“Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.”

—  Jim Butcher

Source: Many Bloody Returns

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Jim Butcher photo
Jim Butcher 383
American author 1971

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“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.”

Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist

Variant of:
I wish I could drink like a lady.
“Two or three,” at the most.
But two, and I’m under the table—
And three, I'm under the host.
The Harlequin, Volume 2, 1959, University of Virginia (page ? http://books.google.com/books?id=zdFKAAAAYAAJ&q=%22under+the+table%22+%22under+the+host%22)
Perhaps attributed due to “One more drink and I'd have been under the host.” (see above).
“ Martini Madness: Dorothy Parker didn’t write the famous quatrain about martinis that’s always attributed to her. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/drink/features/2013/martini_madness_tournament/sweet_16/dorothy_parker_martini_poem_why_the_attribution_is_spurious.html”, Troy Patterson, Slate, April 8, 2013
Misattributed
Variant: One martini. Two at the most. Three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host!
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