William Goldman Quotes

“He had risked his life and now it was walking away from him, hand-in-hand with a Ruffian prince.”

“Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.”

“This was after stew. But then, so is everything. When the first man crawled out of the slime and went to make his home on land, what he had for dinner that night was stew.”

“Miracle Max: Have fun stormin' da castle.
Valerie: Think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.”

“I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.”

“The Princess Bride
S. Morgenstern's
Classic Tale of True Love
and High Adventure

You had to admire a guy who called his own new book a classic before it was published and anyone had a chance to read it.”

“I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I LOVE YOU. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I.”

“Sonny, don't you tell me what's worthwhile--true love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. Everybody knows that.”

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”

“True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.”

“I am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.
Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse."
"I am you Prince and you cannot refuse."
"I am your loyal servant and I just did."
"Refusal means death."
"Kill me then.”

“But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.”

“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.”

“Flaws would not only bring death but, far worse, humiliation.”

“Fool!" cried the hunchback. "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well known is this: 'Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.”

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”

“Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“Who says life is fair, where is that written?”

“We’ll never survive!”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”

“Love is many things none of them logical.”

“Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.”

“Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”

“Who are you?"
"No one of consequence."
"I must know."
"Get used to disappointment.”

“The Queen's Pride was his ship, and he loved her. (That was the way his sentences always went: It is raining today and I love you. My cold is better and I love you. Say hello to Horse and I love you. Like that.)”

“You seem a decent fellow," Inigo said. "I hate to kill you."
You seem a decent fellow," answered the man in black. "I hate to die.”

“As you wish…”

“I’ll tell you the truth and its up to you to live with it.”

“Why do you wear a mask and hood?"
I think everybody will in the near future," was the man in black's reply. "They're terribly comfortable.”

“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”

“There have been five great kisses since 1642 B. C…(before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy…. Well, this one left them all behind.”

“No more rhymes now I mean it!”

“Anybody want a peanut?”

“AAHH!”

“Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?”

“Have fun storming the castle!”

“You think this is a trap then?" the Count asked.
"I always think everything is a trap until proven otherwise," the Prince answered. "Which is why I'm still alive.”

“I could give you my word as a Spaniard," Inigo said.
"No good," the man in black replied. "I've known too many Spaniards.”

“You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen, and I think it quite ungentlemanly.”

“People don't remember me. Really. It's not a paranoid thing; I just have this habit of slipping through memories. It doesn't bother me all that much, except I guess that's a lie; it does. For some reason, I test very high on forgettability.”

“Buttercup's mother whirled on him. 'Did you forget to pay your taxes?' (This was after taxes. But everything is after taxes. Taxes were here even before stew.)”

“The enemy is always in the mind.”

“I must be overtired', Buttercup managed. 'The excitement and all.'
'Rest then', her mother cautioned. 'Terrible things can happen when you're overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed.”

“Look. (Grown-ups skip this paragraph) I'm not about to tell you this book has a tragic ending. I already said in the very first line how it was my favorite in all the world. But there's a lot of bad stuff coming.”

“Existence was really very simple when you did what you were told.”

“You could concentrate much more deeply when you were alone with agony.”

“Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.”

“There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”

“I don't like killing a girl," the Spaniard said.
"God does it all the time; if it doesn't bother Him, don't let it worry you.”

“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us together today.”

“I just know once you're over your emotional outbursts, you'll come up with-'
I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something,' Westley said.”

“The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattleskulled clod-pated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed boys. How could anybody accuse her of stealing them? Why would anybody want them anyway?”

“Westley and I are joined by the bond of love and you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.”

“Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.”

“I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.”

“I write out of revenge.”

“Buttercup's mother hesitated, then put her stew spoon down. (This was after stew, but so is everything. When the first man first clambered from the slime and made his first home on land, what he had for supper that first night was stew.)”

“My Westley will come for me.”

“When was the last time you read a book? The truth now. And picture books don't count-I mean something with print in it.”

“Inside and out, Westley's world was ripping apart and he could do nothing but crack along with it.”

“Let's look on the bright side: we're having an adventure, Fezzik, and most people live and die without being as lucky as we are.”

“The hollowness was in his arms and the world was snowing.”

“He was the mighty Fezzik, lover of rhymes, and you did not give up, no matter what.”

“What kind of human person has a favorite eraser?”

“Dummy, dummy, go out now and fill your tummy.”

“The Duchess set about studying Annette and shortly found her adversary's tragic flaw.
Chocolate.”

“I'm not witch. I'm your wife.”

“Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. The dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever.”

“I must learn.”