Kim Harrison Quotes

“Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,” he said, very still and unmoving. “Always jumping to the wrong conclusion. You’re like a frog, you know.”

“Shouts of dismay rose as the red flesh splattered against the table. It was only a tomato, but one would think I was pulping a decaying heart by the noise the big, strong FIB officers were making.”

“I’ve got your back. Nothing alive will ever hurt you if I have breath in me. And nothing dead will hurt you if I don’t.” (Kisten)”

“I'd watch your mouth", he said, tilting his head as he looked at my ID."The last lunker who laughed at her picture spent the night in the emergency room with a drink umbrella jammed up his nose".”

“I am yours," Trent gasped through clenched teeth, and my hand sprang from him, thinking I was betrayed. Trent fell to a knee, looking up at me, pleading. "I. Am. Yours. Claim me, Rachel! Damn your morals and claim me!”

“And then there are the rare ones who know love, who understand it. Who freely give of themselves, demanding only a return of that love, that trust.”

“It's easier to find a way to make money at something you love than to learn to love a job that you can make money at.”

“Rachel, my itchy witch," Al said as he tugged the lace at his cuffs. "We've talked about this. You simply must stop collecting nasty little men. How many do you really need, love?”

“I cannot stay," he lied for me, eyes averted. "I'm only going to be here for a time, then leave you." His gaze met mine. "And I will cry when I go, because I could love you forever.”

“It is not always what we do, Sa'han, but who we love that makes us who we are. Quen”

“Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila, maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.”

“The undead did not love, but they remembered love with a savage loyalty.”

“Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it.”

“Plan B?' Ivy said. 'What is plan B?'
Jenks reddened. 'Grab the fish and run like hell,' he muttered, and I almost giggled.”

“Maybe he thinks he can rescue me? No one is that stupid.”

“What are you?" I rasped.
It smiled. "Whatever scares you.”

“I told you, computers are like women. If you shout at them or ask them to do too many things at once, they shut down and you won't even get a sniff" pg. 4”

“The mistakes don't matter. It's what you do when you mess up that does.”

“Oh for the sweet humpin' love of Tink! ~ Jenks”

“Most of the upper management of I. S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul.”

“You try getting through the Hollows traffic with a stoned redhead hanging out the window shouting, 'I'm king of the world!' ~Lee”

“As the joke goes, you don’t have to be faster than the wolf chasing you, just faster than everyone else running away.”

“You need a new hobby, Rachel. Something other than nasty little men with visions of world domination.”

“My mother isn't crazy. She simply has a harder time than most reconciling her reality with everyone else's reality.”

“Endings are not always bad. Most times they're just beginnings in disguise.”

“Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.”

“I only snatched him to get your attention,” I said. “Now that I’ve got it, this is what I want.”
“Damn my dame!” Al shouted, hands raised to the ceiling. “I knew it! Not another list!”

“Hey, you freakin' bastard," I breathed. "You hit me again and I'll take care of your family planning.”

“I was cold, hungry, and in a hole in the ground. But at least I had my elven porn, damnit!”

“Just so you know, I’ve trusted you since camp.”

“What are you doing in Nicky's room, Rachel? Oooh! He summoned you to the west coast, didn't he? Did you kill him? Good for you taking care of that little problem? I should give you a bunny!" - Algaliarept”

“Ivy turned. 'He bit you on the neck?' she said, deadpan serious but for her eyes. 'Oh, then it's got to be love. She won't let me bite her neck.”

“Go to sleep, baby, Mama will sing. Of blue butterflies, and dragonfly wings. Moonlight and sunbeams, raiment so fine. Silver and gold, for baby of mine. Go to sleep, baby. Sister will tell, of wolves and of lambs, and demons who fell.”

“Ivy!' I stammered, then glared at Kisten. 'You told Ivy? Thanks a hell of a lot. Want to call my mom next?”

“No, you just keep crashing my life. Look—" I said, and Al grunted.
"Here it comes," the demon muttered. "Listen. Listen to this, runt. She's going to have a list.”

“One person can't hold anything, but two can have the world…”

“Tears could not be equal, if I wept diamonds from the skies.
Jenks (Black Magic Sanction)”

“God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I'm being this stupid! (Ron)”

“the mad have a grace all their own”

“Sure, he had a wife and fifty-four kids, but he looked like a college freshman. A yummy college freshman majoring in Oh-my-god-I-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.”

“You look like the vamp who bled the cat.”

“But he's Rachel Candy!"
-Both Jenks and Al”

“You think Ivy's a planner? She has nothing on a motivated elf with too much money.”

“Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another.”

“I won’t snatch, harm, or scare to death people with you or use checking up on you as an excuse to cause trouble. You’re worse than my mother, Rachel.”
“Mine, too,” Jenks muttered.”

“Al was looking at me in disbelief. “Not your lover?”
“No.”
“But he is Rachel candy,” Al said, his confusion too honest to be faked.”

“You had this all planned, didn’t you?' I accused. 'Thought you could come in here and seduce me like you do everyone else?' It wasn’t as if I could be angry, lying atop him as I was, but I tried.”

“We were innocent once. How could it have gone so bad?”

“You cannot thrash the person who makes you coffee. It's a rule somewhere.”

“Rachel, what do you do? Put an ad in the paper for trouble?
(Glenn)”

“The car was full of unhappy people heading west. It was the Great American Family Road Trip, all right. Whaaa-hoo!”

“Breaking rules isn't bad when what you're doing is more important than the rule itself”

“Nothing is so hard that it can't be found by searching.”

“You think my kids just popped out of the ground?”

“Rachel?” came Ivy’s voice from her room. “Where’s my sword?”
“In the foyer where you left it last week when the evangelists were canvassing the neighborhood”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt some sort of dominance foreplay?”

“Knowledge is Power. Ignorance is Bliss. But curiosity—even if it had killed the cat—is king.”

“Typical" Kisten said, his eyes dramatically sad. "Try to do something nice for a person, cheer her up, and what do I get? Abused and robbed.”

“Sweet mother of chaos," he breathed. "Rachel, you are indeed one of us. Have your time in the sun. You're worth the extra wait.”

“Making a spell is easy. It's trusting you did it right that's hard.”

“Like the end of a picnic, all the weenies will be roasted.”