Quotes about golf

A collection of quotes on the topic of golf, play, course, likeness.

Quotes about golf

Tiger Woods photo
Mark Twain photo

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

"Twain probably never uttered [these] words," according to R. Kent Rasmussen, editor of The Quotable Mark Twain (1998).
"To play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk" is found in H.S. Scrivener, "Memories of Men and Meetings" https://books.google.com/books?id=cYgCAAAAYAAJ&q=dicta#v=snippet&q=dicta&f=false, in Arthur Wallis Myers (ed.) Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad New York:Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1903, p. 47. Scrivener attributes the aphorism to "my good friends the Allens". Reference from Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/28/golf-good-walk.
Misattributed

Ernest Hemingway photo
Antonin Scalia photo

“If one assumes, however, that the PGA TOUR has some legal obligation to play classic, Platonic golf—and if one assumes the correctness of all the other wrong turns the Court has made to get to this point—then we Justices must confront what is indeed an awesome responsibility. It has been rendered the solemn duty of the Supreme Court of the United States, laid upon it by Congress in pursuance of the Federal Government's power [t]o regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, U. S. Const., Art. I, § 8, cl. 3, to decide What Is Golf. I am sure that the Framers of the Constitution, aware of the 1457 edict of King James II of Scotland prohibiting golf because it interfered with the practice of archery, fully expected that sooner or later the paths of golf and government, the law and the links, would once again cross, and that the judges of this august Court would some day have to wrestle with that age-old jurisprudential question, for which their years of study in the law have so well prepared them: Is someone riding around a golf course from shot to shot really a golfer? The answer, we learn, is yes. The Court ultimately concludes, and it will henceforth be the Law of the Land, that walking is not a fundamental aspect of golf.”

Antonin Scalia (1936–2016) former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States

PGA Tour, Inc. v. Martin, 532 U.S. 661 http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=00-24 (2001) (dissenting).
2000s

Jack Welch photo
Kurt Vonnegut photo

“What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?”

Martian Visitor
A Man Without a Country (2005)

Cassandra Clare photo
Bertrand Russell photo

“The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf”

Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) logician, one of the first analytic philosophers and political activist

Introduction http://www.utilitarian.org/texts/newgeneration.html to The New Generation (1930)
1930s
Context: The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does.

Kurt Vonnegut photo

“Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Cold Turkey (2004)
Context: I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren’t crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls’ basketball.
Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Elizabeth Gilbert photo
Hank Aaron photo

“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.”

Hank Aaron (1934) Retired American baseball player

Source: In response to Jack Nicklaus' query, "What kind of golfer are you?"; as quoted in "Aaron Has Career in Day" by the Associated Press, in The Atlanta Constitution (February 23, 1971)

Ref: en.wikiquote.org - Hank Aaron / Quotes

Dave Barry photo

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (1985)

Will Rogers photo

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”

Will Rogers (1879–1935) American humorist and entertainer

"Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes" <!-- p. 72 -->
The Illiterate Digest (1924)
Context: The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.

P.G. Wodehouse photo
P.G. Wodehouse photo
Winston S. Churchill photo
Roger Ebert photo

“I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.”

Roger Ebert (1942–2013) American film critic, author, journalist, and TV presenter

Review http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/seven-days-in-utopia-2011 of Seven Days in Utopia (31 August 2011)
Reviews, One-star reviews

Dave Barry photo
Aldo Leopold photo
Donald J. Trump photo

“I'm going to fight for every American in every last part of this nation. We have a president who doesn't fight. He goes out and plays golf all the time.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA October 23 rally
2010s, 2016, October

Franklin Pierce Adams photo
John Updike photo
Bill Bryson photo
Evelyn Underhill photo
Donald J. Trump photo

“I love working. I'm not a vacation guy. Right? Like Obama, he plays golf in Hawaii. He flies in a 747.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA April 21, 2016 rally
2010s, 2016, April

Annika Sörenstam photo

“Ron Sirak, a golf writer and friend, was quoted as saying, "Annika is no longer a female golfer. She's a golfer." That's truly all I ever aspired to be.”

Annika Sörenstam (1970) Swedish golfer

End of World Golf Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech - October 2003 http://www.asapsports.com/show_interview.php?id=15370

Jean Giraudoux photo

“A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.”

Jean Giraudoux (1882–1944) French novelist, essayist, diplomat and playwright

The Doctor in The Enchanted: A Comedy in Three Acts, p. 6 (1950, as adapted by Maurice Valency).

Toni Morrison photo

“There has to be a better use for titanium than golf clubs.”

Rob Payne (1973) Canadian writer

Source: Working Class Zero (2003), Chapter 19, p. 154

Dan Patrick photo

“[Golf/Goff] shots, nothing but [golf/goff] shots.”

Dan Patrick (1956) American sportscaster

Catch Phrases

Donald J. Trump photo
Walker Percy photo
Jean Chrétien photo
Annika Sörenstam photo

“I'm going back to my tour where I belong. The attention was more than I expected. The golf course wasn't a problem. It was just the things around it. All the preparation I've done in the last month weighed on me.”

Annika Sörenstam (1970) Swedish golfer

Comments after missing the cut at the Bank of America Colonial PGA Tournament - May 2003 http://www.usatoday.com/sports/golf/pga/2003-05-23-colonial_x.htm

Jeremy Clarkson photo
Gerald Ford photo

“The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn't are as much a part of golf as life itself.”

Gerald Ford (1913–2006) American politician, 38th President of the United States (in office from 1974 to 1977)

Dedication speech at the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst North Carolina, as quoted in The New York Times (12 September 1974)
1970s

Babe Ruth photo
John Updike photo

“…golf appeals to the idiot in us, and the child. … Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”

John Updike (1932–2009) American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic

Essay The Bliss of Golf (1982), reprinted in Golf Dreams (1996)

Bill Engvall photo

“[playing golf with his friends]”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Here's Your Sign (1996)

Tom Stoppard photo
Donald J. Trump photo

“It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

After Roasting, Trump Reacts In Character
2011-05-01
New York Times
Michael
Barbaro
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/02/nyregion/after-roasting-trump-reacts-in-character.html
2011-05-06
on his opposition to same-sex marriage
2010s, 2011

Tiger Woods photo
George V of the United Kingdom photo

“Golf always makes me so damned angry.”

George V of the United Kingdom (1865–1936) King of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Emperor of India

Attributed

T.S. Eliot photo

“And the wind shall say: "Here were decent godless people:
Their only monument the asphalt road
And a thousand lost golf balls."”

T.S. Eliot (1888–1965) 20th century English author

Choruses from The Rock (1934)

Mickey Mantle photo
Ian Fleming photo
Harper Lee photo

“Well, they’re Southern people, and if they know you are working at home they think nothing of walking right in for coffee. But they wouldn’t dream of interrupting you at golf.”

Harper Lee (1926–2016) American author

On why she has done her best creative thinking while playing golf, as quoted in Time (12 May 1980)

Donald J. Trump photo

“I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to go play golf.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Trump used to have a slightly different opinion of presidents playing golf https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/13/trump-used-to-have-a-slightly-different-opinion-of-presidents-playing-golf/?utm_term=.d2f026a42e9c by Phillip Bump, Washington Post, August 8 Virginia rally (August 20, 2016)
2010s, 2016, August

Babe Ruth photo
Walker Percy photo
Calvin Coolidge photo
Charles Barkley photo
Jack Nicklaus photo

“It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus.”

Jack Nicklaus (1940) American golfer

On winning his 70th PGA tournament, WINS Radio (May 28, 1984)

Neal Stephenson photo
Garrison Keillor photo
William H. Rehnquist photo

“Well, it's just a sense of personal satisfaction. Just like taking a good photograph or painting a picture or playing a good golf game or something, it's the thing in itself that justifies it.”

William H. Rehnquist (1924–2005) Chief Justice of the United States

On writing.
Booknotes http://www.booknotes.org/Transcript/index_print.asp?ProgramID=1107 television interview (July 5, 1992)

Liam Fox photo
Adlai Stevenson photo

“Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses … yet we are all children of the same Judaic-Christian civilization, with much the same religious background basically.”

Adlai Stevenson (1900–1965) mid-20th-century Governor of Illinois and Ambassador to the UN

As quoted in The Political Thought of Adlai E. Stevenson (1955) by William Robert Latimer, p. 89

Ai Weiwei photo

“Consider why the quality of school dinners is declining, even as more and more golf courses are opened.”

Ai Weiwei (1957) Chinese concept artist

“ Gold Is Not the Real Measure of a Nation http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/aug/25/olympics2008.china,” Guardian, August 25, 2008.
2000-09, 2008

Alex Steffen photo
George Will photo
Melanie Phillips photo
Ian McDonald photo

“His theory of golf is, never play any sport that requires you to dress as your grandfather.”

Source: River of Gods (2006), Ch. 20 (p. 249).

Kathy Griffin photo
Charlie Sifford photo

“Golf is such a wonderful game, I love it to death.”

Charlie Sifford (1922–2015) professional golfer

Charlie Sifford hailed by Tiger Woods and others for breaking golf barriers https://www.pga.com/news/pga/charlie-sifford-hailed-tiger-woods-and-others-breaking-golf-barriers by The Associated Press (November 18, 2014)

Tiger Woods photo

“We have a lot of fun every year, and I really enjoy being part of junior golf and the development of these players.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0971329/bio

Ernie Banks photo

“Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it”

Ernie Banks (1931–2015) American baseball player and coach

http://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/sport-quotes/sports-quotes/golf-quotes/10/21/2011.

Frank McCourt photo
Shane Claiborne photo
Harold Lloyd photo
Mickey Mantle photo

“He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.”

Mickey Mantle (1931–1995) Professional baseball player

Attributed without citation in Young, David. Breakthrough Power for Golfers: A Daily Guide to an Extraordinary Life, Wind Runner Press, 2011. p. 189.

John Updike photo

“There had been a lot of death in the newspapers lately. […] and then before Christmas that Pan Am Flight 103 ripping open like a rotten melon five miles above Scotland and dropping all these bodies and flaming wreckage all over the golf course and the streets of this little town like Glockamorra, what was its real name, Lockerbie. Imagine sitting there in your seat being lulled by the hum of the big Rolls-Royce engines and the stewardesses bringing the clinking drinks caddy and the feeling of having caught the plane and nothing to do now but relax and then with a roar and a giant ripping noise and scattered screams this whole cozy world dropping away and nothing under you but black space and your chest squeezed by the terrible unbreathable cold, that cold you can scarcely believe is there but that you sometimes actually feel still packed into the suitcases, stored in the unpressurised hold, when you unpack your clothes, the dirty underwear and beach towels with the merciless chill of death from outer space still in them. […] Those bodies with hearts pumping tumbling down in the dark. How much did they know as they fell, through air dense like tepid water, tepid gray like this terminal where people blow through like dust in an air duct, to the airline we're all just numbers on the computer, one more or less, who cares? A blip on the screen, then no blip on the screen. Those bodies tumbling down like wet melon seeds.”

Rabbit at Rest (1990)

S. I. Hayakawa photo
Irene Dunne photo
P. J. O'Rourke photo
Bill Bailey photo
Tiger Woods photo

“Life isn't all Golf.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

Though Woods might have used this phrase, it is one dating at least to the early 20th century; the earliest published use thus far located is in "Mr. Lyncargo's Professional, by Frank Savile, in ‪The Badminton Magazine of Sports and Pastimes‬ (1906), p. 498, where a character declares : "Life isn't all golf. There are other duties, sometimes."
Misattributed

Abbie Hoffman photo
Louise Brooks photo
P.G. Wodehouse photo