Famous Wilson Mizner Quotes
Gene Fowler, as quoted by Anita Loos, Kiss Hollywood Goodbye, Viking Press, New York, 1974, ISBN 0-670-41374-7.
About
“It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.”
On his later respectability.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Wisecracks
“Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.”
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Epigrams
On his deathbed.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
On Death and Dying
“To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.”
Quoted by John Burke, Rogue's Progress, G. P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1975, ISBN 0-399-11423-8.
Wisecracks
Wilson Mizner Quotes
“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Epigrams
“When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.”
Quoted in Alva Johnston's The Legendary Mizners (1953, Farrar Straus and Young, New York, chapter 4, p 66) and Bartlett's, 1992, p. 631.
Also quoted as If you copy from one author, it's plagiarism. If you copy from two, it's research by Stuart B. McIver in Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags.
Epigrams
“I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.”
On his deathbed.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
On Death and Dying
“Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.”
Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
About
“…a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.”
On Hollywood.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Wisecracks
“Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.”
Telegram to his brother, upon the news that Addison was fatally ill.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
On Death and Dying
“Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.”
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Epigrams
“Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up.”
On hearing that his prizefighter, Stanley Ketchel, was dying of gunshot wounds.
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
On Death and Dying
“Be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet them on the way down.”
Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
Epigrams
“A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.”
"Maxims Old and New", All of a Piece: New Essays https://books.google.com/books?id=4vEQAAAAMAAJ&focus=searchwithinvolume&q=%22A+fellow+who+is+always+declaring+he%27s+no+fool+usually+has+his+suspicions.%22 (1937), edited by Edward Verrall Lucas, p. 52.
Epigrams
“America's most fascinating outlaw.”
Anita Loos, as quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. ISBN 1-56164-034-4.
About
“Harry Thaw shot the wrong architect.”
Disparaging the work of Joseph Urban, his brother Addison's architectural rival. Harry Thaw was a wealthy man of the times who had shot and killed architect Stanford White over his earlier involvement with Thaw's wife Evelyn Nesbit.
Quoted by Alva Johnston, The Legendary Mizners, 1953, Farrar Straus and Young, New York. Johnston allows that the quote has been attributed to many others, but makes a good case that Mizner said it first.
Wisecracks
“Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.”
Quoted by Anita Loos, Kiss Hollywood Goodbye, Viking Press, New York, 1974, ISBN 0-670-41374-7. Loos goes on to claim that "the aphorism had no validity for Wilson."
Epigrams
