Jonathan Swift cytaty

strona 2

„Najlepszymi lekarzami na świecie są: doktor dieta, doktor spokój i doktor dobry humor.”

„Tak bardzo się lubimy, ponieważ nasze dolegliwości są takie same.”

„Prawo jest jak pajęczyna, w której małe muchy grzęzną, a osy i trzmiele przez nią przelatują.”

„Kiedy na świecie zjawia się prawdziwy geniusz, poznać go po tym, że wszystkie tępaki sprzysięgają się przeciw niemu.”

„Słonia przeważnie rysuje się mniejszego, niż jest w rzeczywistości, a pchłę większą.”

„Im więcej przyzwyczajeń, tym mniej niezależności.”

„Brak wiary to wada, którą należy ukrywać, jeśli nie można się z nią uporać.”

„Stoicka zasada zaspokajania potrzeb poprzez rezygnację z pragnień jest jak amputacja stóp po to, by nie potrzebować butów.”

„Życie jest komedią dla tych, którzy patrzą, a tragedią dla tych, którzy czują.”

„Wenus, dobra i piękna pani, była boginią miłości. Junona, straszliwa megiera, boginią małżeństwa. Zawsze były zaprzysiężonymi wrogami.”

„Ludzie godzą się, by śmiano się z ich dowcipu, ale nie z ich głupoty.”

„Mówią, że palce były przed widelcem, a ręce przed nożem.”

„Kiedy ludzie z wiekiem stają się cnotliwi, po prostu poświęcają Bogu to, co pozostawił diabeł.”

„Przyczyna, że tak niewiele małżeństw jest szczęśliwych, polega na tym, że większość dziewcząt więcej czasu poświęca zastawianiu sideł niż budowaniu klatek.”

„Nie wiemy, co robi się w niebie, ale wiemy, czego się nie robi: nikt się tam nie żeni ani nie jest do ożenku zmuszany.”

„Z człowiekiem jest jak z polem – czasem biegnie przez nie żyła złota, ale właściciel nic o tym nie wie.”

“Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.”

“Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.”

“That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.”

“We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.”

“If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.”

“Some men, under the notion of weeding out prejudice, eradicate virtue, honesty and religion.”

“The latter part of a wise man’s life is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former.”

“Ever eating, never cloying,
All-devouring, all-destroying
Never finding full repast,
Till I eat the world at last.”

“Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine.”

“A soldier is a "Yahoo" hired to kill in cold blood as many of his own Species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can.”

“This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.”

“The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.”

“I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.”

“Men are contented to be laughed at for their wit, but not for their folly.”

“Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.”

“It is impossible that any thing so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind.”

“I mean you lie—under a mistake.”

“That's as well said, as if I had said it myself.”

“There is, indeed, no wild beast more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate.”

“Bread is the staff of life.”

“Tis very warm weather when one's in bed.”

“This evil fortune, which generally attends extraordinary men in the management of great affairs, has been imputed to divers causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a one occurs, if what a certain writer observes be true, that when a great genius appears in the world the dunces are all in confederacy against him.”

“She looks as if butter wou'dn't melt in her mouth.”

“He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.”

“A set of phrases learnt by rote;
A passion for a scarlet coat;
When at a play to laugh, or cry,
Yet cannot tell the reason why:
Never to hold her tongue a minute;
While all she prates has nothing in it.”

“I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.”

“Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud, and Pride and Hunger will ever be at Variance.”

“Those dreams that on the silent night intrude,
And with false flitting shapes our minds delude
… are mere productions of the brain.
And fools consult interpreters in vain.”

“And he gave it for his opinion, that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.”