“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”
Zen Masters : The Wisdom of Frank Zappa (2003)
Works
The Real Frank Zappa Book
Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa:
129
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Famous Frank Zappa Quotes
“Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.”
'Be-Bop Tango (Of the Old Jazzmen's Church)
Roxy & Elsewhere (1974)
Variant: Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny
"Packard Goose"
"Joe's Garage Acts II & III" (1979)
Variant: Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best.
Frank Zappa Quotes about people
The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989)
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book
"Ben Watson interviews Frank Zappa", in MOJO magazine (October 1993).
Variant: Rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, in order to provide articles for people who can't read
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you’re smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you’re good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you’re doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified.
“People are just waiting around to get certified.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you’re smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you’re good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you’re doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified.
Frank Zappa Quotes about music
“There isn’t anything weird about my music.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: There isn’t anything weird about my music. Weird is a skeleton in the closet, wearing a rubber mask with warts all over its nose, and all that kind of shit. That’s not what I do. The thing that makes my music unusual is that people only hear one kind of music all the time over the radio. It’s wallpaper to their lives. Audile wallpaper. There’s one acceptable beat and there are three acceptable chord progressions. There are five acceptable words: baby, love, tears, yat yat. Just because I don’t deal in those terms doesn’t mean I’m weird. So tell these people: I ain’t weird; I’m rational. I’m a person who can choose to write stuff like that, or choose to write stuff that includes all the notes on the piano played at once, followed by a cement truck driving over the piano, followed by a small atomic explosion. Nothing weird about that as long as you do it in a meaningful way.
“The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.”
Interview on London Plus (24 September 1984) - YouTube video http://youtube.com/watch?v=CR2N040drg0
Frank Zappa: Trending quotes
“Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989), p. 259.
Context: My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. Children are naive — they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.
Frank Zappa Quotes
“It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.”
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book
Variant: If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989), p. 233.
"My Pet Theory" on the second disc of the twin CD version
The MOFO Project/Object (2006)
Context: The '60s was really stupid … It was a type of merchandising, Americans had this hideous weakness, they had this desire to be OK, fun guys and gals, and they haven't come to terms with the reality of the situation: we were not created equal. Some people can do carpentry, some people can do mathematics, some people are brain surgeons and some people are winos and that's the way it is, and we're not all the same. This concept of one world-ism, everything blended and smoothed out to this mediocre norm that everybody downgrades themselves to be is stupid. The '60s was merchandised to the public at large... My pet theory about the '60s is that there is a sinister plot behind it... The lessons learnt in the '60s about merchandising stupidity to the American public on a large scale have been used over and over again since that time.
“Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”
"Heavenly Bank Account".
You Are What You Is (1981)
“Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance; it's what makes America great!”
A appearance on The Tonight Show (29 June 1988)
Variant: Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great!
“In the fight between you and the world, back the world.”
Franz Kafka, Betrachtungen [Reflections], Number 52, (c. 1917)
Misattributed
Cocaine Decisions (1983) http://youtube.com/watch?v=RDEwJ2xlSXk
Context: I'll tell you what classical music is, for those of you who don't know. Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. And it's formula music, the same as top forty music is formula music. In order to have a piece be classical, it has to conform to academic standards that were the current norms of that day and age … I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.
“Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me.”
When asked what amazes him about people, in an interview with Grace Slick on Rockplace (11 February 1984) - YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpcvJiZUbzI
Context: Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart — incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: There’s no reason to assume that my idea of what‘s better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don’t think they know. And I can’t see any authority on the horizon that’s got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.
When asked what amazes him about people, in an interview with Grace Slick on Rockplace (11 February 1984) - YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpcvJiZUbzI
Oui interview (1979)
Context: The cool-person syndrome is peculiarly American. Part of that has to do with the way the educational business is run in the U. S. It’s not based on how much you can teach your child: it’s based on how much money the suppliers of basic materials can make off your child. Somewhere along the line most people pick up the desire to be a cool person, which is just another way to make them buy things. Once you’ve decided that you need to be a cool person, it makes you a possible victim of anyone whose products are the equivalent of bottled smoke. Somebody tells you to buy this particularly useless item and you’ll be a cool person. No matter how stupid it seems, you have to buy it. Pet Rocks. Pringle’s potato chips. whatever it is — the newest, the latest. Since the cool-person thing is something you learn in school, and since the school business is pretty suspicious and definitely tied up with the government, it makes you wonder whether or not the desire to be cool is part of a government plot to make you buy stupid things.
“Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization — you can't just swallow it whole.”
The Dub Room Special (1982).
Context: I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization — you can't just swallow it whole.
“The '60s was really stupid … It was a type of merchandising”
"My Pet Theory" on the second disc of the twin CD version
The MOFO Project/Object (2006)
Context: The '60s was really stupid … It was a type of merchandising, Americans had this hideous weakness, they had this desire to be OK, fun guys and gals, and they haven't come to terms with the reality of the situation: we were not created equal. Some people can do carpentry, some people can do mathematics, some people are brain surgeons and some people are winos and that's the way it is, and we're not all the same. This concept of one world-ism, everything blended and smoothed out to this mediocre norm that everybody downgrades themselves to be is stupid. The '60s was merchandised to the public at large... My pet theory about the '60s is that there is a sinister plot behind it... The lessons learnt in the '60s about merchandising stupidity to the American public on a large scale have been used over and over again since that time.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: There’s no reason to assume that my idea of what‘s better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don’t think they know. And I can’t see any authority on the horizon that’s got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.
"My Pet Theory" on the second disc of the twin CD version
The MOFO Project/Object (2006)
Context: The '60s was really stupid … It was a type of merchandising, Americans had this hideous weakness, they had this desire to be OK, fun guys and gals, and they haven't come to terms with the reality of the situation: we were not created equal. Some people can do carpentry, some people can do mathematics, some people are brain surgeons and some people are winos and that's the way it is, and we're not all the same. This concept of one world-ism, everything blended and smoothed out to this mediocre norm that everybody downgrades themselves to be is stupid. The '60s was merchandised to the public at large... My pet theory about the '60s is that there is a sinister plot behind it... The lessons learnt in the '60s about merchandising stupidity to the American public on a large scale have been used over and over again since that time.
“I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: If a person wants to write music and lyrics, he has a perfect right to express his views on a certain subject. I would feel wrong if I were to express anything that I didn’t believe in. I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don’t, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.
“Nothing weird about that as long as you do it in a meaningful way.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: There isn’t anything weird about my music. Weird is a skeleton in the closet, wearing a rubber mask with warts all over its nose, and all that kind of shit. That’s not what I do. The thing that makes my music unusual is that people only hear one kind of music all the time over the radio. It’s wallpaper to their lives. Audile wallpaper. There’s one acceptable beat and there are three acceptable chord progressions. There are five acceptable words: baby, love, tears, yat yat. Just because I don’t deal in those terms doesn’t mean I’m weird. So tell these people: I ain’t weird; I’m rational. I’m a person who can choose to write stuff like that, or choose to write stuff that includes all the notes on the piano played at once, followed by a cement truck driving over the piano, followed by a small atomic explosion. Nothing weird about that as long as you do it in a meaningful way.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: The richest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can’t talk about that.
“Organized religions by their very natures are misleading.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Organized religions by their very natures are misleading. The bottom line is always money. What that’s got to do with your spiritual well-being still eludes me. It’s always the bucks, no matter how they disguise it. If you need that sort of assistance to keep yourself together, you may be paying a higher rate to a fake religion than you would to a psychotherapist. Which is not to say that a psychotherapist is going to give you any better value per dollar either. lf you’re going to deal with reality, you’re going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don’t, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don’t expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it’s going to take care of everything for you. Because it all comes from inside. As a matter of fact, that’s where it stays.
“Time and those waves are at the disposal of anyone who wants to use them.”
As quoted in No Commercial Potential : The Saga of Frank Zappa (1972) by David Walley, p. 3.
Context: I consider that the building materials are exactly the same as what anybody else makes the thing out of. It's just the way they look at those materials is perhaps a narrower perspective. Time and those waves are at the disposal of anyone who wants to use them.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn’t mean you’ve reached them. With reading comprehension being what it is in the U. S., you can safely toss that one out the window. If you want to judge by the listening habits of people who buy records, the first thing they do is put it on and talk over it.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: People have preposterous ideas about what those songs are about and what the music means. They start spouting all this shit that’s so far off the mark, it’s revolting. But if that’s how they derive pleasure, who am I to deprive them of it? Let ’em enjoy it. It’s there for their edification. But total comprehension is out of the question.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: We live in a very special time right now. At no other time in history has there been such mass disillusionment in terms of reliance on governing functions. Most people don’t want to come to terms with that. It’s been proven over and over again that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, but most people don’t like to look at naked emperors. In the process of turning around to avert their eyes, they saw the discotheques and a few other things and latched onto them.
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. Polluted as our atmosphere might be, air is the thing that makes music work. Since all other things that occur in the sound domain are transmitted to the ear through that swirling mass, depending on how wide you want to make your definition, you could perceive quite a bit of human experience in terms of music.
“The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. Most people are probably better off getting the certification they desire and spindling their lives away the way they’re doing. I don’t think they’d enjoy living any other way. There are millions of people who acquire all sorts of wonderful feelings from watching a football game and drinking a bottle of beer. It makes them really happy. Doesn’t do shit for me. But for them it’s life itself. As long as they can believe in the beer and the football, then they’ve really got something. And it’s probably more useful to them than religion. So why take it away? Why tell them what’s really going on? Let ’em be happy.
“Because it all comes from inside. As a matter of fact, that’s where it stays.”
Oui interview (1979)
Context: Organized religions by their very natures are misleading. The bottom line is always money. What that’s got to do with your spiritual well-being still eludes me. It’s always the bucks, no matter how they disguise it. If you need that sort of assistance to keep yourself together, you may be paying a higher rate to a fake religion than you would to a psychotherapist. Which is not to say that a psychotherapist is going to give you any better value per dollar either. lf you’re going to deal with reality, you’re going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don’t, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don’t expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it’s going to take care of everything for you. Because it all comes from inside. As a matter of fact, that’s where it stays.
The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989)
Context: The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.
Zen Masters : The Wisdom of Frank Zappa (2003)
Context: Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.
Crossfire debate on censorship (1986)
Context: I think that if you use the so-called "strong words" you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.
“Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts.”
Liner notes for the album Freak Out! (27 June 1966).
Context: Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. Forget I mentioned it. This song has no message. Rise for the flag salute.
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
Zen Masters : The Wisdom of Frank Zappa (2003)
“Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”
Late Night Special BBC (1993); the American version this documentary was presented on A&E Biography.
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”
Zen Masters : The Wisdom of Frank Zappa (2003)
“Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.”
Quote appearing widely on internet, but without reliable sourcing; variants and possible origins discussed at: The Big Apple (10 October 2012) https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/government_is_the_entertainment_division_of_the_military_industrial_complex Variants: I say politics is the entertainment branch of industry, and government is what we need. We have a diverse population in the United States, with all kinds of different needs that have to be taken care of. That is the righteous function of government. Politics is bullshit, basically. Politics is involved with statesmanship. And I do make a distinction between those things. If you are making a political statement, remember, you are not addressing the real needs of government. You are just talking about the Madison Avenue aspect. So think about that difference. Interview in Keyboard magazine, Vol. 13 (1987), p. 74; later published in Keyboard Presents the Best of the '80s : The Artists, Instruments, and Techniques of an Era (2008) edited by Ernie Rideout, Stephen Fortner, Michael Gallant, p. 125 https://books.google.com/books?id=liknOblq79YC&pg=PA125 I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Politics Is the Entertainment Branch of Industry. C-SPAN’s coverage of governmental proceedings is wonderful. Caution! Buffoons on the Hill! Wallowing in blabber and spew, regiments of ex-lawyers and used-car salesmen attempt to distract us from the naughty little surprises served up by deregulated corporate America. The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989), co-written with Peter Occhiogrosso, p. 322 Government is the entertainment division of the military-industrial complex. We Are All Normal (and we want our freedom): A Collection of Contemporary Nordic Artists Writings (2002) edited by Kaye Sander and Simon Sheikh, p. 365
Disputed
Variant: You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline — it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989), p. 239; this may be derived from a similar observation by Harlan Ellison which is sometimes misattributed to Zappa: "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.”
In response to Joe Walsh on The Howard Stern Show (1987).
"Ben Watson interviews Frank Zappa", in MOJO magazine (October 1993).
