Quotes about golf
A collection of quotes on the topic of golf, play, course, likeness.
Quotes about golf

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
"Twain probably never uttered [these] words," according to R. Kent Rasmussen, editor of The Quotable Mark Twain (1998).
"To play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk" is found in H.S. Scrivener, "Memories of Men and Meetings" https://books.google.com/books?id=cYgCAAAAYAAJ&q=dicta#v=snippet&q=dicta&f=false, in Arthur Wallis Myers (ed.) Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad New York:Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1903, p. 47. Scrivener attributes the aphorism to "my good friends the Allens". Reference from Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/28/golf-good-walk.
Misattributed

Letter (15 May 1925); published in Ernest Hemingway: Selected Letters 1917–1961 (1981) edited by Carlos Baker

PGA Tour, Inc. v. Martin, 532 U.S. 661 http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=000&invol=00-24 (2001) (dissenting).
2000s

Source: Jack: Straight from the Gut (2001), Ch. 24.

“What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?”
Martian Visitor
A Man Without a Country (2005)

Introduction http://www.utilitarian.org/texts/newgeneration.html to The New Generation (1930)
1930s
Context: The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does.

Cold Turkey (2004)
Context: I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren’t crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls’ basketball.
Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Source: In response to Jack Nicklaus' query, "What kind of golfer are you?"; as quoted in "Aaron Has Career in Day" by the Associated Press, in The Atlanta Constitution (February 23, 1971)
Ref: en.wikiquote.org - Hank Aaron / Quotes

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”
"Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes" <!-- p. 72 -->
The Illiterate Digest (1924)
Context: The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.

“I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.”
Review http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/seven-days-in-utopia-2011 of Seven Days in Utopia (31 August 2011)
Reviews, One-star reviews

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA October 23 rally
2010s, 2016, October

Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA April 21, 2016 rally
2010s, 2016, April

End of World Golf Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech - October 2003 http://www.asapsports.com/show_interview.php?id=15370
Comedy Central Presents Jeff Stilson (2003)

The Doctor in The Enchanted: A Comedy in Three Acts, p. 6 (1950, as adapted by Maurice Valency).
“There has to be a better use for titanium than golf clubs.”
Source: Working Class Zero (2003), Chapter 19, p. 154

“[Golf/Goff] shots, nothing but [golf/goff] shots.”
Catch Phrases

2010s, 2015, Presidential Bid Announcement (June 16, 2015)

Source: My Years As Prime Minister (2007), Chapter Eight, Tales from the Nineteenth Hole, p. 198

Comments after missing the cut at the Bank of America Colonial PGA Tournament - May 2003 http://www.usatoday.com/sports/golf/pga/2003-05-23-colonial_x.htm
"August 8th — Earthstar," pages 157-158
The Forest Unseen: A Year's Watch in Nature http://theforestunseen.com/ (2012)

Dedication speech at the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst North Carolina, as quoted in The New York Times (12 September 1974)
1970s

As quoted in "Babe Ruth, Idle First time In 23 Years, Blames His Legs"

Essay The Bliss of Golf (1982), reprinted in Golf Dreams (1996)

“[playing golf with his friends]”
Here's Your Sign (1996)

After Roasting, Trump Reacts In Character
2011-05-01
New York Times
Michael
Barbaro
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/02/nyregion/after-roasting-trump-reacts-in-character.html
2011-05-06
on his opposition to same-sex marriage
2010s, 2011

“Golf always makes me so damned angry.”
Attributed

But he couldn't get me to change. In fact, Whitey told me just last year that I'd shut my eyes just before I lunged.
As quoted in "IT'S OUTTA HEEERRE!!!: A New Generation of Sluggers Invites Tape-Measure Comparisons" http://articles.latimes.com/1986-07-21/sports/sp-26487_1_home-run.
See also
Addams Family Values (1993)

On why she has done her best creative thinking while playing golf, as quoted in Time (12 May 1980)

“I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to go play golf.”
Trump used to have a slightly different opinion of presidents playing golf https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/13/trump-used-to-have-a-slightly-different-opinion-of-presidents-playing-golf/?utm_term=.d2f026a42e9c by Phillip Bump, Washington Post, August 8 Virginia rally (August 20, 2016)
2010s, 2016, August

As quoted in "The Sportlight" by Grantland Rice, in The Baltimore Sun (August 22, 1930), p. 13

1920s, The Democracy of Sports (1924)

“It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus.”
On winning his 70th PGA tournament, WINS Radio (May 28, 1984)

"Mother Earth Mother Board," cover story in Wired, 4.12 (1996)

" "We're Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore" In These Times (26 August 2004) http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/979/

On writing.
Booknotes http://www.booknotes.org/Transcript/index_print.asp?ProgramID=1107 television interview (July 5, 1992)

At a Conservative Way Forward event. http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/uk-business-is-too-lazy-and-fat-and-prefers-to-play-golf-says-liam-fox-tbqpt5r97 (September 10, 2016)
2016

As quoted in The Political Thought of Adlai E. Stevenson (1955) by William Robert Latimer, p. 89

“ Gold Is Not the Real Measure of a Nation http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/aug/25/olympics2008.china,” Guardian, August 25, 2008.
2000-09, 2008
[efprv2$bpa$1@reader1.panix.com, 2006]
2000s

The GOOD Guide to COP15: The Fire this Time: Copenhagen and the War for the Future, 18 November 2009 http://www.good.is/post/The-GOOD-Guide-to-COP15-The-Fire-this-Time-Copenhagen-and-the-War-for-the-Future/,

Remarks at the Disinvitation Dinner http://www.buckleyprogram.com/#!Transcript-of-George-Wills-Remarks-at-the-Disinvitation-Dinner/c18lp/i8sxengw20, William F. Buckley, Jr. Program at Yale (15 April 2015). Of his quip, Will remarked, "I simplify a bit and exaggerate somewhat."
2010s

http://www.melaniephillips.com/articles/archives/001420.html

“His theory of golf is, never play any sport that requires you to dress as your grandfather.”
Source: River of Gods (2006), Ch. 20 (p. 249).

“Golf is such a wonderful game, I love it to death.”
Charlie Sifford hailed by Tiger Woods and others for breaking golf barriers https://www.pga.com/news/pga/charlie-sifford-hailed-tiger-woods-and-others-breaking-golf-barriers by The Associated Press (November 18, 2014)

“The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.”
Bealby: A Holiday (1915)

“Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it”
http://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/sport-quotes/sports-quotes/golf-quotes/10/21/2011.
'Blinding white flash'
Essays and reviews, Glued to the Box (1983)

"Discoveries About Myself". Motion Picture, October 1930, pg. 90. (Brewster Publications). https://archive.org/stream/motionpicture1923040chic#page/n595/mode/2up

“He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.”
Attributed without citation in Young, David. Breakthrough Power for Golfers: A Daily Guide to an Extraordinary Life, Wind Runner Press, 2011. p. 189.

Part Troll (2004)

Though Woods might have used this phrase, it is one dating at least to the early 20th century; the earliest published use thus far located is in "Mr. Lyncargo's Professional, by Frank Savile, in The Badminton Magazine of Sports and Pastimes (1906), p. 498, where a character declares : "Life isn't all golf. There are other duties, sometimes."
Misattributed