10:29
A Little Unprofessional
Famous Ron White Quotes
Maybe I should've told my story first.
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again
They Call Me Tater Salad
Variant: I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Source: I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability
Ron White Quotes
Source: I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability
“You ever smoke so much pot your wife starts to make sense? Me neither.”
A Little Unprofessional
They Call Me Tater Salad
They Call Me Tater Salad
A Little Unprofessional
They Call Me Tater Salad
They Call Me Tater Salad
Behavioral Problems
You Can't Fix Stupid
They Call Me Tater Salad
“[on vegetarianism] I didn't climb to the top of the fuckin' food chain to eat carrots.”
They Call Me Tater Salad
It's a busy couch.
Behavioral Problems
They Call Me Tater Salad
“I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.”
They Call Me Tater Salad
Behavioral Problems
He goes, "READ FASTER!!"
They Call Me Tater Salad
I hate him. He smokes pot. He burned a hole in my other jacket.
They Call Me Tater Salad
He said, "No, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause, applause) ...I did not know that about myself."
You Can't Fix Stupid
A Little Unprofessional
They Call Me Tater Salad
They Call Me Tater Salad
Behavioral Problems
“I get that Speedo on, it looks like a rubber band stretched over a head of cauliflower.”
They Call Me Tater Salad
“I was more fucked-up than Courtney Love at the Pamela Anderson roast!”
You Can't Fix Stupid
“Don't drink and drive. That's what they say. They also say, friends don't let friends drive drunk.”
Well, which one is it? Somebody's gotta drive.
Source: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018 Netflix special)
Source: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018 Netflix special)
Till shit started hitting our house, then I was like, "FUCK THIS!"
They Call Me Tater Salad