“To the troops. [Audience cheers as he drinks scotch]”

Behavioral Problems

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Ron White45

American comedian 1956

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“If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.”

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Source: The Kite Runner: A Portrait of the Marc Forster Film

“I got my wife breast implants for her birthday. I've never been a big fan of plastic surgery, but I gotta admit, I've had a lot of fun playing with these things. I haven't given them to her yet…[Audience cheers] I just keep 'em on my tour bus and just rub 'em in my face…I'm glad they clean up easy. [Audience groans] WHAT?! I'm just glad they are not made out of corduroy, that's all I'm saying! I'd have to have 'em Scotchgarded. [imitates spraying Scotchgard on implants] I find it a little ironic that the product that I use to keep from ruining my sofa should spill my drink on it is actually called…Scotch-guard. [Audience cheers] Sometimes, things just work out perfect, don't they? "Yeah, I'm looking for a product that'll protect my sofa should I spill my Scotch on it. What'd ya have?" [imitates clerk turning to look at stock] "We've got Scotch-guard." "Yeah, let's go with that. Do you have Vodka-guard? How about Sperm-guard?"”

Ron White (1956) American comedian

It's a busy couch.
Behavioral Problems

“Are there any paranoids in the audience tonight? (the crowd cheers) Is there anyone who worries about things? (the crowd cheers again) Pathetic. This is for all the weak people in the audience! Is there anyone here who's weak? (the crowd cheers once more) This is for you, it's called Run Like Hell! (the song starts)”

Roger Waters (1943) English songwriter, bassist, and lyricist of Pink Floyd

During the Los Angeles performance of "The Wall" at the Los Angeles Arena, California, February 1980
Miscellaneous

“I celebrated my 21st birthday here, and that was the last time I drank in El Paso. [Audience cheers] You folks don't mess around, you know? Everyone was going, "It's your birthday," I was like, "It's my birthday!" "Do you want a drink?" "SUUURRREE!" And I kept drinking and drinking and drinking, and then the staff asked me, "Do you want to party?" I was like, [Slurring]"I want to party." "Do you want to dance?" [Slurring] "I wanna dance!" I passed out, you guys, and woke up at a place called the O. P. [Audience laughs and cheers] Yeah, the reason you people in El Paso are laughing is because you KNOW! I had no idea it was an "Alternative" night club. I'm from L. A., I thought O. P. stood for: Orale pues! That is a bad way to sober up, you guys. I'm just dancing, you know [Imitates beat-box music] Boom, boom, boom, hey! Boom, boom, boom, hey! Boom, boom, boom- [Jumps like something's behind him] HEY! [Audience laughs] And behind me was this little guy going, [Little effeminate voice] "Pikachu!"”

Gabriel Iglesias (1976) American actor

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“You gotta make your own fun (Audience member cheers). That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.”

Dave Attell (1965) comedian

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“Well, between Scotch and nothin', I suppose I’d take Scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.”

William Faulkner (1897–1962) American writer

Source: As quoted in National Observer (3 February 1964)

“An umbrella is of no avail against a Scotch mist.”

James Russell Lowell (1819–1891) American poet, critic, editor, and diplomat

On a Certain Condesceneion in Foreigners
Literary Essays, vol. III (1870-1890)

“He who kills the cheer springs for beer.”

Jim Butcher book Day Off

The Dresden Files short stories, Day Off

“Although he had plenty of troops he did not have many men.”

Herodotus book Histories

Book 7, Ch. 210.
The Histories

“I have signifying of Three manners of Cheer of our Lord. The first is Cheer of Passion, as He shewed while He was here in this life, dying. Though this Beholding be mournful and troubled, yet it is glad and joyous: for He is God. — The second manner of Cheer is Ruth and Compassion: and this sheweth He, with sureness of Keeping, to all His lovers that betake them to His mercy. The third is the Blissful Cheer, as it shall be without end: and this was oftenest and longest-continued.”

Julian of Norwich (1342–1416) English theologian and anchoress

The Sixteenth Revelation, Chapter 71

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