Janet Evanovich: Ranger

“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”

“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
Ranger”

“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.
Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it.
Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”

“I checked my phone messages. Three in all.

The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message.

The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.”

“Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots."
"Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.”

“One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger”

“There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing."
Ranger”

“My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."

-Ranger and Stephanie”

“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”

“Diesel is back," Ranger said.
Yes. How did you know?"
I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.”

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.”

“Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.”

“I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.”

“Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. “If you’re looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you’d be with me this morning.”
“Did he make you take a blood oath that you’d protect me?”
“He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.”

“Exercise improves your sex life.
Ranger to Stephanie”

“Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.”

“Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?'
Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.'
Superheroes are make-believe.'
Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?”

“You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said.
"I just enter. I don't usually break."
"You broke down Pitch's door."
"Lost my temper."

-Ranger and Stephanie”

“Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.”