Gracie Allen quotes

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Gracie Allen

Birthdate: 26. July 1902
Date of death: 27. August 1964
Other names: Gracie Allenová

Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen was an American vaudevillian and comedienne who became internationally famous as the zany partner and comic foil of husband George Burns, her straight man appearing with her on radio, television and film as the duo Burns and Allen.

For her contributions to the television industry, Gracie Allen was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 6672 Hollywood Boulevard, while she and Burns were inducted into the Television Hall of Fame in 1988.

Co-star Bea Benaderet said of Allen in 1966: "She was probably one of the greatest actresses of our time." Wikipedia

„I’m having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 7 : Buying a good used platform
Context: I’m having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there’s no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you’ll have no use for after you’re elected.

„Let them call us nonentities. Who cares? A nonenitiy can be just as famous as anybody else if enough people know about him.
But let’s leave personalities out of this and just talk about me.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 1 : Government jobs pay big money
Context: Who am I to talk? That’s a fair question, and one which deserves a better answer than I can give you. … Come to think of it, who are you? Whoever you are, I sympathize with you. I sympathize with everybody; that’s what I get for being a candidate myself. Let them call us nonentities. Who cares? A nonenitiy can be just as famous as anybody else if enough people know about him.
But let’s leave personalities out of this and just talk about me.

„It’s silly to think that Presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won’t admit it.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 2 : Others make good, why not you?
Context: Presidents are made, not born. That’s a good thing to remember. It’s silly to think that Presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won’t admit it. So if you’re only 16 don’t be discouraged, because it’s only a phase and there’s nothing wrong with you that you won’t outgrow.

„Offend the other candidates, because they’ll be too busy talking to hear you, and besides, they might not vote for you anyway.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 6 : How not to offend anybody
Context: The masses demand a fighting President, and that means you’ve got to offend somebody, because the way I see it, a strong offense is the best attack.
So what can you offend?
That’s an easy one. Offend the other candidates, because they’ll be too busy talking to hear you, and besides, they might not vote for you anyway.

„Ever since I threw my hat in the ring I have had myself shadowed, and the results were very entertaining.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 1 : Government jobs pay big money
Context: As we walk hand in hand through the pathways of knowledge, remember that I am giving you freely and without stint the full accumulation of my two months’ experience as a candidate. I have on file a complete record of everything I’ve said and done. Ever since I threw my hat in the ring I have had myself shadowed, and the results were very entertaining. The things that go on in those back rooms, you wouldn’t believe.
So now we begin our journey together. If you follow these instructions carefully, you will find that every step of your progress, like the path that climbs up and up from the sheltered valley, offers you an ever-wider and more facinating vista, until at last you come out upon the summit of the wrong hill.

„Don’t go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 6 : How not to offend anybody
Context: As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, “Don’t go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.”

„Let’s all pull together and make these United States the grandest place in this whole country.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 5 : Issues and how to pick them
Context: Let’s all pull together and make these United States the grandest place in this whole country. I see a vision. A glorious vision. A united people, marching forward shoulder to shoulder, giving their all for the common good, working while I whistle.

„As we walk hand in hand through the pathways of knowledge, remember that I am giving you freely and without stint the full accumulation of my two months’ experience as a candidate.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 1 : Government jobs pay big money
Context: As we walk hand in hand through the pathways of knowledge, remember that I am giving you freely and without stint the full accumulation of my two months’ experience as a candidate. I have on file a complete record of everything I’ve said and done. Ever since I threw my hat in the ring I have had myself shadowed, and the results were very entertaining. The things that go on in those back rooms, you wouldn’t believe.
So now we begin our journey together. If you follow these instructions carefully, you will find that every step of your progress, like the path that climbs up and up from the sheltered valley, offers you an ever-wider and more facinating vista, until at last you come out upon the summit of the wrong hill.

„So vote early and often. Don’t wait until Election Day.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 7 : Buying a good used platform
Context: Social Progress is not one of my goals. This country is not a social climber, and besides, the Treasury knows too many people already, if you know what I mean.
So vote early and often. Don’t wait until Election Day. I may have found other work by then. Do it now!

„Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time–and millions are doing nothing because it’s the best offer they’ve had this week.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 5 : Issues and how to pick them
Context: Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time–and millions are doing nothing because it’s the best offer they’ve had this week. … It is for these people and many others that the Surprise Party is conceived and desecrated, founded upon the principle that everybody is just as good as anybody else, even though they aren’t quite so smart.

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„I’m the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 4 : How to attract attention and be drafted
Context: You remember me. I’m Gracie Allen. I’m the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.
Furthermore, I’m the only candidate who got the idea of running myself. All the others had to have somebody else think it up for them, or anyway they say the only reason they’re running is because their many friends kept after them and after them until they finally gave in.

„Who am I to talk? That’s a fair question, and one which deserves a better answer than I can give you.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 1 : Government jobs pay big money
Context: Who am I to talk? That’s a fair question, and one which deserves a better answer than I can give you. … Come to think of it, who are you? Whoever you are, I sympathize with you. I sympathize with everybody; that’s what I get for being a candidate myself. Let them call us nonentities. Who cares? A nonenitiy can be just as famous as anybody else if enough people know about him.
But let’s leave personalities out of this and just talk about me.

„I’ll make a prediction with my eyes open: that a woman can and will be elected if she is qualified and gets enough votes.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 3 : Why a woman president? Well, why?
Context: Now, I don’t pretend to know all the answers. I’m just a plain, ordinary, everyday genius who loves her fellow-man whenever possible. But let me tell you that women are getting very tired of running a poor second to the Forgotten Man, and with all the practice we’ve had around the house the time is ripe for a woman to sweep the country. I’ll make a prediction with my eyes open: that a woman can and will be elected if she is qualified and gets enough votes.

„Now, I don’t pretend to know all the answers. I’m just a plain, ordinary, everyday genius who loves her fellow-man whenever possible.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 3 : Why a woman president? Well, why?
Context: Now, I don’t pretend to know all the answers. I’m just a plain, ordinary, everyday genius who loves her fellow-man whenever possible. But let me tell you that women are getting very tired of running a poor second to the Forgotten Man, and with all the practice we’ve had around the house the time is ripe for a woman to sweep the country. I’ll make a prediction with my eyes open: that a woman can and will be elected if she is qualified and gets enough votes.

„I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak for a year and a half.“

—  Gracie Allen

As quoted in Gracie : A Love Story (1988) by George Burns, p. 17

„I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.“

—  Gracie Allen

As quoted in Say Good Night, Gracie! : The Story of Burns & Allen (1986) by Cheryl Blythe and Susan Sackett, p. 48

„A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.“

—  Gracie Allen

Source: How to Become President (1940), Ch. 7 : Buying a good used platform

„Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Etiam egestas wisi a erat. Morbi imperdiet, mauris ac auctor dictum.“

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