“It's how you get rid of cats. You get a 500-pound parakeet and teach it to say, "Here, kitty kitty kitty."”

“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”

“The only thing that was sort of Asian [as a role model] was Hello Kitty. I don't want to model myself after Hello Kitty.”

“It’s sweet. All this trouble for a kitty.”

“What the hell kind of name is Kitty for a werewolf?”

“Oh you’re heist-drunk Kitty Kat. And you have been since the Henley.”

“Suppose you want to teach the "cat" concept to a very young child. Do you explain that a cat is a relatively small, primarily carnivorous mammal with retractible claws, a distinctive sonic output, etc.? I'll bet not. You probably show the kid a lot of different cats, saying "kitty" each time, until it gets the idea. To put it more generally, generalizations are best made by abstraction from experience. They should come one at a time; too many at once overload the circuits.”

“That Kitty was capable of any deep grief was unbelievable. He had gradually grown to think of her as something unapproachable and callous. She would get a divorce, of course, and eventually she would marry again. He began to consider this. Whom would she marry? He laughed bitterly, stopped; a picture flashed before him — of Kitty's arms around some man whose face he could not see, of Kitty's lips pressed close to other lips in what was surely: passion.”

“Forgive me, Kitty, they don't call me a bundle of contradictions for nothing!”

“All animals copulate but only humans osculate. Parakeets rub beaks? Sure they do, but only little old ladies who murder schoolchildren with knitting needles to steal their lunch money so that they can buy fresh kidneys to feed overweight kitty cats would place bird billing in the realm of the true kiss.”