“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."Eddie DeChooch”Janet Evanovich book Seven UpSource: Seven Up
“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum”Janet Evanovich book One for the MoneySource: One for the Money
“I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.”Janet Evanovich book One for the MoneySource: One for the Money
“Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex… a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.”Janet Evanovich book Eleven on TopSource: Eleven on Top
“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”Janet Evanovich Twelve SharpSource: Twelve Sharp
“Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me.”Janet Evanovich
“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it.Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”Janet Evanovich
“I checked my phone messages. Three in all.The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message.The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.”Janet Evanovich book To the NinesSource: To the Nines
“Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities"You mean like a guardian angel?"I mean, like, it has seatbelts”Janet Evanovich book Hot SixSource: Hot Six
“Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both.”Janet Evanovich Plum Lovin'Source: Plum Lovin'
“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”Janet Evanovich book Hot SixSource: Hot Six
“Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.”Janet Evanovich book One for the MoneySource: One for the Money
“Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out?"Lula”Janet Evanovich Four to ScoreSource: Four to Score
“You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire.Do you really think so?'Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.'I don't like the wood elves.'They're okay. They're misunderstood.”Janet Evanovich
“You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it.Lula to Stephanie”Janet Evanovich Twelve SharpSource: Twelve Sharp
“Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.”Janet Evanovich book To the NinesSource: To the Nines
“Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week."Carl Costanza - Hot Six”Janet Evanovich book Hot SixSource: Hot Six