Quotes from book
Lords and Ladies

Lords and Ladies
Terry Pratchett

Lords and Ladies is a fantasy novel by British writer Terry Pratchett, the fourteenth Discworld book. It was originally published in 1992. Some parts of the storyline spoof elements of Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Terry Pratchett photo

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Don't try the paranormal until you know what's normal.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Someone got killed up here…. It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer’n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter."
"How’d you know all that?"
"I just trod on ‘im.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“What is magic?
There is the wizard's explanation… wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“I never said nothing…"
"I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Even the blind and meek and voiceless have gods.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“… people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“I thought unicorns were more… Fluffy.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a
red flag to a bu… was like putting something very annoying in front of
someone who was annoyed by it.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Terry Pratchett photo

“Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

Similar authors

Terry Pratchett photo
Terry Pratchett796
English author 1948–2015
P.G. Wodehouse photo
P.G. Wodehouse302
English author None
A.A. Milne photo
A.A. Milne169
British author None
George Orwell photo
George Orwell473
English author and journalist None
T.S. Eliot photo
T.S. Eliot270
20th century English author None
Aldous Huxley photo
Aldous Huxley290
English writer None
Douglas Adams photo
Douglas Adams317
English writer and humorist None
Kazuo Ishiguro photo
Kazuo Ishiguro76
Japanese-born British author None
Jerome K. Jerome photo
Jerome K. Jerome87
English humorist None
John Galsworthy photo
John Galsworthy48
English novelist and playwright None