Frank Zappa: Trending quotes

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“Without deviation, progress is not possible.”

“So many books, so little time.”

“One size does not fit all.”

“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”

“Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance; it's what makes America great!”

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”

“Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.”

“Most rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read. ”

“Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.”

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods. All music is good. It fulfills a social function. It's like wallpaper to your lifestyle. It defines what you are.”

“I love the guitar, always have. I can relate to it a lot better than a saxophone.”

“I can’t talk to you about music because you don’t know anything about music. I can talk to you about politics or sociology and all that peripheral stuff, but I can’t talk to you about music. There’s not enough information in common that I could say to you so you’d be able to understand. Besides, the people who read OUI don’t give a fuck about music anyway.”

“The cool-person syndrome is peculiarly American. Part of that has to do with the way the educational business is run in the U. S. It’s not based on how much you can teach your child: it’s based on how much money the suppliers of basic materials can make off your child. Somewhere along the line most people pick up the desire to be a cool person, which is just another way to make them buy things. Once you’ve decided that you need to be a cool person, it makes you a possible victim of anyone whose products are the equivalent of bottled smoke. Somebody tells you to buy this particularly useless item and you’ll be a cool person. No matter how stupid it seems, you have to buy it. Pet Rocks. Pringle’s potato chips. whatever it is — the newest, the latest. Since the cool-person thing is something you learn in school, and since the school business is pretty suspicious and definitely tied up with the government, it makes you wonder whether or not the desire to be cool is part of a government plot to make you buy stupid things.”

“Most people don’t think I’m rational. They’re too busy featuring their hurt. They find it irrational not to feature your hurt. That’s how fucked up they are.”

“The U. S. is a mere pup tent of a civilization. We’ve got two hundred years of stupidity behind us and we think we’re right up there with everyone else who’s been doing it for thousands of years.”

“I'm a conservative, and you might not like that, but I am, and the fact of the matter is, this bill that they're talking about in Maryland is stupid.”