“Some people are against porno movies. And I say hey, Ohio, Kentucky, and Iran: I say, hey - whatever a man, and a woman, and another woman with a penis and a midget do to a donkey, that's their garsh-darn business.”

“When you say, "I wrote a program that crashed Windows," people just stare at you blankly and say, "Hey, I got those with the system, for free."”

“Those against gay marriages say marriage should only be between a man and a woman. God… I of all people know that that doesn’t always work!”

“Hey there, you lady in tears,
Do you think that they care if they're real, woman?
They just take it as part of the deal.”

“Hey, you know something people?
I'm not black,
But there's a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I'm not white.”

“Hello everybody! Hey hey hey! Okay! Do you know it's not... it's not very often that we do shows in daylight. And I fucking wish we'd done before, I can see you all now. And there's some beauties here tonight, I can tell you!”

“It feels like the whole world has turned upside down. There aren't any more rules.

Hey,' I say to Sam, because if the world's gone crazy, then I guess I can do whatever I want. "Guess what? I'm a worker.”

“A woman cannot be a pastor by the law of God. I say more, it is against the law of the realm.”

“As picky as a woman with her shoes,” Abraham grumbled.
“Hey,” I said. “That’s insulting.” I knew plenty of women who were pickier with their guns than they were with their shoes.”

“A woman’s beauty lies in her piety and loyalty. When a man leaves the house, he leaves his trust, wealth, love and respect in her hands and if she opens that up to another man, then I’m sorry to say, I don’t consider that a woman but rather a non-woman.”