“Twice we stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twice
we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too
stupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day. But we
got it all wrong.”

“don't you think between here and now we will see each other once or twice?”

“My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.”

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”

“I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not.”

“The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.”

“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”

“Salmon. Salmon, salmon, salmon, salmon. I eat so much salmon at these weddings, twice a year I get this urge to swim upstream.”

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”

“All alone in a foreign land,
I am twice as homesick on this day
When brothers carry dogwood up the mountain,
Each of them a branch—and my branch missing.”