Quotes about toaster

A collection of quotes on the topic of toaster, living, other, going.

Quotes about toaster

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

Clint Eastwood (1930) actor and director from the United States

“Well, I'll tell you a little bit about myself, uh, my brother's a doctor and my sister's an attorney, and I hate Thanksgiving. Last year, we're sitting around the dining room table, and my brother tells a story about all the neat lives he's saved. My sister tells a story about winning a lawsuit for an orphanage to help the children. Then my mom goes, (archly) "Well, Ron? Is there anything new with your career?" And I go, "Yeah! I got a new bit about sticking my pecker in a toaster!"”

Ron White (1956) American comedian

Maybe I should've told my story first.
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

Hate, Children, Moms, Sister

“Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube is a Gelatinous Cube?”

Cassandra Clare book City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Fallen Angels

“What I think is all I have left. My mind is the only thing that makes me different from a fancy toaster. What we think does matter-it's all we truly have.”

Mary E. Pearson (1955) young-adult fiction writer

Source: The Fox Inheritance

Thinking

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Rodney Dangerfield (1921–2004) American actor and comedian

Funny, Hate, Parent

“Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.”

Christopher Moore (1957) American writer of comic fantasy

Source: You Suck

“Never put a sock in a toaster.”

Eddie Izzard (1962) British stand-up comedian, actor and writer

“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

“Ian sighed wanly. "I once had the means to be gaga over art–before I found myself in a country where the standard of beauty is toaster waffles shaped like cartoon characters.”

Gordon Korman book The Medusa Plot

Source: The Medusa Plot

Beauty, Art, Country

“Androids (i. e., artificial humans) tend to blur the line between living and non-living. Especially in a case like the Human Torch, where his origin tends to establish him as something much more than a clever assemblage of non-organic parts. The “instability” which originally caused him to burst into flame spontaneously indicates there’s an unknown factor involved. Push come to shove, I would put Jim Hammond into his own category, and grant that, altho he is “not of woman born,” he is, in a true sense, alive. In other words, not a toaster.”

John Byrne (1950) American author and artist of comic books

2006
http://www.byrnerobotics.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15591
The humanity of the original Human Torch

Sense, Parting

“Oh, the tragedy and the anguish. You just gotta Rage Against the Appliance, man. The toast is burning and you just gotta rip it out and free it before it fills the house with smoke. Rage Against the Toaster.”

Beck (1970) American Musician (b.1970)

Spin magazine, July 1994

Rage, Housing

“So then God created the world, and on the first day he created light and air and fish and jam and soup and potatoes and haircuts and arguments and small things and rabbits and people with noses and jam – more jam, perhaps – and soot and flies and tobogganing and showers and toasters and grandmothers and, uh … Belgium. And the second day he created fire and water and eggnog and radiators and lights and Burma and things that go "urh" and … and Colonel Gaddafi and Arthur Negus. On the third day he probably got lists and said, "I can't remember what I've invented now. I've just been ad-libbing so far."”

Eddie Izzard (1962) British stand-up comedian, actor and writer

Glorious (1997)

God, People, World, Fish

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Joan Rivers (1933–2014) American comedian, actress, and television host

As quoted in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2003), by R. Byrne, 94

Funny, Baby

“The question becomes, I suppose, one of value. Knowing that the Vision’s complete personality/memory/intelligence was downloaded into a computer in Titan (was it Titan? Memory blurs) allowed me to scrape his brain in my VisionQuest story, since everything could be restored with a literal flip of a switch. Should something that can be so easily copied and retrieved be treated as having the same intrinsic value as a human being? Should any of the human Avengers, for instance, ever risk their lives on behalf of the Vision? My vote would be no (as some of you have probably already guessed)—but I would say that even if it were not possible to restore or “save” the Vision in any other way. He is a “toaster.””

John Byrne (1950) American author and artist of comic books

2006
http://www.byrnerobotics.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15591
The humanity of the Vision, an android hero whose body was once the original Human Torch

Way, Intelligence, Question, Memory

“Most heterosexual people in this country, and around the world, meet each other, and get together with one another when they’re totally, totally drunk. Smashed out of their minds they could not spell their own face. And they go home with that person! And you might spend months with that person, or a year, or you might have a family! This is what happens, this is how you meet. But you wouldn’t buy a toaster when you’re drunk, ‘cause that’s too important. It's got to be crispy in just the right way, hasn't it?”

Dylan Moran (1971) Irish actor and comedian

On starting relationship.
Like, Totally (2006)

People, World, Family, Way

“My area of research is something that in all fairness has no practical usability whatsoever and the thing is I'm often asked to apologize for that. It is interesting to me that people ask 'what's the point of doing that if it's not useful?' But they never ask that, or do they very rarely ask that about art or literature or music. Those things are not gonna produce a better toaster.”

Lawrence M. Krauss (1954) American physicist

Interview with Richard Dawkins (5:12) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLctxRf7duU

People, Art, Music, Literature

“I foresee great refinements in the field of short-pulse microwave signaling, whereby several simultaneous programs may occupy the same channel, in sequence, with incredibly swift electronic communication; vastly important developments in microwave technique, whereby present clumsy connecting leads between wall or floor sockets and electric devices like toasters and vacuum sweepers may become unnecessary; gigantic magnetrons and klystrons, or their successors, will generate megawatts in microwaves; living rooms and their occupants will be heated by high-frequency waves from walls or ceilings; short waves will be generally used in the kitchen for roasting and baking, almost instantaneously”

Lee De Forest (1873–1961) American inventor

"Dawn of the Electronic Age" http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2006/03/20/dawn-of-the-electronic-age/, Popular Mechanics, January 1952

Communication

“You can converge a toaster and refrigerator, but these things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user.”

Tim Cook (1960) American business executive

During the Q & A session after an earnings call http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/apples-chiefs-offhand-comment-spawns-internet-tribute/ (2012-04-24) <br class="br">Cook was asked about converging touch- and mouse-based operating systems into one product, like Microsoft's Windows 8.

“We’re apes. We think we’re all sophisticated with our toaster ovens and designer footwear, but we’re just a bunch of finely ornamented apes. And because we are apes, we instinctually measure ourselves against others and vie for status. The question is not whether we evaluate ourselves against others; rather, the question is by what standard do we measure ourselves?”

Mark Manson (1984) American writer and blogger

Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (2016), Chapter 4, “The Value of Suffering” (pp. 77-78)

Question, Thinking

“No machine can daydream. When they’re not switched on, they’re as cold as a toaster in a midnight kitchen.”

John Twelve Hawks book Spark

Spark (2014)

“Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.”

Douglas Coupland (1961) Canadian novelist, short story writer, playwright, and graphic designer

Forgetting, Nature