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Graham Chapman Quotes

Graham Arthur Chapman was an English comedian, writer, actor, author, and one of the six members of the British surreal comedy group Monty Python. He played authority figures such as the Colonel and the lead role in two Python films, Holy Grail and Life of Brian .

Chapman was born in Leicester and was raised in Melton Mowbray. He enjoyed science, acting and comedy and, after graduating from Emmanuel College, Cambridge and St Bartholomew's Hospital Medical College, he turned down a career as a doctor to be a comedian instead. Chapman eventually established a writing partnership with John Cleese, which reached its critical peak with Monty Python during the 1970s. He subsequently left Britain for Los Angeles, where he attempted to be a success on American television, speaking on the college circuit and producing the pirate film Yellowbeard , before returning to Britain in the early 1980s.

In his personal life, Chapman was openly homosexual and a strong supporter of gay rights, and was in a long-term partnership with David Sherlock. He was an alcoholic during his time at Cambridge and the Python years, but quit drinking shortly before working on Life of Brian. He later became an enthusiast and patron of the Dangerous Sports Club. Chapman died of tonsil cancer on 4 October 1989, on the eve of Monty Python's 20th anniversary. His life and legacy were commemorated at a private memorial service at St Bartholomew's with the other five Pythons. Wikipedia  

✵ 8. January 1941 – 4. October 1989
Graham Chapman photo
Graham Chapman: 26 quotes0 likes

Famous Graham Chapman Quotes

“A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.”

Graham Chapman

“I fart in your general direction.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“Tis but a scratch!"

"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

"No it isn't."

"Then what's that?"

"Oh come on, pansy!”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

Graham Chapman Quotes

“I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.”

Graham Chapman

“Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Beldevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause]… I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“One, two,… five!"
"Three, my lord.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“I am known by many names, but you may call me… Tim.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition… A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says."

No, it's not…”

Graham Chapman

“McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry.

Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories.

McGough: Really? When?

Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time…”

Graham Chapman

“Bring out… The Comfy Chair!!!!”

Graham Chapman

“In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition…”

Graham Chapman

“Camelot is a silly place.”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“She turned me into a newt.
… But I got better…”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

“I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!”

Graham Chapman

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Screenplay

“Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”

Graham Chapman

“Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.”

Graham Chapman

“Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.”

Graham Chapman

“Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health… what have the Romans ever done for?

Brought peace!”

Graham Chapman

Source: The Life Of Brian: Screenplay

“Your Life our your lupines!""
Dennis Moore”

Graham Chapman

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