culture; it's something that men take. It's not that women don't have the ability to have and wield this privilege; some do. It's that in most cases, this privilege is withheld from them culturally and emotionally. Male privilege is woven into all levels of the culture, from unearned higher wages to more opportunities in the workplace, from higher quality, less expensive clothing to better bathroom facilities. Male privilege extends into sexual harassment, rape, and war. Combine male privilege with capitalism (which rewards greed and acquisition) and the mass media (which, owned by capitalists, highlights only the reward of acquisition and makes invisible its penalties), and you have a juggernaut that needs stopping by any means. Male privilege is not the exclusive province of men; there are some few women who have a degree of this horrifying personality trait. Male privilege is, in a word, violence.”

Kate Bornstein (1948) American author, playwright, performance artist, and gender theorist

Source: Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us (1995), p. 108

Women, Men, War, Penalty

“Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?”

Tom Coburn (1948) Medical doctor, politician

GOP Senate candidate in Oklahoma speaks of 'rampant' lesbianism in schools http://www.nctimes.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/article_9ff48ab7-2233-50c1-8a13-b1b6b715f7b0.html, August 31, 2004.

School, Girl, Thinking

“I was so sentimental about you I'd break any one's heart for you. My, I was a damned fool. I broke my own heart, too. It's broken and gone. Everything I believe in and everything I cared about I left for you because you were so wonderful and you loved me so much that love was all that mattered. Love was the greatest thing, wasn't it? Love was what we had that no one else had or could ever have? And you were a genius and I was your whole life. I was your partner and your little black flower. Slop. Love is just another dirty lie. Love is ergoapiol pills to make me come around because you were afraid to have a baby. Love is that quinine and quinine and quinine until I'm deaf with it. Love is that dirty aborting horror that you took me to. Love is my insides all messed up. Its half atheters and half whirling douches. I know about love. Love always hangs up behind the bathroom door. It smells like Lysol. To hell with love. Love is you making me happy and then going off to sleep with your mouth open while I lie awake all night afraid to say my prayers even because I know I have no right to any more. Love is all the dirty little tricks you taught me that you probably got out of some book. All right. I'm through with you and I'm through with love. Your kind of picknose love.”

Ernest Hemingway book To Have and Have Not

Helen Gordon to her husband Richard Gordon in Ch. 21
To Have and Have Not (1937)

Love, Life, Lie, Books

“Do you suppose Latin American writers, trying to mix literary modernism with revolutionary politics, resent our blue-eyed exploitation of their continent as a sort of compost heap of the libidinal and the symbolic? Aren't D. H. Lawrence, Graham Greene, Robert Stone and Paul Theroux imperialists? What do black Africans think of Conrad, Bellow, Updike and Edgar Rice Burroughs? Why don't the white guys look for the heart of darkness in their own bathrooms?”

John Leonard (1939–2008) American critic, writer, and commentator

"The Heroine: A Contraption of Attitudes" http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C06E4DF103BF932A15750C0A964948260&scp=30&sq=, The New York Times (21 March 1982)

Guy, Thinking, Heart

“While reading the Times of India each morning, my father spares a minute for the cartoon by R. K. Laxman. While my mother is, like a magician, making untidy sheets disappear in the bedroom and producing fresh towels in the bathroom, or braving bad weather in the kitchen, my father, in the extraordinary Chinese calm of the drawing-room, is dmiring the cartoon by R. K. Laxman, and, if my mother happens to be there, unselfishly sharing it with her. She, as expected, misunderstands it completely, laughing not at the joke but at the expressions on the faces of the caricatures, and at the hilarious fact that they talk to each other like human beings.”

Amit Chaudhuri (1962) contemporary Indian-English novelist

Afternoon Raag (1993)

Time, Reading, Drawing, Weather

“People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!”

Lewis Black (1948) American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic and actor

The White Album (2000)

People, Feeling, Time

“To the people in the bathroom: How's it going in there?”

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian

Do You Believe in Gosh?

People

“It's not that transgender people are going to go and molest children. It's that once you say men can go into women's bathrooms — men who are out shopping with their little daughters and don't have mommy to bring her in there. It's not that the trans are going to molest them, it's that a child molester now has the right to go into that bathroom.”

Ann Coulter (1961) author, political commentator

Real Time with Bill Maher https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax3wHnYGDVQ (May 6, 2016) 2016

Women, Men, Children, People

“[In response to this question by Bill Moyers: What do you see happening to the idea of dignity to human species if this population growth continues at its present rate? ] "It's going to destroy it all. I use what I call my bathroom metaphor. If two people live in an apartment, and there are two bathrooms, then both have what I call freedom of the bathroom, go to the bathroom any time you want, and stay as long as you want to for whatever you need. And this to my way is ideal. And everyone believes in the freedom of the bathroom. It should be right there in the Constitution. But if you have 20 people in the apartment and two bathrooms, no matter how much every person believes in freedom of the bathroom, there is no such thing. You have to set up, you have to set up times for each person, you have to bang at the door, aren't you through yet, and so on. And in the same way, democracy cannot survive overpopulation. Human dignity cannot survive it. Convenience and decency cannot survive it. As you put more and more people onto the world, the value of life not only declines, but it disappears. It doesn't matter if someone dies.”

Isaac Asimov (1920–1992) American writer and professor of biochemistry at Boston University, known for his works of science fiction …

Interview by Bill Moyers on Bill Moyers' World Of Ideas (17 October 1988); transcript http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/print/pdfs/woi%20asimov1.pdf (page 6) - audio (20:12) http://www.pbs.org/moyers/faithandreason/media_players/asimovwoi_audio.html General sources

Life, People, World, Way

“I believe the kids could mop the floor and clean up the bathroom and get paid for it and it would be OK.”

Newt Gingrich (1943) Professor, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives

Iowa fundraiser dinner, quoted in * 2011-12-01
Newt Gingrich expands on his support for child labor
Paul
West
Los Angeles Times
http://articles.latimes.com/2011/dec/01/nation/la-na-1202-gingrich-child-labor-20111202
suggesting poor children be given paid jobs in the schools they attend
2010s

“Miss Twye was soaping her breasts in the bath
When she heard behind her a meaning laugh
And to her amazement she discovered
A wicked man in the bathroom cupboard.”

Gavin Ewart (1916–1995) English poet

"Miss Twye", line 1, from Poems and Songs (1939)

“Murali is really struggling out there, he looked like Heather Mills McCartney making her way to bed from her en suite bathroom fielding down at fine-leg.”

Ben Dirs journalist

England v Sri Lanka, 2007-04-04, BBC http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/6521515.stm,

Way

“And why is it "homophobic" for Senate Republicans to look askance at sex in public bathrooms? Is the Times claiming that sodomy in public bathrooms is the essence of being gay? I thought gays just wanted to get married to one another and settle down in the suburbs so they could visit each other in the hospital.”

Ann Coulter (1961) author, political commentator

"Cruising While Republican" (5 September 2007) http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/printer_friendly.cgi?article=206. 2007

Sex, Time

“Every time my nose gushed blood, I felt like a little boy who'd wet his pants. I jumped out of the chair, pressed a handkerchief against my face, and hustled toward the nearest bathroom […] How red the blood looked against the whiteness of the porcelain sink, I thought. How vividly imagined that color was, how aesthetically shocking. The other fluids that came out of us were dull in comparison, the palest of squirts. Whitish spittle, milky semen, yellow pee, green-brown mucus. We excreted autumn and winter colors, but running invisibly through our veins, the very stuff that kept us alive, was the crimson of a mad artist—a red as brilliant as fresh paint.”

Paul Auster book Oracle Night

Paul Auster, Oracle Night, New York: Henry Holt and Company, pp. 41-42.
Oracle Night (2003)

Color, Imagination, Boy, Autumn

“On the bright side, maybe sending men in dresses into women's bathrooms will reduce number of women in our fighting forces.”

Ann Coulter (1961) author, political commentator

Twitter
2017-07-17
Twitter
https://twitter.com/anncoulter/status/886802136448847872
2017

Women, Men, Fight

“You can’t just take kids off the streets, put them in a hall, and expect them to know how to react…. During my first season, while I was conducting a youth concert, one kid went through a plate glass window and two bathrooms were totally destroyed…”

Henry Mazer (1918–2002) American conductor

As quoted in Rosenberg, Deena and Rosenberg, Bernard (1979). The Music Makers, New York: Columbia University Press, 1st ed., pg. 326, ISBN 0231039530.
Then-Chicago Symphony Orchestra Associate Conductor Henry Mazer and director of its youth concerts in March 1975 on Youth Musical Education in the Chicago Public Schools.

Youth, Season

“These are things I find enchanting and miraculous. I don’t have to be at the Grand Canyon to appreciate the way the world works, I can see that in reflections of light in my bathroom.”

John D. Carmack (1970) American computer programmer, engineer, and businessman

Referring to how he, after many years immersed in the science of graphics, had gained a stronger appreciation of the real world instead of getting detached from it, as he would see a few bars of light on the wall and think, Hey, that’s a diffuse specular reflection from the overhead lights reflected off the faucet, Quoted in David Kushner, Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created an Empire and Transformed Pop Culture Epilogue, p. 234.

World, Way, Light

“They're photographs by Adam Fuss. He's an artist. They are beautiful, artistic photos - more silhouettes than anything else. It's not like, "Hey, Mom and Dad are naked, come check it out!" But if I go to the bathroom and my kid walks in, I'm not going to be like, "Oh my God! Close the door!"”

Heidi Klum (1973) German model, television host, businesswoman, fashion designer, television producer, and actress

They see their parents naked all the time. We are not ashamed.
Admitting that there are nude photographs of herself and Seal hanging in their bedroom and bathroom. Quoted by Jennifer Weiner in InStyle, February 2010.

God, Beauty, Photo, Moms

“And me I'm in the bathroom
crying out my eyelids because it's hard to be a man
when you're scared, just like a little kid.”

Conor Oberst (1980) American musician

Saturday as Usual
A Collection of Songs Written and Recorded 1995-1997 (1998)

Cry

“Don't ever get between a pregnant woman and the bathroom door; it don't matter if the sister's saved, she'll hurt you in Jesus' name! She'll be saying 'I pray for you in a minute.'</nowiki”

Mike Warnke (1946) Evangelical Christian minister

Stuff Happens (album) (1985)

Sister, Hurt

“Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.”

George V of the United Kingdom (1865–1936) King of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Emperor of India

Attributed

Chance

“On summer evenings, before bathtime, my dad used to pick me up by the ankles and swing me round and round! Then one arm and one leg! Like an aeroplane - Wheeeee! We trashed that bathroom.”

David Baboulene (1960) UK author

Articles

Summer

“I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.”

Andy Roddick (1982) US tennis player

After being being asked how he felt of his own play, Wimbledon Final 2004. Source: Piers Newbery (2004) " Federer fights back to retain title http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/3865037.stm news.bbc.co.uk, July 4, 2004

“I eased him into his new bed [beneath the floorboards] … A week later, I wondered whether his body had changed at all or had started to decompose. I disinterred him and pulled the dirt-stained youth up onto the floor. His skin was very dirty. I stripped myself naked and carried him into the bathroom and washed the body. There was practically no discoloration and his skin was pale white. His limbs were more relaxed than when I had put him down there.”

Dennis Nilsen (1945–2018) British serial killer

As quoted by Brian Masters (2011), Killing for Company, Random House, p. 113, ISBN 1446428737

Youth, Change

“[T]here is an inverse correlation between the cleanliness of a bathroom and my 3-year-old daughter's need to move her bowels.”

Ayelet Waldman (1964) American- Israeli writer

Salon.com column http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/waldman/2005/04/11/baby_lust/

Daughters

“I now began to collect pubic hair, which I figured was a much safer way to go. I’d look for pubic hair in every bathroom after the girls showered, and in my mind’s eye, I’d try to match up each hair with each girl, all the while imaging her beautiful, luscious, wet, hairy, good-feeling bush. I mean, this was the summer that our pool area just seemed to be full of girls all the time. I was quickly becoming a pubic hair expert”

Victor Villaseñor (1940) American writer

Crazy Loco Love: A Memoir (2008)

Beauty, Way, Feeling, Girl

“I would rather blow a guy in the bathroom at White Castle in between sliders…because I'm romantic!”

Kathy Griffin (1960) American actress and comedian

Straight To Hell (2007)

Guy

“I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.”

Grover Norquist (1956) Conservative Lobbyist

Interview on NPR's Morning Edition, May 25, 2001 http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1123439 2001

“This is a “come and take it” moment for Texas parents. It seems clear to me that these bathroom edicts violate the Texas’ Education Code. I believe the Attorney General agrees with me. We will not let Obama force this insanity on Texas schools. During the 2017 legislative session, I intend to pass legislation to assure that common sense policies prevail. The parents of Texas and I believe all of America will not be bought by the president’s 30 pieces of silver.”

Dan Patrick (politician)

Op-Ed: Obama’s Transgender Directive a “Come and Take It” Moment for Texas Parents https://www.ltgov.state.tx.us/2016/05/20/op-ed-obamas-transgender-directive-a-come-and-take-it-moment-for-texas-parents/ (May 20, 2016)

Education, School, Parent, Sense

“kummel and have deep conversations about Plato and Kant while listening to classical music. Or she would spend the entire morning in the bathtub, with bubble-bath up to her chin, reading Proust. If you wanted to talk to her you had to do it in the bathroom.”

Joan Vollmer (1923–1951) Common-law wife of William S. Burroughs

Joan's idea of a good time was to go to Child's at 110th Street and Broadway and sip
About

Music, Reading

“[Issam al-]Sartawi and I are sitting in a small restaurant on the Boulevard St. Germain. After the main course, he excuses himself. 'I have to go to the bathroom. Keep an eye on my briefcase.' His attaché case - the kind Israelis call James Bond cases - stands under the table. After a few minutes he comes back, takes his seat and bursts out laughing. 'If I told anyone of my friends that I left a briefcase full of PLO secrets in the care of a Zionist, they wouldn't believe me', he says. 'If I tell anyone of my friends that a PLO terrorist put an attaché case under my table and went away, and I remained there, they'd think that I was crazy', I reply. We laugh and order a dessert.”

Uri Avnery (1923–2018) Israeli writer

My Friend, the Enemy (1986) - page 128

Secret, Thinking

“When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don't go. I'm too worried to go. I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go.”

Jerome David Salinger book The Catcher in the Rye

The Catcher in the Rye (1951)

Fools

“Perhaps some little boys consumed with curiosity to watch their maiden aunts in the bathroom later become inveterate sociologists. This is quite uninteresting. What interests us is the curiosity that grips any sociologist in front of a closed door behind which there are human voices.”

Peter L. Berger (1929–2017) Austrian-born American sociologist

Source: Invitation to Sociology (1963), Chapter 1

Boy

“[man leans into doorway of WTC bathroom]
"Hey, you gotta finish up in there. 9/11 is happening."
"Alright. Just a sec."”

Dril Twitter user

[ Link to tweet https://twitter.com/dril/status/457675646970634240] Tweets by year, 2014

“To a linguist, the phenomenon is familiar: the euphemism treadmill. People invent new "polite" words to refer to emotionally laden or distasteful things, but the euphemism becomes tainted by association and the new one that must be found acquires its own negative connotations. "Water closet" becomes "toilet" (originally a term for any body care, as in "toilet kit"), which becomes "bathroom," which becomes "rest room," which becomes "lavatory." … The euphemism treadmill shows that concepts, not words, are in charge. Give a concept a new name, and the name becomes colored by the concept; the concept does not become freshened by the name.”

Steven Pinker (1954) psychologist, linguist, author

We will know we have achieved equality and mutual respect when names for minorities stay put. The game of the name, Baltimore Sun, 1994-04-06, http://pinker.wjh.harvard.edu/articles/media/1994_04_03_newyorktimes.pdf, 1994-04-03, 2011-01-19 http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1994-04-06/news/1994096202_1_dutch-words-language,

People, Color, Water

“I never worked with T. I. Here's the back story to that Wikipedia nugget: I was a guest on TRL and happened to get my hands on the list of goofy, un Andrew-Miller-like questions I was going to be asked before I walked on set. One of the questions was "Who do you like more, T. I. or [I forgot the other southern rap artist]?" So I snuck to the bathroom and searched "T. I." on my Blackberry. I memorized as much information as I could and then announced that we were working together.”

John Mayer (1977) guitarist and singer/songwriter

On how rumors got started that he was working with rapper T.I. (and how they made it to Wikipedia). Mayer, John (2007). "10 ANSWERS FOR ANDREW MILLER" http://www.johnmayer.com/blog#274 JohnMayer.com (accessed January 25, 2007)

Search, Question

“I liked my body growing up and I wasn't ashamed of it. I liked boys and didn't feel inhibited by them. Maybe it comes from having brothers and sharing a bathroom. The boys got the wrong impression of me at high school. They mistook forwardness for promiscuity. When they don't get what they want, they turn on you. I went through this period when all the girls thought I was loose and the boys said I was a nymphomaniac. The first boy I ever slept with was my boyfriend and we'd been going out a long time.”

Madonna (1958) American singer, songwriter, and actress

Madonna Rocks the Land, Time, 1985-05-27 http://time.com/3724297/madonna-rocks-the-land/,

School, Feeling, Girl, Boy

““It's been such a short visit, I haven't had time to make sense of why you have become so intense about the animal business.”
She watches the wipers wagging back and forth. “A better explanation,” she says, “is that I have not told you why, or dare not tell you. When I think of the words, they seem so outrageous that they are best spoken into a pillow or into a hole in the ground, like King Midas.”
“What is it you can't say?”
“It's that I no longer know where I am. I seem to move around perfectly easily among people, to have perfectly normal relations with them. Is it possible, I ask myself, that all of them are participants in a crime of stupefying proportions? Am I fantasizing it all? I must be mad! Yet every day I see the evidences. The very people I suspect produce the evidence, exhibit it, offer it to me. Corpses. Fragments of corpses that they have bought for money. It is as if I were to visit friends, and to make some polite remark about the lamp in their living room, and they were to say, ‘Yes, it's nice, isn't it? Polish-Jewish skin it's made of, we find that's best, the skins of young Polish-Jewish virgins.’ And then I go to the bathroom and the soap-wrapper says, ‘Treblinka— 100% human stearate.’ Am I dreaming, I say to myself?””

J.M. Coetzee book The Lives of Animals

Source: The Lives of Animals (1999), p. 69

Money, People, Dreams, Business

“Senators say they fear the N. R. A. and the gun lobby. But I think that fear must be nothing compared to the fear the first graders in Sandy Hook Elementary School felt as their lives ended in a hail of bullets. The fear that those children who survived the massacre must feel every time they remember their teachers stacking them into closets and bathrooms, whispering that they loved them, so that love would be the last thing the students heard if the gunman found them. On Wednesday, a minority of senators gave into fear and blocked common-sense legislation that would have made it harder for criminals and people with dangerous mental illnesses to get hold of deadly firearms — a bill that could prevent future tragedies like those in Newtown, Conn., Aurora, Colo., Blacksburg, Va., and too many communities to count.”

Gabrielle Giffords (1970) American politician

A Senate in the Gun Lobby’s Grip, The New York Times, 2013-04-18, April 17, 2013 http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/18/opinion/a-senate-in-the-gun-lobbys-grip.html?hp&_r=0,

Love, Children, People, Fear

“Art has poisoned our life. Aesthetics has infected everyone… If one chooses a typewriter or a sewing machine in the living room, the housewife say: 'Please take it away; it destroys the harmony of the room'. Post-cards, stamps, pouches, railway-tickets, pots umbrellas, towels, pyamas, chairs, blankets, handkerchiefs and ties – everything is 'arty'. How much more refreshing are those articles which are not called art: bathrooms, bath-tubs, bicycles, automobiles, engine-rooms and flat-irons. There are still people who can make beautiful things without art. They are the progressives.”

Theo van Doesburg (1883–1931) Dutch architect, painter, draughtsman and writer

Quote of Van Doesburg in his article: 'The end of art'; in 'De Stijl' series XII, 1924-5, pp. 135–136
1920 – 1926

Life, People, Beauty, Art

“…the bathroom which Crabbe visited showed signs that Moneypenny now regarded even a lavatory as supererogatory.”

Anthony Burgess (1917–1993) English writer

Fiction, Beds in the East (1959)

“We were fed up being harassed and strip-searched by the police, denied medical treatment, refused housing and even barred from using public bathrooms just because we were trans. We were tired of being beaten and murdered. So we went out and worked.”

Theresa Sparks (1949) American activist

The Transgender Community Needs to Reestablish Its Voice (2005)

Search, Housing

“The purpose and goal of Jewish living is to raise our consciousness of the presence of God in our every-day lives. Judaism, with its system of brakhot (blessings) for every experience from going to the bathroom to seeing a rainbow, teaches us that we do not need to remove ourselves from our daily routine in order to engender a sense of holiness. Rather, our challenge is to live with the chaos and tension of life in the modern world and, at the same time, to live lives of kedusha”

Bonnie Koppell American rabbi

holiness
Source: Vegetarianism, p. 37

Life, God, World, Sense

“Sometimes the beauty is easy.
Sometimes you don't have to try at all.
Sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake.
Sometimes there's poetry written right on the bathroom wall.”

Ani DiFranco (1970) musician and activist

Good, Bad, Ugly
Song lyrics

Beauty

“I slipped out in the bathroom of a Parisian hotel and hit my head. I was in coma for about three days, and when I woke up, one half of my body was paralyzed.”

Donald O'Brien (actor) (1930–2003) Italian film and TV actor

Euro Trash Cinema magazine interview (March 1996)

“If I roll my eyes and mutter,
if I clutch at my heart and scream in horror
like a third-rate actress chewing up a mad scene,
I do it in private and nobody sees
but the bathroom mirror.”

Margaret Atwood book Morning in the Burned House

Morning in the Burned House (1995), The Loneliness of the Military Historian

Heart, Madness

“That should be your determination. As a man, in your right front pants pocket is a small inside watch pocket. Keep pliers there, and when you go to the bathroom, once a day, pinch your love organ. Cut the skin a little bit as a warning. If your love organ does not listen to your conscience, then you should cut off the tip. Even if it takes that extreme measure, we have to make sure our mind and body become one.”

Sun Myung Moon (1920–2012) Korean religious leader

Purity, Lineage and the Love Organ (of Life) http://www.unification.net/news/news20010218_2.html (2001-02-18)

Love

“I got out of the bathroom of course. I locked the front door and pushed the big wardrobe up against the bathroom door. I thought it'd be good to be careful. A little too late, maybe.
I'm not leaving my apartment. I'm not gonna give it away. No. There's no reason I should.
The noise from the bathroom was the shattering of my porcelain toilet bowl.
They're in the bathroom. A lot. There's a lot of them. A bunch of sniffling snouts. A bunch of rats.
They're already chewing the wardrobe. I'm standing in my room, listening to their swarming.
Thousands of rats, in my apartment. All of them gnawing. I wait. Wait for them to get in. They'll be in here soon. It won't be long.
They're coming. Rats. My rats.
I'm waiting. What else can I do?”

András Petőcz (1959) Hungarian writer

RATS (1996)
András Petőcz: In Praise of the Sea (1999, ISBN 963 9101 51 6).
Prose

Waiting

“What's next? Orgy rooms? Menage a trois rooms? All this coedness is outside normal life. Most average American adults don't use coed bathrooms — if they had the option of a coed bathroom at a public restaurant, they wouldn't choose it.”

Christine O'Donnell (1969) American Tea Party politician and former Republican Party candidate

Taming Animal House; Students find ways to keep morals in college life.
2003-09-18
Washington Times
http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0199-3130739/Taming-Animal-House-Students-find.html
on coed dormitory rooms

Life