Quotes about golf (87 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

Men , Sport , Hockey

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American author and humorist

"Twain probably never uttered [these] words," according to R. Kent Rasmussen, editor of The Quotable Mark Twain (1998).
"To play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk" is found in H.S. Scrivener, "Memories of Men and Meetings" https://books.google.com/books?id=cYgCAAAAYAAJ&q=dicta#v=snippet&q=dicta&f=false, in Arthur Wallis Myers (ed.) Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad New York:Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1903, p. 47. Scrivener attributes the aphorism to "my good friends the Allens". Reference from Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/28/golf-good-walk.
Misattributed

“My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.”

Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) American author and journalist

Letter (15 May 1925); published in Ernest Hemingway: Selected Letters 1917–1961 (1981) edited by Carlos Baker

Game

“If one assumes, however, that the PGA TOUR has some legal obligation to play classic, Platonic golf—and if one assumes the correctness of all the other wrong turns the Court has made to get to this point—then we Justices must confront what is indeed an awesome responsibility. It has been rendered the solemn duty of the Supreme Court of the United States, laid upon it by Congress in pursuance of the Federal Government's power [t]o regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, U. S. Const., Art. I, § 8, cl. 3, to decide What Is Golf. I am sure that the Framers of the Constitution, aware of the 1457 edict of King James II of Scotland prohibiting golf because it interfered with the practice of archery, fully expected that sooner or later the paths of golf and government, the law and the links, would once again cross, and that the judges of this august Court would some day have to wrestle with that age-old jurisprudential question, for which their years of study in the law have so well prepared them: Is someone riding around a golf course from shot to shot really a golfer? The answer, we learn, is yes. The Court ultimately concludes, and it will henceforth be the Law of the Land, that walking is not a fundamental aspect of golf.”

Antonin Scalia (1936–2016) former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States

PGA Tour, Inc. v. Martin, 532 U.S. 661 http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=00-24 (2001) (dissenting).
2000s

Age , Justice , Law , Art

“Being a CEO is the nuts! A whole jumble of thoughts come to mind: Over the top. Wild. Fun. Outrageous. Crazy. Passion. Perpetual motion. The give-and-take. Meetings into the night. Incredible friendships. Fine wine. Celebrations. Great golf courses. Big decisions in the real game. Crises and pressure. Lots of swings. A few home runs. The thrill of winning. The pain of losing. It's as good as it gets! You get paid a lot, but the real payoff is in the fun.”

Jack Welch (1935) American executive: General Electric CEO

Source: Jack: Straight from the Gut (2001), Ch. 24.

Pain , Friendship , Home , Game

“What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?”

Kurt Vonnegut book A Man Without a Country

Martian Visitor
A Man Without a Country (2005)

“This kind of reminds me of the time my grandfather gave me his old golf clubs."
"Yeah, except you never use those."
"And I hope you never have to use that.”

Cassandra Clare The Mortal Instruments

Simon and Clary, pg. 72
The Mortal Instruments, City of Ashes (2008)

Hope , Time

“The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf”

Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) logician, one of the first analytic philosophers and political activist

Introduction http://www.utilitarian.org/texts/newgeneration.html to The New Generation (1930)
1930s
Context: The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does.

Family

“Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Cold Turkey (2004)
Context: I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren’t crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls’ basketball.
Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

“You have the opposite of poker face. You have like.. miniature golf face.”

Elizabeth Gilbert book Eat, Pray, Love

Source: Eat, Pray, Love

“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.”

Hank Aaron (1934) Retired American baseball player

Source: In response to Jack Nicklaus' query, "What kind of golfer are you?"; as quoted in "Aaron Has Career in Day" by the Associated Press, in The Atlanta Constitution (February 23, 1971)

Ref: en.wikiquote.org - Hank Aaron / Quotes

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (1985)

Clothes

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”

Will Rogers (1879–1935) American humorist and entertainer

"Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes" 
The Illiterate Digest (1924)
Context: The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.

People

“To find a man's true character, play golf with him.”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

“Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

God , Knowledge

“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose”

Winston S. Churchill (1874–1965) Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Game

“I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.”

Roger Ebert (1942–2013) American film critic, author, journalist, and TV presenter

Review http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/seven-days-in-utopia-2011 of Seven Days in Utopia (31 August 2011)
Reviews, One-star reviews

“In sports, Vijay Singh wins the Masters golf tournament and is awarded the coveted green jacket, which is quickly snatched away by angry Buick executives and given to Tiger Woods.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (2007)

Sport

“Your true modern is separated from the land by many middlemen, and by innumerable physical gadgets. He has no vital relation to it; to him it is the space between cities on which crops grow. Turn him loose for a day on the land, and if the spot does not happen to be a golf links or a ‘scenic’ area, he is bored stiff. If crops could be raised by hydroponics instead of farming, it would suit him very well. Synthetic substitutes for wood, leather, wool, and other natural land products suit him better than the originals. In short, land is something he has ‘outgrown.”

Aldo Leopold book A Sand County Almanac

Source: A Sand County Almanac, 1949, "The Land Ethic", p. 223-224.

Nature

“I'm going to fight for every American in every last part of this nation. We have a president who doesn't fight. He goes out and plays golf all the time.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA October 23 rally
2010s, 2016, October

Time , Fight , Parting

“Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.”

Franklin Pierce Adams (1881–1960) United States humor writer

Nods and Becks (1944)

Age , Dead

“[Harry having drawn at golf] The shape of his collapse clings to him. Who says the universe isn't soaked in disgrace?”

John Updike book Rabbit at Rest

Rabbit at Rest (1990)

Universe

“After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind), I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry.”

Bill Bryson (1951) American author

In a Sunburned Country (US), Down Under (UK) (2000)

Game , Study

“It is reasonable, even reassuring, that hard work and discipline should be needed for this: that it should demand of you, if not the renunciation of the cloister, at least the virtues of the golf course.”

Evelyn Underhill book Practical Mysticism

Source: Practical Mysticism (1914), Chapter III, The Preparation Of The Mystic, p. 52

“I love working. I'm not a vacation guy. Right? Like Obama, he plays golf in Hawaii. He flies in a 747.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA April 21, 2016 rally
2010s, 2016, April

Love , Guy

“Ways to combat stress, such as playing golf before a conference call or taking a break on the beach during inventory, are essential.”

Ricardo Semler book The Seven-Day Weekend

The Seven-Day Weekend (2004)

Way

“Ron Sirak, a golf writer and friend, was quoted as saying, "Annika is no longer a female golfer. She's a golfer." That's truly all I ever aspired to be.”

Annika Sörenstam (1970) Swedish golfer

End of World Golf Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech - October 2003 http://www.asapsports.com/show_interview.php?id=15370

Quotes

“It's actually quite difficult to stay awake while watch golf on television. It's a great sleep inducer. I think this is why the commentators in golf whisper. They don't want to wake you up. 'Looks like Tiger has about a twenty foot putt, and while he's lining it up I'll take this opportunity to sing "Rock-a-Bye baby,…"”

Jeff Stilson American comedian

Comedy Central Presents Jeff Stilson (2003)

Thinking , Sleep , Singing , Baby

“A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.”

Jean Giraudoux (1882–1944) French novelist, essayist, diplomat and playwright

The Doctor in The Enchanted: A Comedy in Three Acts, p. 6 (1950, as adapted by Maurice Valency).

Universe

“In that place, where they tore the nightshade and blackberry patches from their roots to make room for the Medallion City Golf Course, there was once a neighborhood.”

Toni Morrison book Sula

First lines
Sula (1973)

“There has to be a better use for titanium than golf clubs.”

Rob Payne (1973) Canadian writer

Source: Working Class Zero (2003), Chapter 19, p. 154

“[Golf/Goff] shots, nothing but [golf/goff] shots.”

Dan Patrick (1956) American sportscaster

Catch Phrases

“Obama is going to be out playing golf. He might be on one of my courses. I would invite him, I actually would say. I have the best courses in the world, so I'd say, you what, if he wants to — I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac. If he'd like to play, that's fine. In fact, I'd love him to leave early and play, that would be a very good thing.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

2010s, 2015, Presidential Bid Announcement (June 16, 2015)

Love , World , Housing

“He thought he was a good poet but he was not. He thought books could tell him how to live but they couldn't. He was a serious but dazed reader. He read Dante and Shakespeare and Nietzsche and Freud. He read modern poetry and books on psychiatry. He had taken a degree in English, couldn't, decided to farm, bought a goat farm, managed a Confederate museum in a cave on his property, wrote poetry, went broke, became a golf pro.”

Walker Percy book The Second Coming

The Second Coming (1980)

Books , Reading

“Three months later, on September 5, 2001, at a pro-am event preceding the Canadian Open at the Royal Montreal Golf Club, I was invited to play a round with Tiger Woods. Nothing in the game of politics had ever been as nerve-racking as that game of golf.”

Jean Chrétien (1934) 20th Prime Minister of Canada

Source: My Years As Prime Minister (2007), Chapter Eight, Tales from the Nineteenth Hole, p. 198

Game

“I'm going back to my tour where I belong. The attention was more than I expected. The golf course wasn't a problem. It was just the things around it. All the preparation I've done in the last month weighed on me.”

Annika Sörenstam (1970) Swedish golfer

Comments after missing the cut at the Bank of America Colonial PGA Tournament - May 2003 http://www.usatoday.com/sports/golf/pga/2003-05-23-colonial_x.htm

Problem

“Human artifacts are not stains imposed on nature. Such a view drives a wedge between humanity and the rest of the community of life. A golf ball is the manifestation of the mind of a clever, playful African primate. This primate loves to invent games to test its physical and mental skill. Generally, these games are played on carefully reconstructed replicas of the savanna from which the ape came and for which its subconscious still hankers. The clever primate belongs in this world. … To love nature and to hate humanity is illogical.”

David G. Haskell (1950) writer, Biologist

"August 8th — Earthstar," pages 157-158
The Forest Unseen: A Year's Watch in Nature http://theforestunseen.com/ (2012)

Love , Life , Hate , World

“Then there's power. There was a time when people cooed over Ferraris that developed 200 horsepower, whereas today 2.0 litre Escorts can manage that. It's almost impossible to buy a car that won't do a hundred. (If you really want one, various Mercedes diesels make a pretty good stab at it.) Then there's the environment. The Volkswagen Beetle could kill a rain forest at 400 paces whereas today's Golf trundles around with tulips coming out of its exhaust. The gas coming out of a Sab is actually cleaner than the air that went in. That's true, that is.”

Jeremy Clarkson book Born to be Riled

Source: Born to be Riled (1999), p. 21

People , Cars , Time

“The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn't are as much a part of golf as life itself.”

Gerald Ford (1913–2006) American politician, 38th President of the United States (in office from 1974 to 1977)

Dedication speech at the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst North Carolina, as quoted in The New York Times (12 September 1974)
1970s

Life , Parting

“In pitching, control is the main thing—one thing you've got to have. Few pitchers have it. In batting, it is timing—waiting on the ball, not hurrying the swing—just as it is in golf. Most hitters in baseball swing too quickly. They can't wait on the pitch. Old Joe Jackson could wait. So could Speaker and Cobb”

Babe Ruth (1895–1948) American baseball player

As quoted in "Babe Ruth, Idle First time In 23 Years, Blames His Legs"

Time , Waiting

“…golf appeals to the idiot in us, and the child. … Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”

John Updike (1932–2009) American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic

Essay The Bliss of Golf (1982), reprinted in Golf Dreams (1996)

Past

“[playing golf with his friends]”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

Here's Your Sign (1996)

“I never got used to the way the house Trots fell into the jargon back in Grimsby — I mean, on any other subject, like the death of the novel, or the sex life of the editor's secretary, they spoke ordinary English, but as soon as they started trying to get me to join the strike it was as if their brains had been taken out and replaced by one of those little golf-ball things you get in electric typewriters… "Betrayal"… "Confrontation"… "Management"… My God, you'd need a more supple language than that to describe an argument between two amoebas.”

Tom Stoppard Night and Day

Milne, Act I
Night and Day (1978)

Life , Death , God , Sex

“It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

After Roasting, Trump Reacts In Character
2011-05-01
New York Times
Michael
Barbaro
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/02/nyregion/after-roasting-trump-reacts-in-character.html
2011-05-06
on his opposition to same-sex marriage
2010s, 2011

Hate , People

“I think the best thing is being able to play golf competitively for a living. Ever since I was a little boy, that's something I've always wanted to do, and now I get a chance to live out my dreams.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0971329/bio

Dreams , Boy , Thinking , Chance

“Golf always makes me so damned angry.”

George V of the United Kingdom (1865–1936) King of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Emperor of India

Attributed

“And the wind shall say: "Here were decent godless people:
Their only monument the asphalt road
And a thousand lost golf balls."”

T.S. Eliot (1888–1965) 20th century English author

Choruses from The Rock (1934)

People

“I'd never show up a pitcher by standing in the batters box and watching how far the ball goes like a lot of players do now. But it made me feel good to know I could hit a ball longer than anyone else. It tickled the hell out of me. It was like playing in a golf tournament and hearing all the ohhs and ahhs when you hit a good drive. I mean, every time I swung at it I was trying to hit it longer than the time before. I'm sure that was why I struck out so much, but I'd get a kick out of it. Poor Casey would get so mad. He'd say, "Hey butcher boy, just make contact."”

Mickey Mantle (1931–1995) Professional baseball player

But he couldn't get me to change. In fact, Whitey told me just last year that I'd shut my eyes just before I lunged.
As quoted in "IT'S OUTTA HEEERRE!!!: A New Generation of Sluggers Invites Tape-Measure Comparisons" http://articles.latimes.com/1986-07-21/sports/sp-26487_1_home-run.

Feeling , Boy , Hell , Change

“Wednesday (as Pocahontas): You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations; your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadside; you will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation; your people will have stick-shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller."
Becky (as Sarah Miller): Gary, she's changing the words!
Wednesday (as Pocahontas): And for all these reasons, I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

Paul Rudnick (1957) American playwright and screenwiter

See also
Addams Family Values (1993)

God , Pain , People , Home

“The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same difference between a beautiful and a plain woman — a matter of millimetres.”

Ian Fleming book Goldfinger

Source: Goldfinger (1959), Ch. 8 : All To Play For

Beauty

“Well, they’re Southern people, and if they know you are working at home they think nothing of walking right in for coffee. But they wouldn’t dream of interrupting you at golf.”

Harper Lee (1926–2016) American author

On why she has done her best creative thinking while playing golf, as quoted in Time (12 May 1980)

People , Dreams , Home , Coffee

“I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to go play golf.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Trump used to have a slightly different opinion of presidents playing golf https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/13/trump-used-to-have-a-slightly-different-opinion-of-presidents-playing-golf/?utm_term=.d2f026a42e9c by Phillip Bump, Washington Post, August 8 Virginia rally (August 20, 2016)
2010s, 2016, August

Time

“I don't believe that the average fellow has anything like a true line on the value of wrist action in hitting anything—a baseball, a golf ball, a tennis ball or a polo ball. If you watch most of them, you will see they are trying to hit with their bodies, with their shoulders, with their arms—with almost everything except their wrists. I think it comes because most of them are overanxious, all tied up, too tense. They start by gripping too tightly. That kills off the hands and wrists. Their wrists get locked and then they have to swing their shoulders and bodies in. You'd be surprised how far a fellow can hit a ball, using only his wrists. I know I've been caught off guard or out of position on a sharp breaking curve, have had to slap at the ball, using only my wrists and have now and then watched it sail over the fence. The wrist is the mainspring—both wrists in baseball and golf. If you get them to work the rest is fairly easy. If you don't get them to work you are not going to do any good hitting. You can't get any speed in closing a door if the hinges are rusty and won't work. Hack Wilson must have great wrist action, for no short, stocky guy is going to hit that many home runs without a lot of it.”

Babe Ruth (1895–1948) American baseball player

As quoted in "The Sportlight" by Grantland Rice, in The Baltimore Sun (August 22, 1930), p. 13

Guy , Home , Thinking , Speed

“The lives of other people seemed even more farcical than his own. It astonished him that as farcical as most people's live were, they generally gave no sign of it. Why was it that it was he not they who had decided to shoot himself? How did they manage to deceive themselves and even appear to live normally, work as usual, play golf, tell jokes, argue politics? Was he crazy or was it rather the case that other people went to any length to disguise from themselves the fact that their lives were farcical? He couldn't decide.”

Walker Percy book The Second Coming

The Second Coming (1980)

People , Appearance

“Nearly every city is making large appropriations for laying out spacious parks and playgrounds. These are providing recreation fields for the playing of outdoor games by both old and young. Golf courses and tennis courts abound. Too much emphasis can not be placed on the effort to get the children out of the alleys and off the streets into spacious open places where there is good sunlight and plenty of fresh air. Such an opportunity has both a physical and mental effect. It restores the natural balance of life and nourishes the moral fiber of youth.”

Calvin Coolidge (1872–1933) American politician, 30th president of the United States (in office from 1923 to 1929)

1920s, The Democracy of Sports (1924)

Life , Children , Youth , Game

“It's great to be hosting SNL again. I hosted sixteen years ago. Back then I was in great shape, I was coming off an MVP season with the Phoenix Suns - now, I play bad golf, drink, sometimes I get arrested.”

Charles Barkley (1963) American basketball player

From Saturday Night Live, January 9, 2010

Drink , Sun , Season

“It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus.”

Jack Nicklaus (1940) American golfer

On winning his 70th PGA tournament, WINS Radio (May 28, 1984)

“Both of them have seen many young Western men arrive here on business missions and completely lose control of their sphincters and become impediments to any kind of organized activity. Daily hired Wall because, like Daily, he is a stable family man who has his act together…and they seem to be making excellent progress toward their goal, which is to run two really expensive wires across the Malay Peninsula. They tend to be absolutely straight shooters…. Their openness would probably be career suicide in the atmosphere of Byzantine court-eunuch intrigue that is public life in the United States today. On the other hand, if I had an unlimited amount of money and woke up tomorrow morning with a burning desire to see a 2,000-hole golf course erected on the surface of Mars, I would probably call men like Daily and Wall, do a handshake deal with them, send them a blank check, and not worry about it.”

Neal Stephenson (1959) American science fiction writer

"Mother Earth Mother Board," cover story in Wired, 4.12 (1996)

Life , Men , Money , Family

“The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk.”

Garrison Keillor (1942) American radio host and writer

" "We're Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore" In These Times (26 August 2004) http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/979/

People , Faith , Boy , Evil

“Well, it's just a sense of personal satisfaction. Just like taking a good photograph or painting a picture or playing a good golf game or something, it's the thing in itself that justifies it.”

William H. Rehnquist (1924–2005) Chief Justice of the United States

On writing.
Booknotes http://www.booknotes.org/Transcript/index_print.asp?ProgramID=1107 television interview (July 5, 1992)

Game , Sense , Painting , Personality

“This country is not the free-trading nation it once was. We have become too lazy, and too fat on our successes in previous generations, companies who could be contributing to our national prosperity - but choose not to because it might be too difficult or too time-consuming or because they can't play golf on a Friday afternoon - we've got to be saying to them if you want to share in the prosperity of our country you have a duty to contribute to the prosperity of our country.”

Liam Fox (1961) British Conservative politician

At a Conservative Way Forward event. http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/uk-business-is-too-lazy-and-fat-and-prefers-to-play-golf-says-liam-fox-tbqpt5r97 (September 10, 2016)
2016

Time , Success , Country

“Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses … yet we are all children of the same Judaic-Christian civilization, with much the same religious background basically.”

Adlai Stevenson (1900–1965) mid-20th-century Governor of Illinois and Ambassador to the UN

As quoted in The Political Thought of Adlai E. Stevenson (1955) by William Robert Latimer, p. 89

Children

“Consider why the quality of school dinners is declining, even as more and more golf courses are opened.”

Ai Weiwei (1957) Chinese concept artist

“ Gold Is Not the Real Measure of a Nation http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/aug/25/olympics2008.china,” Guardian, August 25, 2008.
2000-09, 2008

School

“[Elizabeth Moon's] antagonists are always evil moustache-twirlers. She could write a book about a golf open and the main rival to the hero would turn out to have clubs made from compressed kittens.”

James Nicoll (1961) Canadian fiction reviewer

[efprv2$bpa$1@reader1.panix.com, 2006]
2000s

Books , Evil

“To be young and aware is to suspect that, in the end, the debate about climate action isn’t about substance, but about rich old men trying to squeeze every last dollar, euro, and yen from their investments in outdated industries. It is to agree with the environmentalist Paul Hawken that we have an economy that steals the future, sells it in the present, and calls it GDP. It is to begin to see your elders as cannibals with golf clubs.”

Alex Steffen (1968) American writer and futurist

The GOOD Guide to COP15: The Fire this Time: Copenhagen and the War for the Future, 18 November 2009 http://www.good.is/post/The-GOOD-Guide-to-COP15-The-Fire-this-Time-Copenhagen-and-the-War-for-the-Future/,

Men , Future

“I believe the most important decision taken anywhere by anyone in the 20th century was the decision about where to locate the Princeton Graduate College. President of the University Thomas Woodrow Wilson wanted it down on the campus, integrated with the undergraduate college. His nemesis, Dean Andrew Fleming West, wanted it where it now is, up on a little hill overlooking the Princeton golf course. President Woodrow Wilson had one of his characteristic snits, resigned as president, went into politics and ruined the 20th century.”

George Will (1941) American newspaper columnist, journalist, and author

Remarks at the Disinvitation Dinner http://www.buckleyprogram.com/#!Transcript-of-George-Wills-Remarks-at-the-Disinvitation-Dinner/c18lp/i8sxengw20, William F. Buckley, Jr. Program at Yale (15 April 2015). Of his quip, Will remarked, "I simplify a bit and exaggerate somewhat."
2010s

Decision , Universe

“Valuable vocational courses have vanished along with the further education colleges that once delivered them. Now all such colleges are universities, every other tutor is a professor and all get degrees which are supposed to be of equal value. But of course this is nonsense on stilts. A degree in golf-course management does not have the same value as a degree in physics.”

Melanie Phillips (1951) British journalist

http://www.melaniephillips.com/articles/archives/001420.html

Education , Universe

“His theory of golf is, never play any sport that requires you to dress as your grandfather.”

Ian McDonald book River of Gods

Source: River of Gods (2006), Ch. 20 (p. 249).

Sport

“And then who comes along to save the day? A couple of tool-belt wearing, golf-loving, Dinah Shore weekend lesbians sent from heaven.”

Kathy Griffin (1960) American actress and comedian

Strong Black Woman (2006)

Love

“Golf is such a wonderful game, I love it to death.”

Charlie Sifford (1922–2015) professional golfer

Charlie Sifford hailed by Tiger Woods and others for breaking golf barriers https://www.pga.com/news/pga/charlie-sifford-hailed-tiger-woods-and-others-breaking-golf-barriers by The Associated Press (November 18, 2014)

Love , Death , Game

“We have a lot of fun every year, and I really enjoy being part of junior golf and the development of these players.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0971329/bio

Parting

“The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.”

H. G. Wells book Bealby

Bealby: A Holiday (1915)

Law

“Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it”

Ernie Banks (1931–2015) American baseball player and coach

http://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/sport-quotes/sports-quotes/golf-quotes/10/21/2011.

“In The Bob Hope Golf Classic (LWT) the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.”

Clive James (1939–2019) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet, translator and memoirist

'Blinding white flash'
Essays and reviews, Glued to the Box (1983)

Hope

“If you don't settle down to something very soon you’ll be forty and wondering where your life went. She pointed to the people all around us, happily married, productive, settled, content, having children, developing mature relationships, looking to the future, going on nice vacations, joining clubs, taking up golf, growing old together, visiting relatives, dreaming of grandchildren, supporting their churches, thinking of retirement. I agreed with her but I couldn't admit it. I gave her a sermon on life and America. I told her life was an adventure, and maybe I was living in the wrong century.”

Frank McCourt book Teacher Man

Teacher Man (2005)

Life , Children , People , Dreams

“I heard one of the teaching pastors at Willow Creek speak on the rich young ruler text that Rich (Mullins) had talked about in Wheaton's chapel. The teaching pastor had said, "now this doesn't mean you have to go sell your rollerblades and golf clubs," and he went on to "contextualize" the teaching to show that we just need to be careful not to make idols of our things. I wasn't so sure about that. Jesus doesn't tell the man to be a better steward, or to treat his workers fairly, or not to make money an idol. He tells this highly educated and devoutly religious young man that he lacks one thing: giving up everything he owns to give the poor.”

Shane Claiborne The Irresistible Revolution

Source: The Irresistible Revolution (2006), p. 103

Money , Education

“I love competition.
I'd rather have to fight and worry than be peaceful and secure, any day.
I've found that I'm a peaceful, easy-going sort of a fellow about all the small things in life. But when a big issue comes along and when I feel I'm right about it—well, I guess I'm pretty stubborn. Even nasty.
I've taken up golf. I'm crazy about it. Doug Fairbanks and I play every day that we can get away from work. I not only like the game a lot, but I want to master it. I'm not satisfied just to play golf. I want to be good at it. That's the way I've come to feel about everything.”

Harold Lloyd (1893–1971) American film actor and producer

"Discoveries About Myself". Motion Picture, October 1930, pg. 90. (Brewster Publications). https://archive.org/stream/motionpicture1923040chic#page/n595/mode/2up

Love , Life , Peace , Way

“He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.”

Mickey Mantle (1931–1995) Professional baseball player

Attributed without citation in Young, David. Breakthrough Power for Golfers: A Daily Guide to an Extraordinary Life, Wind Runner Press, 2011. p. 189.

Lie

“There had been a lot of death in the newspapers lately. […] and then before Christmas that Pan Am Flight 103 ripping open like a rotten melon five miles above Scotland and dropping all these bodies and flaming wreckage all over the golf course and the streets of this little town like Glockamorra, what was its real name, Lockerbie. Imagine sitting there in your seat being lulled by the hum of the big Rolls-Royce engines and the stewardesses bringing the clinking drinks caddy and the feeling of having caught the plane and nothing to do now but relax and then with a roar and a giant ripping noise and scattered screams this whole cozy world dropping away and nothing under you but black space and your chest squeezed by the terrible unbreathable cold, that cold you can scarcely believe is there but that you sometimes actually feel still packed into the suitcases, stored in the unpressurised hold, when you unpack your clothes, the dirty underwear and beach towels with the merciless chill of death from outer space still in them. […] Those bodies with hearts pumping tumbling down in the dark. How much did they know as they fell, through air dense like tepid water, tepid gray like this terminal where people blow through like dust in an air duct, to the airline we're all just numbers on the computer, one more or less, who cares? A blip on the screen, then no blip on the screen. Those bodies tumbling down like wet melon seeds.”

John Updike book Rabbit at Rest

Rabbit at Rest (1990)

Death , People , World , Feeling

“SPAN ID=We_live_in>We live in a highly competitive society, each of us trying to outdo the other in wealth, in popularity or social prestige, in dress, in scholastic grades or golf scores. […] One is often tempted to say that conflict, rather than cooperation, is the great governing principle of human life. </SPAN”

S. I. Hayakawa book Language in Thought and Action

Source: Language in Thought and Action (1949), The Pooling of Knowledge, p. 14

Life , Wealth

“Never on any golf course have I been approached by a policeman who said, "Lady, you can't play with an ordinary golf ball. You're movie star. You'll have to use a coconut for a ball.”

Irene Dunne (1898–1990) American actress

How Do I Stay Normal in Hollywood (1942)

Star

“Man has been breeding livestock for ten thousand years and has yet to come up with a monstrous sheep that can trample buildings and graze a whole golf course for breakfast.”

P. J. O'Rourke (1947) American journalist

All the Trouble in the World (1994)

“Anyway, beards and drugs leads me neatly to the Taliban; were they really that backward, or were they the finest minds of the fourteenth century? Nobody seems to know or care. That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.”

Bill Bailey (1965) English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author

Part Troll (2004)

Women , World , Music

“Life isn't all Golf.”

Tiger Woods (1975) American professional golfer

Though Woods might have used this phrase, it is one dating at least to the early 20th century; the earliest published use thus far located is in "Mr. Lyncargo's Professional, by Frank Savile, in ‪The Badminton Magazine of Sports and Pastimes‬ (1906), p. 498, where a character declares : "Life isn't all golf. There are other duties, sometimes."
Misattributed

Life

“Your universities teach you to be eternal cynics, a cynicism that can be only drowned in alcohol and diet pills and psychoanalysts and golf. Forget your cynicism. There is not one who has more respect for life than a revolutionist.”

Abbie Hoffman book Woodstock Nation

Che's Last Letter
Woodstock Nation (1969)

Universe , Forgetting , Life , Alcohol

“I have been taking stock of my 50 years since I left Wichita. How I have existed fills me with horror for I failed in everything. Spelling, arithmetic, writing, swimming, tennis, golf, dancing, singing, acting, wife, mistress, whore, friend, even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of not trying. I tried with all my heart.”

Louise Brooks (1906–1985) American dancer and actress

Looking for Lulu (1998)

Singing , Whore , Heart , Dance

“What I want to know is what a fellow does when he plays golf. Tell me in as few words as you can just what it's all about. -- You hit a ball with a stick until it falls into a hole.”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

"The Heel of Achilles"
The Clicking Of Cuthbert (1922)