“Having spelling errors is one thing, but c'mon. I've typed out more coherent sentences with my penis.”

“But the beauty is not the madness
Tho’ my errors and wrecks lie about me.
And I am not a demigod,
I cannot make it cohere.”

“Thankfully, I've never had to use the insurance policy. And although a million dollars is a lot of money, to me, my penis is priceless.”

“My fault has been honesty and I've been sentenced to a lifetime of independent movies, and that's it.”

“I am essentially a religious type. In my teens I gave up Catholicism, and at the same time I started writing. Writing keeps me at my desk, constantly trying to write a perfect sentence. It is a great privilege to make one's living from writing sentences. The sentence is the greatest invention of civilization. To sit all day long assembling these extraordinary strings of words is a marvelous thing. I couldn't ask for anything better. It's as near to godliness as I can get.”

“My type is dying out of the theatre. I'm a conductor who has to ORCHESTRATE the whole thing.”

“Type 1 Error: When we settle into wilderness, we are in conflict with so many life forms that we have to destroy them to exist. Keep out of the bush. It is already in good order.”

“The one affectation I have forced on the publisher … are my apostrophe-free ellisions. Because I write my scripts to read myself, I dont spell 'don't' with an apostrophe. I spell it 'dont'. We all know the word and it seems foolish to put in an extraneous apostrophe. Punctuation marks are devices we use to make the meaning of sentences clear. There is nothing confusing about a word like 'dont' printed without an apostrophe to indicate an omitted letter.”

“I don't understand it any more than you do, but one thing I've learned is that you don't have to understand things for them to be.”

“I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence.”