Quotes from book
Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett

Guards! Guards! is a fantasy novel by British writer Terry Pratchett, the eighth in the Discworld series, first published in 1989. It is the first novel about the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. The first Discworld computer game borrowed heavily from Guards! Guards! in terms of plot.

“Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“… a metaphor… is like lying but more decorative.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“One of the things forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Perhaps the magic would last, perhaps it wouldn't. But then again, what does?”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Thunder rolled.. It rolled a six.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Lessee… he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“… the food was good solid stuff for a cold morning, all calories and fat and protein and maybe a vitamin crying softly because it was all alone.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

“There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.
Someone had stolen a book.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

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“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people”

Terry Pratchett book Guards! Guards!

Source: Guards! Guards!

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