Quotes from book
Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell
P. J. O'Rourke

Holidays in Hell is a non-fiction book by P.J. O'Rourke about his visits to areas of conflict during the 1980s as a foreign correspondent, as well as to some less high-profile locations.

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and tonic.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport— two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“They don't like anyone who isn't Korean, and they don't like each other all that much, either. They're hardheaded, hard-drinking, tough little bastards, "the Irish of Asia."”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“War will exist as long as there's a food chain.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborghini to the Grand Prix track to watch the charter buses race.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“The Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“If Christ came back tomorrow, He'd have to change planes in Frankfurt. Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

P. J. O'Rourke photo

“Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the rest of us who actually finished college.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Holidays in Hell

Holidays in Hell (1989)

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