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Warren Farrell Quotes
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Warren Thomas Farrell is an American educator, activist and author of seven books on men's and women's issues.

Farrell initially came to prominence in the 1970s as a supporter of second wave feminism; he served on the New York City Board of the National Organization for Women . Although today he is generally considered "the father of the men's movement", he advocates that "there should be neither a women's movement blaming men, nor a men's movement blaming women, but a gender liberation movement freeing both sexes from the rigid roles of the past toward more flexible roles for their future."His books cover history, law, sociology and politics ; couples' communication ; economic and career issues ; child psychology and child custody ; and teenage to adult psychology and socialization . All of his books are related to men's and women's studies, including his March 2018 publication The Boy Crisis. Wikipedia  

✵ 26. June 1943
Warren Farrell photo
Warren Farrell: 467 quotes15 likes

Warren Farrell Quotes

“Black men, Indian men, and gay men have all have something in common: They do not provide an economic security blanket for women.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 206.

“We cannot think of dads as being nurturing if we think of men as being self-serving.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 240.

“There is what might be called a Catch-22 of hazardous occupations: The more hazardous the job, the more men; the more men, the less we care about making the job safer. The Catch-22 of hazardous occupations creates a 'glass cellar' which few women wish to enter. Women are alienated not just out of the fear of being hurt on the job, but by an atmosphere that can make a hazardous job more hazardous than it needs to be.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. 27.

“Today, violence against women is rightly abhorred. But we call violence against men entertainment. Think of football, boxing, wrestling… All are games used to sugarcoat violence against men, originally in need of sugarcoating so our team --or our society --could bribe its best protectors to sacrifice themselves.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part 1: The Myth of Male Power, p. 75.

“Our children are better served by speaking not of “visitation” versus “custody,” but of “parent time.””

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 187.

“The solution to all this is not criminalization but resocialization.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 340.

“Unless a woman asks men out (the first time) as often as men ask her out, then the assertion He asked me out, therefore he pays is just a double jeopardy of the male role: he must not only do the asking, he must pay extra for risking extra rejection.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988), p. 277.

“A person working 45 hours per week averages 44% more income than someone working 40 hours per week. That’s 44% more income for 13% more time.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. xviii.

“During the years I was on the board of directors of the National Organization for Women [chapter] in New York City, the most resistant audiences I ever faced in the process of doing corporate workshops on equality in the workplace were not male executives—they were the wives of male executives. As long as her income came from her husband, she was not feeling generous when affirmative action let another woman have a head start vying for her husband’s (her) income.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part 1: The Myth of Male Power, p. 46.

“It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” (tongues still touching) conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.””

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

He might just be trying to become her fantasy.
Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 315.

“This is the first time in history that we’ve had this level of luxury, so we have a new opportunity to rethink the way we approach God.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Interview by Jonathan Robinson (1994), p. 115.

“If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 250.

“In the case of a man and a woman [accused of commiting a crime together], both will often agree to the man taking the rap—despite the man being more likely to receive a longer sentence and more likely to be raped in prison. If blacks were agreeing to do that for whites, the black community would be smart enough to call that ‘learned subservience.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 243.

“What Men Would Say When Male-Bashing Is Called “Funny,” But Female-Bashing Is Called “Sexist””

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“The feminist-only funding leads to studies that misinform the nation that a divorced mother is economically more hurt than a divorced man, so judges feel a mandate to make his future income hers, and legislatures feel fine about refusing to make his mother subsidy payments tax deductible even as she pays no taxes on the money received. And all this perpetuates the belief that he earns more money….”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 240.

“A mother’s traditional role prepared her to love her family by being with the family she loved.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“• Hazing is both testing and training to subordinate self to the team.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 295.

“Do women avoid fields like engineering because of the tendency of male-dominated fields to discriminate against women? Probably not. Prior to the women's movement, engineering was no more male-dominated than medicine and law. And women have entered medicine and law by the droves. When women enter male-dominated fields, they tend to enter the more glamorous occupations. And the media reinforces this. There was L. A. Law, but no L. A. Engineering. ER doesn't mean Engineering Room. Women receive six layers of encouragement to enter fields involving engineering, computers, and math and science: first, better starting salaries than men's; second, special programs for girls in high school; third, female-only government scholarships; fourth, female-only corporate grants and scholarships; fifth, the advertising that reaches out to women to create a more female-supportive atmosphere; and sixth, special grants for science programs at leading women's colleges.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. 25.

“From these biased studies come biased social policy. Hundreds of millions of dollars to enforce sanctions against fathers who don’t pay mothers; almost nothing to enforce sanctions against mothers who don’t allow fathers to see children.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 241.

“In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 168.

“In brief, when women batter, men’s first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women’s first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“When men in relationships have more money, we say they have the power. When women in relationships have more money, we say they are being used.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988), p. 218.

“Whether in a South African coal mine, on an Alaskan fishing boat, or in the American military, men's protective instinct toward women, and women's protective instinct toward themselves (and children) keeps men more disposable than women. Here's an example of the dynamic at work in the military. At the military's SERE (survival, evasion, resistance, and escape) schools, concern about the well-being of women was so prevalent among male students that trainers now work to desensitize men to sexual assault and other abuse of women lest their sensitivity be used against them in war. We think of women in the military as being safer in part because they are still prohibited from the most dangerous assignments. But this prohibition is just a reflection of the traditional male's instinct to protect women.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. 33.

“If organized team sports develop managerial skills for a corporate setting, pickup team sports are more like training to be an entrepreneur… Pickup team sports are still about 99% male. That is, this form of preparation to be an entrepreneur is about 99% male socialization. I believe this is one of many contributors to why men who run their own business earn twice what their female counterparts earn.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. 156.

“Women’s vulnerability confessing their desire to see men as a success object is matched by men’s confession of compulsiveness of sexual desire for women.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988), p. xxvi.

“Because men complained less, we made the false assumption that the complaints women experienced were only women’s complaints and, therefore, only women’s problems. Which created the rationale for women’s problems to be solved – or at least addressed – by public policy.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“The motto of feminists: “There is never an excuse for hitting a woman.” Shouldn’t it be, “There is never an excuse for hitting.”?”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“Men tend to put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their wives (or womenfriends), it is difficult for a man to communicate feelings of disappointment to his wife because, if she withdraws, it feels to him like his entire emotional support system has collapsed.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“Men are not only women's unpaid bodyguards, they actually pay to be a woman's bodyguard.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 230.

“We often hear that mothers do the caring; fathers just do the playing. This is a false dichotomy -- even a dangerous one -- because fathers’ particular style of play involves both a conscious focus on teaching and, as the research is now showing, is instructive to children even when it is not consciously designed to be so.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 57.

“One grand fallacy of the women's movement: Expecting work to mean "power" and "self-fulfillment."”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 232.

“Tone of voice is more crucial than words.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000), p. 25.

“Even men who share their personal experiences find that, instead of empathy, they get the response Dear Abby gave this man: “Women have it worse.” This belief is so strong that over the past quarter century, women’s old fantasy of marrying a man-as-protector has been tainted by women’s new nightmare of husband-as-batterer.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“Empathy for women is an attribute of masculinity. When men play the protector role they are trying to save a woman from grief or pain. If they had no glimpse of her grief or pain, they wouldn’t know when to protect.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000), p. 33.

“Unemployment, of course, sends the economy into a recession, creating more unemployment. Ironically, unemployment hurts women more than men. Feminists argue that’s because of sex discrimination: women are the last to be hired and the first to be fired. Correct on the outcome; wrong on the reason. We hire first what we need most, and we fire first what we need least. That’s why you hire the garbage collector first, and fire him last. Men may be hired first and fired last because more men are willing to do society’s dirty work and hazardous work for a lower price.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Earn More (2005), p. 212.

“When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988), p. 71-72.

“Societies in which men were unwilling to dispose of themselves in war were societies that usually got disposed of. Societies that were protected were protected by killers, which is why I call the traditional role of men the role of killer-protector.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“We are at a unique moment in history -- when a woman’s body is affected, we say the choice is hers; but when a boy’s body is affected, we say the choice is not his -- the law requires our 18 year old sons to register for the draft, and therefore potential death-if-needed.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 132.

“On an unconscious level, the demonization of sexuality usually implies the demonization of males and the victimization of females.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 97.

“So while in men’s magazines success is a power tool to get sex and love, and therefore the look of success is crucial, in women’s magazines love and sex are power tools to get success—and therefore both the look of love and the sexual tease/promise are crucial.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988), p. 78-79.

“In a Stage I survival-focused world, a father needed to be a problem-solver. He needed to “tough it out” by denying feelings. He needed to persuade, argue, debate, set rules, distinguish right from wrong without flexibility. These skills made him “eligible,” they brought him a wife and children. In every sense of the word, these skills were his relationship language. Problem is, “toughing it out” fed his loved ones’ mouths, but didn’t nurture his loved ones’ souls.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 116.

“Men are still playing protector of women’s transitions, and both sexes expect only men to make transitions on their own.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“It would be hard to find a single example in history in which a group that cast more than 50 percent of the vote got away with calling itself the victim… Women are the only 'oppressed' group to share the same parents as the 'oppressor'; to be born into the middle class and upper class as frequently as the 'oppressor'; to own more of the culture's luxury items than the 'oppressor'…”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part 1: The Myth of Male Power, p. 40.

“We think of the division of labor as being outdated, but in fact it has reemerged. In the early ‘80s, a mother was 43 times more likely than the father to leave the workplace for family responsibilities; more recently, a mom is 135 times more likely to leave the workplace for family responsibilities.”

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“If we believe that it is predominantly men who batter women, it is hard to see why women also need to change: We will continue saying, “Just change the men. They’re the batterers.””

Warren Farrell

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“While the label “date rape” has helped women articulate the most dramatic aspect of dating from women’s perspective, men have no labels to help them articulate the most traumatic aspects of dating from their perspective. Now, of course, the most traumatic aspect is the possibility of being accused of date rape by a woman to whom he thought he was making love. If men did label the worst aspects of the traditional male role, though, they might label them “date robbery,” “date rejection,” “date responsibility,” “date fraud,” and “date lying.””

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part III: Government as substitute husband, p. 313.

“In brief, she is the partner to what primarily he creates; he is the visitor to what primarily she creates. To me, this wasn’t equality.”

Warren Farrell

Source: Father and Child Reunion (2001), p. 167.

“When birth control pills were available in Europe but not in the United States, American women created an uproar about how the unwillingness to make the pill available showed a contempt for the lives of women… When the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released birth control pills with high dosages of hormones that were later found to be unnecessarily high, they were attacked for not caring about women enough to do the necessary tests.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 195.

“Letting men die is a money-saving device. Safety costs money… as one safety official put it, ‘When everything is hurry, hurry, hurry, when you start pressuring people and taking shortcuts, things can go wrong. And then people die.’ No. And then men die.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 119.

“The reporting of depression is often associated with the dependency of women on men. But it is dependency on men successful enough to allow a woman the time to think about more than survival. Which is why, when we think about women who report depression, we think of middle-class women, not working-class women. The working-class woman is too worried about survival to report depression. Depression is a diagnosis that tends to increase among those with the luxury of worrying about something other than survival. The more a person is in Stage II, the more that person can afford to focus on depression.”

Warren Farrell book The Myth of Male Power

Source: The Myth of Male Power (1993), Part II: The Glass Cellars of the disposable sex, p. 177.