Quotes from book
Unseen Academicals

Unseen Academicals
Terry Pratchett

Unseen Academicals is the 37th novel in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. The novel satirises football, and features Mustrum Ridcully setting up an Unseen University football team, with the Librarian in goal. It includes new details about "below stairs" life at the university. The book introduces several new characters, including Trevor Likely, a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can; Glenda Sugarbean, a maker of "jolly good" pies; Juliet Stollop, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been; and the mysterious Mr Nutt, a cultured, enigmatic, idealistic savant.

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“I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour," said Ladyship coldly.

He appeared to consider this. "Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

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“Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

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“I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“The Librarian was not familiar with love, which had always struck him as a bit ethereal and soppy, but kindness, on the other hand, was practical. You knew where you were with kindness, especially if you were holding a pie it had just given you.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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“Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

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