“Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.”

“Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.”

“It's not just that I'm stupid; it's that I'm just smart enough to know how stupid I am. I wish I weren't so stupid. Or that I were stupider.”

“Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.”

“Feelings are never stupid, they just make us feel stupid sometimes.”

“[Mim to Nelson] "Your father wasn't stupid, he just acted stupid."”

“The foolishness of that comment [equating meat-eating to the Holocaust] is so deep, I can only ascribe it to higher education. You have to have gone to college to say something that stupid.”

“I'm just another stupid human.”

“And just because you have colleges and universities doesn't mean you have education.”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”