Quotes about hamster

A collection of quotes on the topic of hamster, likeness, women, men.

Quotes about hamster

“You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!”

Roald Dahl book Matilda

Source: Matilda

Stupidity

“If anybody felt worse than I did, it was Amos. I had just enough magic to turn myself into a falcon and him into a hamster (hey, I was rushed!)”

Rick Riordan book The Red Pyramid

Source: The Red Pyramid

“Sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree

O woe is me,
O woe is me,
I used to have a hamster tree,
But it was eaten by a newt,
And now I have no cuddly fruit,
O woe is me,
O woe is me,
I used to have a hamster tree!”

Clive Barker book Abarat

Source: Abarat

Tree, Christmas

“I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

Graham Chapman (1941–1989) English comedian, writer and actor

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

Food, Animals

“The hamster called. He wants his home back.”

James Patterson (1947) American author

Source: The Final Warning

Home

“You can say with safety that nowadays women have finally acknowledged their position of not liking men. We could say now that women don't like men. They can acknowledge that they prefer the company of their own kind. I think we can also say generally that most men do not like other men. Most men prefer to like women. So women are the most liked by the most people. Men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters. A one-way slide. There is little going back the other way. Can hamsters love children? I leave you to deduce the rest.”

Peter Greenaway (1942) British film director

Palmira
8 1/2 Women

Love, Women, Men, Children

“Some atheists say that Adam could never name all of those animals in one day. When I get all excited I can speak 350 words in a minute. At 300 words in a minute you can name all the animals in 26 minutes. Dog, cat, elephant, aardvark, hamster, etc. Plus you have got to figure that Adam had an extremely high IQ. He came straight from the hand of God, fully programmed. Did you know that he could speak every language in the world? Okay, there was only one language then. The guy could walk, talk, and name all the animals and get married the first day. Adam probably had a super high IQ. No problem for him to name all the animals in a half hour.”

Kent Hovind (1953) American young Earth creationist

Creation seminars (2003-2005), Dinosaurs and the Bible

God, World, Dogs, Guy

“All the world's a cage, and all the men and women are merely hamsters”

Tony Vigorito (1950) American writer

Love and Other Pranks (2017)

Women, Men, World

“Zebras are reactionaries,
Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.”

Paul Simon (1941) American musician, songwriter and producer

At The Zoo
Song lyrics, Bookends (1968)

“I come from Illinois, corn country. There are so many kinds of corn up there they have to number them. You'd be driving down the highway, you'll see BX65, don't mix it up with XL29, you know, something, blah-blah-blah. But I'll tell you what, folks, you can crossbreed your corn from now till the cows come home, and you'll always get corn. You'll never get a hamster, or a tomato or a whale to grow on that corn stalk, okay?”

Kent Hovind (1953) American young Earth creationist

100 Reasons Evolution is So Stupid! (2001)

Home, Country

“Standard economists don't seem to understand exponential growth. Ecological economics recognizes that the economy, like any other subsystem on the planet, cannot grow forever. And if you think of an organism as an analogy, organisms grow for a period and then they stop growing. They can still continue to improve and develop, but without physically growing, because if organisms did that you’d end up with nine-billion-ton hamsters. There is a great video on this.”

Robert Costanza (1950) American economist

Robert Costanza in: " What is Ecological economics http://insights.som.yale.edu/insights/what-ecological-economics," at Yale Insights, May 2010.

Understanding, Thinking

“But I do think we need to explore the commitment problem, which has caused many women to mistakenly conclude that men, as a group, have the emotional maturity of hamsters. This is not the case. A hamster is MUCH more capable of making a lasting commitment to a woman, especially if she gives it those little food pellets. Whereas a guy, in a relationship, will consume the pellets of companionship, and he will run on the exercise wheel of lust; but as soon as he senses that the door of commitment is about to close and trap him in the wire cage of true intimacy, he'll squirm out, scamper across the kitchen floor of uncertainty and hide under the refrigerator of Non-Readiness.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Column, August 18, 1991
Columns and articles

Women, Men, Food, Guy

“The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him…. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!”

Ian Holloway (1963) English association football player and manager

On Cristiano Ronaldo <br class="br"> "Holloway column" , BBC SPORTS(4 april 2008) http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7329117.stm <br class="br">Sourced quotes

Feeling, Parting

“Just because you can arrange animals in order, that doesn't prove anything. Even if you find them buried in a certain order, that doesn't prove anything. If I get buried on top of a hamster, does that prove he's my grandpa? No! Order of burial means nothing!”

Kent Hovind (1953) American young Earth creationist

Creation seminars (2003-2005), Lies in the textbooks

Animals

“[spoofing Mister Rogers] It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood… oh, damn, someone stole my sneakers. Let's do some wonderful things today, boys and girls; but first, do you mind if I take some more medication? It helps the day go a little bit slower. There we go. Now we're gonna do some wonderful experiments you can do around the house. Let's put Mr. Hamster in the microwave, okay?… He knows where he's going. BEEP! Pop goes the weasel! That's severe radiation. Can you say "severe radiation?"”

Robin Williams (1951–2014) American actor and stand-up comedian

Oh, look, you got a little balloon now.
Reality...What a Concept (1979)

Beauty, Girl, Boy, Help

“The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the poor and stinking of sewage and trash. But there are worse parts— squatter areas where people live under cardboard, in shipping crates, behind tacked-up newspapers. Dad would march you straight to the basement with a hairbrush in his hand if he caught you keeping your hamster cage like this.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Republican Party Reptile

Republican Party Reptile (1987)

People, Parting, Housing

“(Commenting on band The Killers' lyrics from the song 'All These Things I've Done') Deep down, it really is just a meaningless lyric, isn't it? [Sings] "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier". I mean, you may as well be saying "I got ham, but I'm not a hamster"”

Bill Bailey (1965) English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author

Tinselworm (2008)

Soul, Singing

“Seriously. The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead.”

Nick Harkaway (1972) British writer

Twitter, 2019-01-26, on a Brexit development https://twitter.com/Harkaway/status/1089230075365638146 <br class="br">Twitter

Dead