Paul DiLascia Quotes

“To be honest, there's something a little weird about this.”

“…this baroque language…”

“.. play Beethovens Fifth Symphony if the user clicks the control that contains 'Da-da-da-dum”

“The question remains: how?”

“…yucky assembly language mucky-muck.”

“Reusability, man. (1995/10)”

“A bug! A bug! Isn’t it just so satisfying to discover bugs in other people’s programs? Especially people from Microsoft. I don’t know why, it’s probably some kind of Freudian code-envy thing.”

“Does that remind you of anything? No? Give up?”

“If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know who wrote it”

“… you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)”

“The implementation is brainless (various)”

“…a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy…”

“You can't expect me to do everything.”

“.. I'll be laughing when I'm old and and all my programmer friends have gone alexic from staring at too many tiny pixels”

“.. sometimes you have to be bad”

“Stop beating your head, you might hurt yourself.”

“Like I said, you're damned either way. (1993/10)”

“So? If you don't like it, write your own [program].”

“… I hate typing… (1993/6)”

“… why are you doing these things? Don't. (1993/12)”

“Everything is hunky-dory and your program works fine.”

“…a little-known piece of C++ trivia you can use to impress your friends and loved ones.”

“.. even MSJ readers will tire of watching Bill Gates adjust his glasses.”

“…everything I've said so far is fine and dandy…”

“What are you doing, anyway? Writing code for IBM?”

“I was once hired to develop a Windows-based chemistry library for a company that builds reactors that burn toxic metal waste into harmless substances (really).”

“Pretty simple. Except for one little problem: it doesn't work!”

“But hey, I only work here. Besides, it works.”

“Sometimes it really is easy to program MFC”

“…perhaps this is a "feature", not a bug….”

“I'm a nit, what can I say? (1994/12)”

“We've use a number of different adjectives to describe Span, but "cool" has never been one of them.”

“…blathering store clerks who can't stop saying "Have a nice day"…”

“…the harmony of the universe is preserved…”

“… [some code] looks disgusting, but that's life. (1993/6)”

“That's left as an exercise for the reader.”

“It may seem kludgy, but hey - it works! (1994/3)”

“.. your two-year-old could've done that with one thumb in her mouth.”

“… your 90MHz Pentium won't have any trouble doing arithmetic (except for certain divisions).”

“Don't do it! (1993/10)”

“Isn't C++ wonderful?.”

“Well bowl me over and turn me into a pumpkin! Scrape me off the pavement and fetch my asbestos anti-flame suit, quick!”