Quotes about guys
page 13

Harlan Ellison photo
Ralph Bakshi photo
Bill Bryson photo
Tina Fey photo

“Brokeback Mountain was released last weekend. Its notable for being the first Western where the good guys get it in the end.”

Tina Fey (1970) American comedian, writer, producer and actress

citation needed

Lee Child photo
Kathy Griffin photo
George Carlin photo
Walter Scott photo

“Ah, County Guy, the hour is nigh,
The sun has left the lea.
The orange flower perfumes the bower,
The breeze is on the sea.”

Quentin Durward, Chap. iv.
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)

Margaret Cho photo
Kent Hovind photo
Fred Allen photo

“A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.”

Fred Allen (1894–1956) comedian

Attributed by Robert Lemke in The Sunday Press (Binghamton, NY), “Rock ‘n Roll ‘Musically Horrid” Says Ex-2-a-Dayer,” pg. 2-C, col. 1 (9 August 1959)

Brian Wilson photo
Emo Philips photo
Phil Brooks photo

“Punk: I'm not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say I've lost sight? I've lost sight of things, John? The reason I say I'm gonna take that and walk out is because I don't fit a certain mold. Because I am the underdog, and that's exactly what you've lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and you said they used to look at you and say that the kid couldn't hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can't hang. John, I was hanging off of your gangster car, WrestleMania 22, as it rolled down in Chicago, Illinois, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as [points to Vince McMahon] that man looks right now in his suit, holding a phony Tommy gun, and I said to myself someday, I'm not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be in the ring watching you go down to CM Punk. And now here we are in your hometown of Boston. And now next week, we'll be back there in my hometown—Chicago, Illinois. And this… this is the part where I talk 'em into the building. See, you are the one that's lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I'm not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I've lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for hustle, loyalty and respect; who, from Boston, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these red colors, the same colors as your beloved Red Sox, who also portray themselves as the underdog, I'm sure just like the Bruins portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Patriots think they're the underdog! Hey, how about those Celtics? Are they the underdogs too? Here's what you've lost sight of, John, and I'm really happy that your father and your wife are sitting in the front row so they can hear it!
John Cena: That's the last time I'm gonna tell you, man, ease up.
Punk: What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time WWE Champion! You're the man! You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees! [John immediately punches Punk, who scoots out of the ring, grabs the contract, and goes up the ramp. Points respectively to Vince and John] You're Steinbrenner, and you might as well be Jeter! Mr. 3000, I'm the underdog! [John's music plays for fourteen seconds] Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I'm positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because they wanna hear it! I'm glad you just punched me in the face, John. I'm glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning—exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It's because I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John, Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk! [Rips up the contract] I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.”

Phil Brooks (1978) American professional wrestler and mixed martial artist

July 11, 2011
WWE Raw

Mike Tyson photo

“My father was a pimp before he became a deacon or something. These people know how to handle women. I'm the worst guy in the world with women. They run circles around me.”

Mike Tyson (1966) American boxer

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/boxing/2005-06-02-tyson-saraceno_x.htm
On his family

Mark Steyn photo

“There's no fine line between "free speech" and "hate speech": Free speech is hate speech; it's for the speech you hate – and for all your speech that the other guy hates. If you don't have free speech, then you can't have an honest discussion.”

Mark Steyn (1959) Canadian writer

"Stay Quiet and You'll Be Okay" http://www.steynonline.com/6943/stay-quiet-and-youll-be-okay steynonline.com (9 May 2015)

Aaron Judge photo

“Getting my first chance to play in front of crowds like that, situations like that, is going to be huge for us going on. We have a lot of young guys on this team, and getting as far as we did is going to be beneficial down the road for us.”

Aaron Judge (1992) American baseball player

quoted by Newsday https://www.newsday.com/sports/aaron-judge-makes-spectacular-catch-but-falls-short-at-the-plate-in-yankees-game-7-loss-1.14574441

“My God, I heard this guy's albums for ages and finally to be able to look at him and see how he does it!”

Clare Fischer (1928–2012) American keyboardist, composer, arranger, and bandleader

On Walter Wanderley, circa 1965, as quoted by Claudio Slon in an April 1999 interview http://bjbear71.com/Slon/Interviews.html#Interviews on KUVO-FM

Carroll Baker photo
Gabrielle Roy photo
Roberto Clemente photo

“I see a lot of guys who look stylish at the plate, but they don't hit the ball very often.”

Roberto Clemente (1934–1972) Puerto Rican baseball player

Following up on manager Harry Walker's statement,"as long as he keeps hitting like he has, I'm not changing his style"; as quoted in "SPORTS BEAT: Bucco Ship Needs Clemente's Big Bat"
Baseball-related, <big><big>1960s</big></big>, <big>1965</big>

Bill Hicks photo
Lewis Black photo
Anne Bancroft photo
Mickey Spillane photo
Daniel Tosh photo

“Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, five guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…”

Daniel Tosh (1975) American stand-up comedian

Laugh Factory (2012); as quoted in "Daniel Tosh apologises for rape joke as fellow comedians defend topic" https://www.theguardian.com/culture/us-news-blog/2012/jul/11/daniel-tosh-apologises-rape-joke, Amanda Holpuch, The Guardian, 11, Jul 2012

Marc Maron photo
Bill Whittle photo
Brandon Boyd photo
Jimmy Hoffa photo

“Mob guys had muscle, and where in hell do you think employers got the tough guys when they wanted to break a strike?”

Jimmy Hoffa (1913–1982) American labor leader

Source: Hoffa The Real Story (1975), Chapter 5, The Spoiled Brat, p. 92

Donald J. Trump photo
Greg Giraldo photo

“There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.”

Greg Giraldo (1965–2010) American comedian

Midlife Vices (2009)

Alice Cooper photo

“To me, if you are in the same building with Peter Sellers or John Cleese, or any of those guys and holding your own making other people laugh, that’s a compliment.”

Alice Cooper (1948) American rock singer, songwriter and musician

On being on The Muppet Show.
KNAC interview (2005)

Kent Hovind photo
Paul Krugman photo

“…and Newt [Gingrich] — although somebody said "he’s a stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like," but he is more plausible than the other guys that they’ve been pushing up.”

Paul Krugman (1953) American economist

This Week with Christiane Amanpour http://www.mediaite.com/tv/paul-krugman-newt-gingrich-is-a-stupid-mans-idea-of-what-a-smart-person-sounds-like/, November 20, 2011

Nicholas Sparks photo
Dennis Miller photo

“Hey folks, tonight I wanna talk about global warming. Now, The World is Hot and Flat Society is growing increasingly hysterical and that indeed is causing me to sweat a little. In the last month or so, I've heard suggestions that those skeptical of Al Gore's spiritual crisis are deniers and one good way to serve the planet would be to have one less kid and I've also read that mankind is 'a virus' and human beings are 'the AIDS of the earth.' Global warming is officially becoming creepy and I can't tell yet if it's facisitc or fetishistic but it's kinda like piercing or tattoos, I don't even wanna get one, because I see how hooked people are and it spooks me. I just find it odd that we've come to a point in history where if I don't concede that if Manhattan will be completely submerged in 2057 I'm thought to be a delusional contrarian by some of my more zealous fellow citizens. I'm sorry Angst Squad, but if we commissioned a public works project (let's call it 'The Manhattan Project') and tried our hardest to submerge Manhattan in the next 50 years, we couldn't pull it off, mainly because it wouldn't be environmentally sound and you guys would hang it up in the permitting process. Simply put, I can't worry about the earth right now because I'm too worried about the world. Why can't I take terrorism as seriously as Al Gore takes global warming? There are times that you think that liberals only fear car bombs if they have leaky exhaust systems. And why am I constantly beaten over the head with 'the delicate balance of nature'? Am I the only one who watches Animal Planet? Every time I turn it on, I see some demented harp seal chucking peguins down his gullet like they were maitre d'Tic-Tacs. To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged eustachian tube. Listen, the weather is just like Hilary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? We're here to miss our next Tuesday's weather much less the year 2057. Relax, we'll replace oil when we need to. American ingenuity will kick in and the next great fortune will be made. It's not pretty, but it is historically accurate. We need to run out of oil first. That's why I drive an SUV: so we run out of it more quickly. I consider myself at the vanguard of the environmental movement and I think the individuals who insist on driving hybrids are just prolonging our dillemma and I think that's just selfish. Come on, don't you care about our Mother Earth? Don'tcha?”

Dennis Miller (1953) American stand-up comedian, television host, and actor

6/17 The Half Hour News Hour
The Buck Starts Here

Dylan Moran photo

“"I Know. I Know! Let's Go Potholing! In Croatia!" "Fine. I know a guy who can give us a lift… Me!"”

Dylan Moran (1971) Irish actor and comedian

Monster (2004)

Lewis Black photo
Bono photo
Judith Sheindlin photo

“Mr. Britton, don't be a wise guy, because I'm gonna mop up the floor with you if you're a wise guy to me. This is my playpen, not yours.”

Judith Sheindlin (1942) American lawyer, judge, television personality, and author

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLQ3fw-7_hA&feature=bf_next&list=UUNOaQAKNIBe0AHquR9ttP0g&lf=plcp
Quotes from Judge Judy cases, Being cocky

Max Barry photo
David Shuster photo

“Extremely surprised and impressed by the 'naked cowboy's' mayoral run. That guy knows the issues… despite his outfit or lack thereof.”

David Shuster (1967) American television journalist

10:30 PM - 22 Jul 09 http://twitter.com/DavidShuster/status/2784657909
On Twitter

Babe Ruth photo

“I can never forget how June's present husband, Harry Evans, suddenly came clomping down the hall of her apartment in his Army boots, fresh from the German front, around September 1945, and he was appalled to see us, six fullgrown people, all high on Benny sprawled and sitting and cat-legged on that vast double-doublebed of 'skepticism' and 'decadence', discussing the nothingness of values, pale-faced, weak bodies, Gad the poor guy said: 'This is what I fought for?”

Joan Vollmer (1923–1951) Common-law wife of William S. Burroughs

His wife told him to come down from his 'character heights' or some such.
In Jack Kerouac's last work (The Vanity of Duluoz), he describes the scene in the 119th street apartment as "a year of low, evil decadence", beginning near the close of 1944:
About

Ron White photo
David Cross photo
Smokey Robinson photo

“My girl has gone, and said goodbye.
Don't you cry, hold your head up high.
Don't give up, give love one more try,
'Cause there's a right girl for every guy.”

Smokey Robinson (1940) American R&B singer-songwriter and record producer

My Girl Has Gone, written by Smokey Robinson, Ronald White, Pete Moore, and Marvin Tarplin (1965)
Song lyrics, With The Miracles

Kurt Warner photo

“Whether I'm a Super Bowl Champion or a regular guy stocking groceries at the Hy-Vee, sharing my faith and glorifying Jesus is the central focus of my time on this earth.”

Kurt Warner (1971) American football quarterback

Kurt Warner's Testimony, November 16, 2008, Eadshome.com, July 19, 2006 http://www.eadshome.com/KurtWarner.htm,

Dane Cook photo
Josh Groban photo
Geoff Boycott photo

“He's a lovely guy, that Ricky Ponting. He likes the English so much he changed the series for them with the most stupid decision he'll ever make in his life.”

Geoff Boycott (1940) cricket player of England

On Ponting's decision to bowl at the crucial Edgbaston Ashes Test, 2005. Via Cricinfo http://www.cricinfo.com/quote/content/story/231681.html.

Griff Whalen photo

“I felt so much lighter. My joints felt smoother, everything felt better. I could run and breathe easier. … I’ve always been a guy who has done everything I can to help myself. Any little advantage I can find, I’m going to do it. I felt like this really gave me an edge. … It’s not too tough now. I would say the first six months, maybe a year, is pretty tough because you’re totally reprogramming what you look for to fill your plate up.”

Griff Whalen (1990) American Football player

About his switch to a vegan diet. "The Caw: Ravens WR Griff Whalen Is Vegan, and He May Be Converting Teammates", interview with BaltimoreRavens.com (29 August 2017) http://www.baltimoreravens.com/news/article-1/The-Caw-Ravens-WR-Griff-Whalen-Is-Vegan-and-He-May-Be-Converting-Teammates/faf72bc3-e894-45d0-bd98-44d387a039ea.

Margaret Cho photo
Goran Višnjić photo
Maddox photo

“No, I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm just a guy who's tired of the bullshit.”

Maddox (1978) American internet writer

The Best Page in the Universe

Sebastian Bach photo
Stephen Baxter photo
Mickey Spillane photo
Christopher Walken photo
James Comey photo
Ben Croshaw photo
Bill Mauldin photo
Kathy Griffin photo

“Straight guys, this is your section, wake up (clap clap).”

Kathy Griffin (1960) American actress and comedian

Whores on Crutches (2010)

Mike Tyson photo

“I lost my soul as a human being. I lost my self-respect. I'm not a lovable guy, so it's really not hard for people to dislike me.”

Mike Tyson (1966) American boxer

http://www.maxboxing.com/Goldman/eddieg071603.asp
On himself

Paul Keating photo

“John Howard turned the prime ministership into something like a state police minister. He's at the scene of every crime, twice a day on radio, the guy did no thinking.”

Paul Keating (1944) Australian politician, 24th Prime Minister of Australia

Referring to former Prime Minister of Australia John Howard, 7.30 Report, August 6, 2008. 7.30 Report Interview http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2008/s2326431.htm

Rick Warren photo

“The election's coming just in a couple of weeks, and I hope you're praying about your vote. One of the propositions, of course, that I want to mention is Proposition 8, which is the proposition that had to be instituted because the courts threw out the will of the people. And a court of four guys actually voted to change a definition of marriage that has been going for 5,000 years.
Now let me say this really clearly: we support Proposition 8 — and if you believe what the Bible says about marriage, you need to support Proposition 8. I never support a candidate, but on moral issues I come out very clear.
This is one thing, friends, that all politicians tend to agree on. Both John McCain and Barack Obama, I flat out asked them "what is your definition of marriage?" and they both said the same thing. It is the traditional, historic, universal definition of marriage: one man and one woman, for life. … There are about 2% of Americans are homosexual or gay, lesbian people. We should not let 2% of the population determine — to change a definition of marriage that has been supported by every single culture, and every single religion, for 5,000 years. … So I urge you to support Proposition 8, and pass that word on. I'm going to be sending out a note to pastors on what I believe about this, but everybody knows what I believe about it, and they heard me at the civil forum when I asked both Obama and McCain on their views.”

Rick Warren (1954) Christian religious leader

regarding California Proposition 8 to amend the state constitution to not recognize same-sex marriage, as quoted in "News & Views 10/23/2008 Part 3 (Prop 8)" in Pastor Rick's News and Views (23 October 2008) http://www.saddleback.com/blogs/newsandviews/index.html?contentid=1502

Paul Krugman photo
Pat Condell photo

“This guy (Pat Robertson) obviously wants to be a prophet so bad. I wonder if he walks around at home dressed up in a bed sheet, talking Aramaic, maybe parting the waters in the bathtub occasionally, just to keep in practice?”

Pat Condell (1949) Stand-up comedian, writer, and Internet personality

"Hook, line and rapture" (8 January 2008) http://youtube.com/watch?v=HXdwcIWIB_o
2008

Ray Comfort photo
Megan Mullally photo
Rex Ryan photo

“You guys know me, that I'm about as positive a guy as there is. I believe our team is better than every [expletive] team in the league. I believe our players are better than any players in the league, right? Those are true statements. That's how I believe.”

Rex Ryan (1962) American football coach

[Rex Ryan implores Jets to show leadership, http://espn.go.com/blog/afceast/post/_/id/17315/rex-ryan-implores-jets-to-show-leadership, ESPN, Graham, Tim, September 1, 2010, http://www.webcitation.org/5x45wBbAP, March 9, 2011, March 9, 2011]

Abby Stein photo
Billy Martin photo

“To keep the five guys who hate you away from the other five guys who are undecided.”

Billy Martin (1928–1989) American baseball player and coach

On the secrets of managing; as quoted in "Once Over Lightly" by Van Thomas, in The Longview News-Journal (March 5, 1974), p. 1-B

William Luther Pierce photo
Bill Engvall photo
Karl Pilkington photo

“You know that guy Richard Blackwood? He went in for a colonic, live TV. Never seen again.”

Karl Pilkington (1972) English television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer

On Medicine

John McCain photo

“Mike is the most entertaining, most knowledgeable, and most insightful guy I have ever dealt with. I am constantly entertained by him.”

John McCain (1936–2018) politician from the United States

As quoted in "Romney guru thrives in political 'show business'" https://web.archive.org/web/20060307070315/http://www.boston.com:80/news/politics/president/articles/2005/06/12/romney_guru_thrives_in_political_show_business/?page=full (12 June 2005), by Brian C. Mooney, The Boston Globe
2000s, 2005

David Carter photo
Donald J. Trump photo
Roger Manganelli photo
Tomoyuki Yamashita photo

“I was carrying out my duty, as the Japanese high commander of the Japanese Army in the Philippine Islands, to control my army with the best of my ability during wartime. Until now, I believe that I have tried my best for my army. As I said in the Manila Supreme Court that I have done everything with all my capacity, so I wouldn't be ashamed in front of the Gods for what I have done when I have died. But if you say to me "you do not have any ability to command the Japanese Army," I should say nothing in response, because it is my own nature. Now, our war criminal trial is going on in the Manila Supreme Court, so I wish to be justified under your kindness and righteousness. I know that all your American military affairs always have had tolerant and rightful judgment. When I had been investigated in the Manila court, I have had good treatment, a kind attitude from your good-natured officers who protected me all the time. I will never forget what they have done for me even if I die. I don't blame my executioners. I'll pray that the Gods bless them. Please send my thankful word to Col. Clarke and Lt. Col. Feldhaus, Lt. Col. Hendrix, Maj. Guy, Capt. Sandburg, Capt. Reel, at Manila court, and Col. Arnard. I thank you. I pray for the Emperor's long life and prosperity forever.”

Tomoyuki Yamashita (1885–1946) general in the Imperial Japanese Army

Last words. Quoted in "Yamashita Hanged Near Los Banos" - "New York Times" article - February 23, 1946.

John Byrne photo
Johnny Marr photo
Gloria Estefan photo
Bill O'Reilly photo
Grace Slick photo

“In Germany I ingested the entire contents of the hotel mini-bar before a show and stuck my fingers in this guy's nostrils because I thought they would fit.”

Grace Slick (1939) American musician, writer and painter

On this incident Paul Kantner remarked: "I remember one night in Germany she spotted a guy picking his nose and she jumped on the guys lap and picked his nose. Half of the audience was grossed out, the other half thought it was great. Hey, half isn't bad!"
Somebody to Love? (1998)

Lewis Black photo
Tucker Max photo

“Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee?
Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation.
Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee?
[The man and his wife are silent and confused. ]
Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!”

Tucker Max (1975) Internet personality; blogger; author

The Midget Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_midget_story.phtml,
The Tucker Max Stories

Harry Chapin photo
Axl Rose photo
Marshall McLuhan photo