Steven Crowder Quotes

“If I were to have told you five years ago that somewhere in the near future, we would see a candidate whisked into office not based on any previous political accomplishments, not for any stellar track record with the American public, but by the sheer magnitude of his celebrity… Wait, did I just describe the Barack Obama circa ’08 or did I just describe Donald Trump?”

“Mr. Trump genuinely has nothing to lose. He doesn’t need the money, he doesn’t need the power and he certainly doesn’t need the fame. It seems that Donald Trump genuinely thinks the country is “going to hell” and simply doesn’t want to wait on the sidelines as it happens. Can he win? Who knows. One thing’s for sure; if Barack Obama makes this into another election that places personality over substance, celebrity over accomplishments, I can see only one outcome… Mr. President, you’re fired.”

“I know that I can give you examples of failed Socialist economies until I'm blue in the face and you won't care. Because of course Socialism is inherently more moral, more altruistic than the evil, greedy, capitalist warmongering seen in the West.”

“As though adding the word democratic in front of a word changes what it means.”

“Democratic Socialism. It's not the same as Socialism Socialism, because its democratic. Right? Or something. Right? People buy that right? People are buying that now apparently.”

“Listen, I’m not somebody who really cares about polarization, political correctness or even what context can be fit into proper 40-character formatting. People can hold any opinion that they want on any subject that they choose. Just don’t proactively lie to people. It’s a simple request really, and one that we don’t hear nearly enough. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cpac-2012-rap-video_b_1273779”

“Funnily enough, today there is one area of sex that when discussed, still makes people’s posteriors pucker with discomfort… abstinence.”

“Now as long as the people having their stuff taken away from them are in the minority and the majority feels that they get to benefit from more said taken stuff, you'll always be able to win that decision through a popular vote and claim the moral high ground through democracy.”

“So Sweden. Good place not bad people. But a successful model for a viable economy in today's global market. Incorrect!”

“The fact is that over time the greatest enemy of Socialism is reality.The reality that human nature will invariably pull certain people toward individualism and success and others toward laziness and collectivism.”

“If you only take one piece of advice from this OK, please sincerely – don’t be an asshole your whole life.”

“Do you have any idea sir how pathetic it must be to be you?”

“I’m a young conservative Christian who’s pretty edgy but never dirty.”

“After high school I wiped the dust off my shoes and thought, ‘I’m never going to let that happen to me again. I’m never going to be afraid again.”

“Everybody has an angle.”

“Oops. Did I just make a “judgment?””

“Do yours the right way. If you’re young and wondering whether you should wait, whether you should just give in, become a live-in harlot/mimbo and do it the world’s way. If you’re wondering whether all of the mocking, the ridicule, the incredible difficulty of saving yourself for your spouse is worth it, let me tell you without a doubt that it is. Your wedding can be the most memorable day and night of your life… or just another party.”

“Go ahead and take your foot off the “civility” gas pedal for all I care. We should all be replacing it with “honesty”.”

“Like all great character assassination attempts, implication is much more effective than accusation.”

“As an aside, I’ve never once claimed to be “offended.””

“Listen, one doesn’t need to be religious (nor a rocket scientist) to see the value of abstinence. Let’s disregard the immediately eliminated risk of increasingly popular STD’ and STI’s. Heck, let’s even discount the statistical data showing that sexual exclusivity seems overwhelmingly conducive to a successful marriage .Abstinence also provides an incomparable bond of trust in a relationship.”

“Maybe it’s just the lack of fun-factor, or maybe it started with harlotry being misused as a fulcrum for women’s liberation, but if you so much as suggest to someone that abstinence might be beneficial, you’ll often find yourself vilified as a judgmental jackass faster than Bill Maher can throw up his dainty hands.”

“Sex. Some of us do it, most of us like it and we all think about it…. A lot. I know I do (though I was told that it’s normal). Gettin’ busy really isn’t the taboo subject that it once was.”

“Yes, I admit it, I’m in a long-term relationship and I’m abstinent. Scandalous, I know. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to do (mostly for me, because she’s way out of my league), and that’s what makes it so important.”

“Yes, I am a pro-life, Christian Conservative and an absurdly imperfect hypocrite. So goes the journey of life. Back to wiener jokes.”

“Also, I’m certainly not Trump’s number 1 fan, but even I can see that his plan isn’t just about the wall. It’s about tightening all border security. But also the wall. Because it’s a hell of a lot harder to scale a giant wall or fence than just walking across nothingness. Just ask Israel or Hungary. Sure, it doesn’t solve all the problems, but a giant blockade is a step in the right direction.”

“At our first rehearsal, I remember our director telling me “You know, Steven… You don’t have to do a Gene Wilder impression.” I asked “Why not?!””

“If you told me, at 20-years-old, that at 21 I’d be the youngest contributor signed to Fox News I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“Even at 11, I had more foresight than Johnny Depp. I watched the movie on a continuous loop, studying Gene’s every mannerism, taking notes.”

“I spent a lot of my life afraid as a kid, even throughout high school.”

“My dad sat me down, gave me my first paycheck and explained what would be taken out for taxes,” he said. “The top tax rate in Quebec was something like 51 percent and I remember thinking, ‘Oh no, that’s my money!’””

“It seems that the snobs at The New York Times would rather see more teens go ahead and off themselves than find salvation through the Christian faith (imaginary or not).”

“Preaching Christian salvation is to preach moral absolutes. Hollywood no likey.”

“You can be a namby-pamby leftie, a gun-toting neo-con or a soft, indecisive moderate. I really don’t care. Just don’t lie to me.”

“Putting the word democratic in front of your Socialism doesn't make it any inherently more moral nor less violent.”

“Unlike capitalism free enterprise which can only occur truly through voluntary transaction, Socialism can only occur at gunpoint. That's what it comes down to.”

“Greed. What's more greedy than wanting to take something from someone else that you haven't earned.”

“Denmark. OK, here's the time when you point to an entirely homogeneous population 1/60th the size of America's and you point to that as the blueprint.”

“The tension between the makers and the takers always, always, leads to Socialism's inevitable collapse.”

“Just because we toss something to a vote, doesn't change what that something is.Nor does it alter whether that something is inherently good or bad.”

“Protip: any time someone uses the word “xenophobia”, you’re in for a hefty dose of dumbassery.”

“You can be a namby-pamby leftie, a gun-toting neo-con or a soft, indecisive moderate. I really don’t care. Just don’t lie to me.
As an aside, I’ve never once claimed to be “offended.””