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Billy Connolly Quotes

Sir William "Billy" Connolly, is a Scottish stand-up comedian, musician, presenter, actor, artist and voice artist. He is sometimes known, especially in his homeland, by the Scots nickname "The Big Yin" . His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer, firstly in the Humblebums alongside friend Gerry Rafferty and Tam Harvey until 1971, and subsequently as a solo artist. In the early 1970s, Connolly made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully fledged comedian, for which he has received numerous awards.

As an actor, Connolly has appeared in such films as Water , Indecent Proposal , Pocahontas , Muppet Treasure Island , Mrs. Brown , The Boondock Saints , The Man Who Sued God , The Last Samurai , Timeline , Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events , Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties , Open Season , The X-Files: I Want to Believe , Open Season 2 , Brave , Quartet , and The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies . Connolly reprised his role as Noah "Il Duce" MacManus in The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day .

✵ 24. November 1942
Billy Connolly photo
Billy Connolly: 23 quotes4 likes

Famous Billy Connolly Quotes

“Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“Don't vote, it just encourages them.”

Billy Connolly

“Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."”

Billy Connolly

“That man (Ronald Reagan, who was President of the USA at the time), he sits at that desk in the White House, and the button is there that can end the world: BOOM! My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television!”

Billy Connolly

“My wife said "I want to sell the house and buy a yacht". I said "What?! You do realise I live here? Comedian, Scottish guy. There's 3 kids over there, each have their own rooms. C'mon, I'll show you, they live here too."”

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly Quotes about time

“People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.”

Billy Connolly

“Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.”

Billy Connolly

“(To audience members who were arriving late) You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

Billy Connolly Quotes

“The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.”

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,6000,556340,00.html <br class="br">Book Sources

“Politically correct is the language of cowardice.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“I leave you with a complaint. Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… well, it's because the national anthem is boring.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“Recently, I turned 60… and even more recently, I turned 62. That was a bastard, I don't even remember the 61.”

Billy Connolly

“I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“Poos himself on stage, classic Billy”

Billy Connolly

“My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.”

Billy Connolly

“You've made a happy man very old.”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.”

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly by Nigel Huddleston, published June 2004.
Book Sources

“The working classes, the ones they refer to in those political programmes as "the ordinary people"”

Billy Connolly

An Audience With Billy - 1985

“There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!”

Billy Connolly

“Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.”

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly by Nigel Huddleston, published June 2004.
Book Sources

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