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Terry Pratchett Quotes
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Sir Terence David John Pratchett was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. His 2011 Discworld novel Snuff became the third-fastest-selling hardback adult-readership novel since records began in the UK, selling 55,000 copies in the first three days. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust , filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66. Wikipedia  

✵ 28. April 1948 – 12. March 2015  •  Other names Sir Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett: 796 quotes906 likes

Terry Pratchett Quotes

“There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“I assure you I will not kill you," said Inigo.
"I know that," said Vimes. "But will you try?”

Terry Pratchett book The Fifth Elephant

Source: The Fifth Elephant

“He’d always felt he had a right to exist as a wizard in the same way that you couldn’t do proper maths without the number 0, which wasn’t a number at all but, if it went away, would leave a lot of larger numbers looking bloody stupid.”

Terry Pratchett book Interesting Times

Source: Interesting Times

“Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters if that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head and set off after it. No thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away.”

Terry Pratchett book Feet of Clay

Source: Feet of Clay

“Hell needed horribly bright, self-centered people like Eric. They were much better at being nasty than demons could ever manage”

Terry Pratchett book Eric

Source: Eric

“Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Color of Magic

“Or -- and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it -- the book was true and reality was lying.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, he said, BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“Once you had a good excuse, you opened the door to bad excuses.”

Terry Pratchett Thud!

Source: Thud!

“But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.”

Terry Pratchett

“Oh, always all right. You remember that. We happen to other people.
-Nanny Ogg”

Terry Pratchett book Carpe Jugulum

Source: Carpe Jugulum

“The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“People wanted the world to be a story, because stories had to sound right and they had to make sense. People wanted the world to make sense.”

Terry Pratchett

“We cannae just rush in, ye ken."
"Point o' order, Big Man. Yejust rush in. Wejust rush in."
"Aye, Big Yan, point well made. But ye gotta knowye're just gonna rush in. Ye cannae just rush in. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.”

Terry Pratchett book Soul Music

Source: Soul Music

“The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.”

Terry Pratchett

“Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.”

Terry Pratchett book Nation

Source: Nation

“Don't, Miss Tick had said. things.”

Terry Pratchett

“The dwarfs can turn lead into gold…
It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs.
-Can we?
-Damned if I know. I can't.
-Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could.
-Can you?
-No!
-Ah-ha!”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“God does not play games with His loyal servants", said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice.
"Whoopee", said Crowley.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell.”

Terry Pratchett book Feet of Clay

Source: Feet of Clay

“If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.”

Terry Pratchett book Men at Arms

Source: Men at Arms

“Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!”

Terry Pratchett book Making Money

Source: Making Money

“The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Them as can do, has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Variant: Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.
Source: The Wee Free Men

“Well done,' said a voice somewhere behind him. 'Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds!”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“That's the way it was. Privilege, which just means 'private law.' Two types of people laugh at the law; those that break it and those that make it.”

Terry Pratchett book Night Watch

Source: Night Watch

“One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

“And then there was the headless horseman!" said Tiffany. "He had no head!"
"Well, that is the major job qualification," said the toad.”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“You're not going to die, are you sir?' he said.
'Of course I am. Everyone is. That's what being alive is all about.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Truckers, Ch. 7
The Nome Trilogy (1989 - 1990)
Source: Sourcery

“And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!”

Terry Pratchett book Small Gods

Source: Small Gods

“Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.”

Terry Pratchett book The Last Continent

Source: The Last Continent

“I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma…”

Terry Pratchett book Men at Arms

Men at Arms

“If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind.”

Terry Pratchett

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