Louise Rennison Quotes

“Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.”

“As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

“What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.”

“Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It's not what I do.”

“Through my curtains I can see a big yellow moon. I’m thinking of all the people in the world who will be looking at that same moon.

I wonder how many of them haven’t got any eyebrows?”

“He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.”

“He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit."

Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.”

“He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty.”

“Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?”

“If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!”

“I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.”

“Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.”

“You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?'
'Look, shut up, people might hear.'
'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?”

“Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.”

“Look, I can't go out with you, because… because… because I'm a lesbian.”

“Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

“I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.”

“When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!'
Christ what an image.”

“When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made.”

“What shall I say? I must tread a fine line between glaciosity and friendlinosity. With just a hint of 'you don't know what you are missing, my fine-feathered friend.”

“Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?”

“What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?”

“You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!”

“And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.”

“I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, "WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???”

“He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.”

“As she left my room I knew I should shut up. But you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up… but you keep on and on anyway? Well, I had that.”

“Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!'
'I don't know, a bowl?'
'Non… I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!”

“Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus”

“Watching TV Mum said, 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who?”

“P. P. S. I am giving you telepathic hugs.
P. P. P. S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.”

“And that's when it fell off in my hand”

“How do you make yourself not like someone?”

“When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.”

“Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on”

“A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.”

“How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?”

“He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.”

“Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.”

“Unbelievable! I said, "What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?”

“I am going to become a writer for Cosmo - you don’t have to make any sense at all. Or maybe I’ll be a bloke, they don’t have to make sense either.”

“I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet" - Georgia Nicolson”

“I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.”

“You wouldn't say ' You've got the crappest eyes I've ever seen. Your eyes make me physically sick.”

“I am going to keep my mind (well, what's left of it) occupied by doing (and I never thought the day would come when I would say this) my homework.”

“Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.”

“He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.”

“Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy; then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.”

“I am a pop widow.”