Robert Charles Benchley was an American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor. From his beginnings at The Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker and his acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from his peers at the Algonquin Round Table in New York City to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.
Benchley is best remembered for his contributions to The New Yorker, where his essays, whether topical or absurdist, influenced many modern humorists. He also made a name for himself in Hollywood, when his short film How to Sleep was a popular success and won Best Short Subject at the 1935 Academy Awards. He also made many memorable appearances acting in films such as Alfred Hitchcock's Foreign Correspondent and Nice Girl? . His legacy includes written work and numerous short film appearances.
Wikipedia
“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”
Source: "Quick Quotations" in My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
Context: The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn’t make any sense if quoted as it stands.
Quoted in The Algonquin Wits, (1968) by R E Drennan, p. 5
“The only cure for a real hangover is death.”
"Coffee Versus Gin", My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
“In America there are two classes of travel — first class, and with children.”
Source: "Kiddie-Kar Travel", Pluck and Luck (1925) http://books.google.com/books?id=ODtLAAAAIAAJ&q=%22In+America+there+are+two+classes+of+travel+first+class+and+with+children%22&pg=PA6#v=onepage; also in D.A.C. News http://www.dacnews.com/, September 1923 http://books.google.com/books?id=uLl9ULzkvikC&q=%22Kiddie+kar+travel%22&pg=PA27#v=onepage
“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”
As quoted in With Truth as Our Sword (2005) by C E Sylvester, p. 205
Vanity Fair (February 1920)
Variant: There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not.
Context: There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not. Both classes are extremely unpleasant to meet socially, leaving practically no one in the world whom one cares very much to know.
Quoted in The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom (1958) by Herbert Victor Prochnow, p. 129
"How to Get Things Done", Chips off the old Benchley (1949)
"What Does It Mean?" in After 1903 — What? (1938)
Vanity Fair (February 1920)
Source: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/02/07/two-classes/
"The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth", in Love Conquers All (1922)
Context: The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of words than "The doctor will see you now." I am willing to concede something to the phrase "Have you anything to say before the current is turned on?" That may be worse for the moment, but it doesn't last so long. For continued, unmitigating depression, I know nothing to equal "The doctor will see you now." But I'm not narrow-minded about it. I'm willing to consider other possibilities.
LIFE magazine (8 March 1929)
Context: Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. It is especially valuable in this respect in serious writing, and no one without a sense of humor should ever write seriously. For without knowing what is funny, one is constantly in danger of being funny without knowing it.
Quoted in Robert Benchley (1955) by Nathaniel Benchley, ch. 1
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”
"Your Boy and His Dog," Liberty magazine, (30 July 1932)
Also published in Chips Off the Old Benchley http://books.google.com/books?id=1-gHw9bqQqAC&q=%22A+dog+teaches+a+boy+fidelity+perseverance+and+to+turn+around+three+times+before+lying+down%22&pg=PA94#v=onepage (1949)
My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
"Measure Your Mind", in Love Conquers All (1922)
"The Children’s Hour" in My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
"Ask That Man" in Pluck and Luck (1925)
“The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.”
Quoted by James Thurber in The Bermudian (November 1950)
“Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”
Spoken to Ginger Rogers in the film, The Major and the Minor (1942)
"What — No Budapest", My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
LIFE magazine (14 April 1921)
“I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.”
Quoted in The Algonquin Wits, (1968) by R E Drennan, p. 5
As quoted in The Routledge Dictionary of Quotations : A Dictionary of Quotations (1987) by Robert Andrews, p. 154
"Stop Those Hiccoughs!", My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew (1936)
To a friend who had told him that his particular drink was slow poison, as quoted in Robert Benchley (1955) by Nathaniel Benchley, ch. 1.
