“It was a universal truth among males that anytime you saw a guy get it in the nuts, you experienced a shot of phantom pain in your own croquet set.”

“A guy needs somebody―to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. Don't make no difference who the guy is, long's he's with you. I tell ya, I tell ya a guy gets too lonely an' he gets sick.”

“Everything that ever happened to you, you experienced right within you. Light and darkness, pain and pleasure, agony and ecstasy—all of it happened within you. If someone touches your hand right now, you may think you are experiencing their hand, but the fact of the matter is you are only experiencing the sensations in your own hand. The whole experience is contained within. All human experience is one hundred percent self-created.”

“If you want to live within the definition of your own truth, you have to choose to go through the initially painful and ultimately comforting process of finding it.”

“Because even though the truth can set you free, that doesn't mean it won't be painful.”

“Was it frisson when you saw a guy smile and it made your heart act all weird?”

“The truth will set you free. Either that or it'll get you a punch in the nose.”

“If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.”

“There's two approved methods for getting a pedicure for a guy. Number one, you use your own grinder or…You have an eighteen year-old Vietnamese girl rub your feet and call you "Joe" and that's it!”

“Belane, are you nuts?"
Who knows? Insanity is comparative. Who sets the norm?”