Doug Stanhope Quotes (28 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

Doug Stanhope: 28 quotes1 like

Famous Doug Stanhope Quotes

“Wanting more. Having your cake or eating your cake are fine. Not even wanting cake is where you get fucked.”

When asked, "What would constitute 'complete happiness' to Doug Stanhope (you)?" Doug Stanhope interview http://markprindle.com/stanhope-i.htm, MarkPrindle.com, 2007 <br class="br">Miscellaneous

“The word addiction is used far too liberally in our society and I shy away from it. If I have any addiction, it would be nicotine. I would say alcohol is more of a compulsive habit for me. I have used different narcotics for roughly 20 years and I have always used them socially, sporadically and usually sparingly. I use cocaine occasionally and sometimes medicinally - before a third show Saturday, a bump of coke can make the difference between a strong performance and just phoning it in - and I've never developed any type of habit, never craved it the next day. I will use hallucinogens a few times a year as well, always in a safe environment. So far as an "early grave," I'm more concerned with quality of life. No sense in having a mint condition classic car if you're afraid to take it out of the garage. I look as sadly at people awash in hand-sanitizer and surgical masks in elevators as they might see me when I'm pouring booze down my head on stage.”

Doug Stanhope

On his drug use. Doug Stanhope interview http://markprindle.com/stanhope-i.htm, MarkPrindle.com, 2007 <br class="br">Miscellaneous

“We live in a world where people will have a GPS and a crucifix on the same dashboard — and you want me to have hope for these fuckin' monkeys on swing-sets?”

Doug Stanhope

Oslo: Burning The Bridge To Nowhere (2011)

“Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“You know the funny thing about child pornography: […] the lack of credits at the end. No ego on that side of Hollywood, is there? “Who did the editing on this film, it's seamless! I want to use him on my independent documentary”— but no names. Not even a nom de plume. Some people are in it just for the art.”

Doug Stanhope

From Across The Street (2009)

“You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best… you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

Doug Stanhope Quotes about people

“There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“Tradition and heritage are all dead people's baggage, stop carrying it. Move forward.”

Doug Stanhope

Oslo: Burning The Bridge To Nowhere (2011)

“(on people who join the military) As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.”

Doug Stanhope

No Refunds (2007)

Doug Stanhope Quotes about life

“All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs… and more holes, that's what you ladies need!”

Doug Stanhope

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.”

Doug Stanhope

Before Turning the Gun on Himself (2012)

“Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.”

Doug Stanhope

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

“Suicide is another thing that's so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn't for everybody. It really isn't. It's sad when kids kill themselves 'cause they didn't really give it a chance, but life is like a movie: if you've sat through more than half of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the very end for you and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early.”

Doug Stanhope

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)