“The factory workers say that it’s impossible to do anything right. If you arrive five minutes early you are a saboteur; if you arrive five minutes late you are betraying socialism; if you arrive on time they say, "Where did you get the watch?"”

“Arriving late was a way of saying that your own time was more valuable than the time of the person who waited for you.”

“[about public transport] It's unbelievable. People are so desperate to get home. The trains come very regularly, you see them, one minute, two minutes, three minutes… this means nothing to people. As soon as you get on the platform it's a level playing field. I don't care when you arrived, I'm getting on this train.”

“If you arrive late, you won’t know what anything is about, and if you are there all the way from the beginning, you won’t care. p. 277”

“Bomanz sighed. A man couldn’t get five minutes alone. What the hell did he get married for? Why did any man? You spent the rest of your life doing hard time, doing what other people wanted, not what you wanted.”

“Cherry: You know, I’ve been home now for 24 hours. I must’ve been asked 9,000 times about that incident, we don’t have it [the footage], but I want to talk about it. Figure it out: Here’s a guy who gets eight stitches, eight stitches in his chin. What happened? Who did it? Nobody knows, ok? Nobody knows, ok, so here’s what happens. The referee calls the guy over and he says ‘Did you see what happened?’, ‘Whoaa, not my side’ ‘Did you see what happened?’ ‘Well wait a minute if I tell you, that means five-minute major.’ If the linesman says five-minute major…”

“This is an age of scientific wonders. You miss somebody so you pick up the phone to say hello. Three minutes for sixty-five cents. Nobody goes broke.”

“Listen, you bubblehead-up-until-five-minutes-ago…”

“Early in the journey you wonder how long the journey will take and whether you will make it in this lifetime. Later you will see that where you are going is HERE and you will arrive NOW… so you stop asking.”

“(To audience members who were arriving late) You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.”