“I'm human. That's how humans spend their time, doing shitty things.”

“I think most people, and I'm talking vamp or human, are shitty. They put on an act. They pretend to be all nicey-nice, but are really just one step away from showing their true asshole-ness.”

“I— finally, I have the body that I want, and that's a thing people really covet. It's a hard thing to achieve, and I did. And I'm going to tell you how to have exactly the body that you want. You just have to want a shitty body. That's all it is. You have to want your own shitty, ugly, disgusting body.”

“An adult male human that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone.”

“By the way, dancers are not human beings. How can you be human and do what they do?”

“I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one spending my life making the same mistake over and over again or if that's simply human. Do we all tend toward a single besetting sin?”

“I'm not afraid of werewolves or vampires or haunted hotels, I'm afraid of what real human beings to do other real human beings.”

“Since books are not their primary source materials, as they are for research in the humanities, most scientists prefer to spend their time on experiments and not on reading.”

“The consequence of this is that I'm always finding humans at their best and worst. I see their ugly and their beauty, and I wonder how the same thing can be both. (Death)”

“In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight.”