“Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.”
Source: Many Bloody Returns
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Jim Butcher 383
American author 1971Related quotes

“I’m so tired… I was up all night trying to round off infinity.”

An interview, Pinstripe Magazine, February 7, 2011. http://www.pinstripemag.com/2011/02/alyson-michalka-complex-magazine-interview.html.

Variant of:
I wish I could drink like a lady.
“Two or three,” at the most.
But two, and I’m under the table—
And three, I'm under the host.
The Harlequin, Volume 2, 1959, University of Virginia (page ? http://books.google.com/books?id=zdFKAAAAYAAJ&q=%22under+the+table%22+%22under+the+host%22)
Perhaps attributed due to “One more drink and I'd have been under the host.” (see above).
“ Martini Madness: Dorothy Parker didn’t write the famous quatrain about martinis that’s always attributed to her. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/drink/features/2013/martini_madness_tournament/sweet_16/dorothy_parker_martini_poem_why_the_attribution_is_spurious.html”, Troy Patterson, Slate, April 8, 2013
Misattributed
Variant: One martini. Two at the most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host!
Source: The Collected Dorothy Parker

"Nicolas Cage Is Ready to Be Taken Seriously Again" in Vanity Fair https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/07/nicolas-cage-pig-interview (15 July 2021)