“Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.”

“Elphaba looked like something between an animal and an Animal, like something more than life but not quite Life.”

“We're not allowed to do anything to nature anymore, except look at it. It's like porn with leaves.”

“A lot of the times with porn, it's instant fame. The only thing I can compare it to is being a child actor. You get it fast, then there's a shelf-life for it. With mainstream films, you've got to go to acting classes, you've really got to hustle, there's so much competition, but with these [porn] guys, if you're good-looking with a great body, you're in like Flynn.”

“Life isn't a romance novel. The truth is, the reason romance novels sell so well ---- the reason why everyone loves them ---- is because no one's life is actually like that. Everyone WANTS their life to be like that.”

“Now the mass of mankind are plainly... choosing a life like that of brute animals...”

“Library-denigrators, pay heed: suggesting that the Internet is a viable substitute for libraries is like saying porn could replace your wife.”

“Everyone thinks and imagines that life is easier on the other side. Their minds swing like a pendulum.”

“[The taxidermist is] a historian, dealing with an animal's past; the zookeeper is a politician, dealing with an animal's present; and everyone else is a citizen who must decide on that animal's future (…) The indifference of the many, combined with the active hatred of the few, has sealed the fate of animals.”

“I read On the Road in maybe 1959. It changed my life like it changed everyone else's.”